well, my girl friend and i have been going out for 3 months now, and now im starting to wonder what her problem is. She is a big pessimist, and is very insecure about...everything. Well, I once went out with this girl, who apparently happens to be one of her best friends. Since the beginning of our relationship, my gf been obsessing over the fact we once went out, and its reallly starting to frustrate me, because she has gone far enough to say i love her (btw we went out officially for about three weeks) and that is just not true. i really dont know what to say, because maybe its just me but it doesnt seem like it should be that big a deal. i have tried over and over again to tell her i dont like this girl, but she wont believe me. what am i supposed to say to get her to stop worrying about this?
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About a girl...
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nothing you can say. she needs to come to a realization that her insercuites are not true and yall are happy. untill then it will be an issue between yall and it just might break you up if she isn't carefull and basiclay gets over it.
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well i mean sometimes her pessimism and insecureness gets so bad i want to just break up with her, but the problem is she loves me, like really loves me, and i'm afraid of really hurting her by doing so
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That may be true but the longer you make it go on the more it will hurt this girl. If you don't feel that strongly about her, or don't feel that you are growing more fond of her, I suggest you break it off.
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seriously think about if its worth it. do you see yourself being with this girl for the rest of your life, if not why would you keep going out with her. I say dump her find some girl more optimistic and doesnt freak out about your past.
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yeah youre right...but the problem now is she went out and bought a prom dress(shes a junior, im a senior), so basically i have to stay with her until after that edit: and also the big problem is that the reason she feels so insecure and pessimistic is, i think, because when she was young her first bf beat her nearly to death and raped her. i mean, i feel guilty for not liking her cuz of her pessimism, especially cuz of her past. so idk what i should do. ive tried my best to help her, but i havent made much of a difference
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oh well then it could be something much bigger. has she told anyone about being raped and beaten or talked to a shrink or something.
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i'm not sure. i mean, she did tell ME about it awhile back, so idk
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yea, well this is a tuff one I dont know man just go with what you think is best for you.
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This girl has some issues that need to be dealt with and has nothing to do with you. You can't fix her. She needs to heal inside before she can have a healthy relationship. Rape and abuse can be detrimental to one's mind. It can control your behavior in relationships for a lifetime.It sounds like you care a lot about this girl, but again, these are her problems. Don't stay with her because you feel sorry for her. That will only make matters worse. I would advise that you tell her to see a counselor to get over these issues. In time, she will grow confidence in herself again. I am speaking from a person that has had the same things happen to me. As for the rape, it happened twice. I was insecure for years. Even now, I cator to men because I am so scared that they will leave me.As for the prom, you may want to take her anyway, but make it clear that it is on a friendship level only. If that's not acceptable on her part, she can always take the dress back.
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grrrrrr.......alright, ive decided....i am gonna break up with her. the problem....i just cant freaking do it. idk y, just i get on the phone with her, she goes off on her "if youre not happy with me ill go away" things then i cant do it. idk y, just she says that then i cant do anything.edit: yea and sry to hear about the rape thing
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well I suggest you try and work through it...If you are unhappy have her talk you through it....It is a lot harder to see flaws in ourselves than others.
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First, don't ever break up over the phone. A woman needs to see it in your eyes. Then they know and feel what you're saying. And reading the problems she has, I would definitely encourage her to seek counseling. But still be her friend. You understand her well and she will need this.
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yea you have a good point....you know what....on second thought, im gonna stay with her. for now. I do have feelings for her, but i am really unsure of them....heh...as stupid as it sounds, my feelings go from not wanting to be with her to almost love...its hard to explain. i might regret this decisiont later, but...shes going through a really rough time, under alot of pressure and if i bail right now i know she will just go insane...and i really don't want that. i do really care about her, i don't want anything to happen to her, and i really really don't want her to do something extreme right now...