I want to die

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Hi first post here! Okay here it is. Im 12yrs old and very depressed. Im very overweight, and have no friends. I dread going to shcool because everyone makes fun of my weight.When I wake up to go to shcool, I think "fuck not again!" I pretend to be sick all the time so i don't have to go to shcool. I hardely ever go out anywhere and don't even know my way around my own town. I have a gf but i found out she only asked me out because she feels sorry for me. Ive never kissed anyone outside my family. Ive tried to slit my wrist to bleed to death many times but I alway chicken out when the blade touches my skin. Ive told my cousin that im depressed but thats it. Im afraid of how my parents will react. They know ive been moody lately. Some one please help me.Should i tell my parents?Help!How do get out of depression?

Hello there, and welcome to the boards.I would definitely sit down with your parents and express how you feel. Let them know how unhappy you are with your weight and how you are being treated at school because of it. It’s important to open the communication with your parents because remember your parents love you and they want you to be happy. Perhaps talk to the about seeing a therapist to help you work through the issues.You can also be proactive with your weight. Watch your diet intake and also look into walking more outside and simply being more active. After talking with your parents they might be able to help you in the eating right department by cooking healthier meals.Most importantly remember to love yourself. Regardless of your weight and structure you only get one you, so love yourself. People ridicule others because they are not happy with themselves. You’re also still very young, and you have a lot of changing to go through (Puberty). That can really change your outside appearance and weight.Just keep your chin up and remember you are a worthy person. Talk to your parents and be honest with them. Trust me they want to know because they love you and want to help you.Take Care!

Good words from Eddie.It sounds to me like you are wanting to take steps to get out of the depression, no? The good news is that, at your age, there are some pretty simple things you can do to help. Here's a list I posted on another thread a while back. (Sorry, I still can't figure out how to link to another post.) I think it's very helpful. In reply to: THINGS TO DO WHEN YOU'RE DEPRESSED:- Get a thorough physical exam - and level with your doctor!- Avoid alcohol. Completely.- Strive to learn about your vulnerabilites and develop ways to manage them.- Learn to distinguish between facts, beliefs, and feelings.- Challenge yourself by asking "How do I know?"- Try to exercise regularly. (Studies show that the benifit of exercising equals the benifit of medications.)- Do fun things and do them often.- Get and stay connected to others. (This might seem difficult in a new place, but even small connections can make a huge difference.)- Learn to relax.- Be goal-oriented in important areas.- Prioritize and problem solve.- Get support. Get help. Don't wait!THINGS NOT TO DO WHEN YOU'RE DEPRESSED:- Don't dwell on the past. Tomorrow hasn't happened yet.- Don't compare yourself to others. (Abraham Lincoln said "You have to do your own growing no matter how tall your daddy was.")- Don't catastrophize - understand probabillity.- Don't leave things unsaid or unresolved.- Don't analyze too deeply. Move on.- Don't reject yourself; define your assets- Don't ignore reality. Get the facts!- Don't ignore your own needs. Self-care is not the same as selfish.- Don't give up or be passive. Try again. BUT DO SOMETHING DIFFERENT!- Don't isolate. Find good people to be with.- Don't leave time unstructured.

Thanks, but i just feel like i can't tell them. My mom already has hundreds of other worries on her mind without this(but i won't get into that right now) My dad works all day. I don't think that we could even afford thearpy(idk how to spell it)right now.I know they love me very much. I never doubted that. I think the root of it all is my weight. I am going to try to eat helthier and a lot less.

Though your mother might have a lot of other worries going on, she'll make room for you. If nothing else it'll give you some freedom by getting it off your chest.

Therapy is not always something that is needed, sometimes just having someone to talk to (like your parents) can more than enough to help you feel better. Venting can do a lot for a person mentally, and sometimes even physically.

And you do have the right idea on how to help your weight. Just limit your portions. When eating, remember you're actually not supposed to eat to the point you feel full. Instead you are to eat to the point you feel content. Exercise is also important, like take a walk around the block or go to the Local Park and walk. Whatever you feel comfortable with.

Keep your chin up and remember if you need to vent or to talk, these many on the boards here that will help you the best we can.

Take Care.

I would really encourage you to take Damien and Eddie's advice on this a talk it over with your parents. If it's to the point that you have a razor blade to your arm, I can't imagine they wouldn't want you to come to them for help regardless of whatever else it is that they have to deal with. I would be willing to bet you are their first priority and come before anything else. I'll stop there and just implore you to reconsider talking to them about your problems.As for the weight thing. You can work on that, look through or ask question in the fitness section of this board. And let me tell ya, the next few years in your life are going to bring so many changes you won't recognize yourself anyway. As an illustration, as I usually do I will use myself, I went from a round, pudgy little boy, existing in a living hell, at 11 or 12 to someone who got paid to strip, by girls and women alike, at 17, 18, 19 (Not that I am in any way encouraging that, I had my own issues that I was dealing with at the time, in an unhealthy manner mind you.) The point is shit is going to change big-time for you in the next few years don't throw away your life now before you even get the chance to live. At your age my life was, or at least sounds, exactly like yours. I'm 32 now and I think my life has been pretty fuckin' good and I can't really think of anything I would change. Maybe the shit I went throught at your age, but then again, in the end it made me fighter and a much stronger person, so maybe I wouldn't. Again the point, you have no idea what fate is holding for you. It may be great things, stick around see what they might be.

Thanks guys, but i don't think im gonna tell them. I think i'll just eat helthier and hope i was right and my depression ends when i lose enough weight.

If your not going to tell them, or a school counselor, then remember you can always come here and unload on us. later bud.

Thanks guys. (to tell the truth, my school counselor is a bitch anyway)LOL

In reply to:I hardely ever go out anywhere and don't even know my way around my own town.That's a good place to make a start at changing things. Push yourself outside your comfort zone (I know it's not easy) and get out of the house from time to time. Explore the town (you can get a map off the Net). It helps to get out, to widen your horizons, and to get some exercise and some sun.

i no where ur comeing from on the "not wanting 2 tell ur parents"thing. im not close 2 mine and when i went through depresion , i didnt tell them. my mum had a friend who has had multipul suiside attemps and my mum couldnt handle it. i didnt want 2 b another worry on their list and burden them with sumthing else.also, i skipped alota school aswell by playing sick. in the end, added up, in one year i miss about a mounth and a half of school. and even now, 3years later, every time i take a day off school, my friends still think im playing sick, its hard 2 live that reputation down and anoying when every1 presumes ur lieing when ur not!its really not worth it. u do need 2 tell ur parents , even if its hard, i wish i had. i no now muy mum would have understood but i couldnt c it at the time.and ur weight shouldnt get u down, aslong as ur eating healthy, there is NO reason to "start eating alot less" , cuz thats how c go from one problem 2 another, and end up with an eating disorder.

thanks 4 ur replys every1!im starting 2 feel better but im still pretty damn depressed.>"there is NO reason to start eating alot less , cuz thats how c go from one problem 2 another, and end up with an eating disorder." i didn't mean that much less.like i sometimes eat like 7 slices of pizza!im gonna try to limit myself 2 about 3 or 4.

ok, thats good. cuz i no ppl who just really jumped from 1 problem 2 the next like that.just sounds 2 me that ur eating the wrong kinda of food. u no that 2 much junk food can b a contribueting factor in depression and can lead 2 alot of other issues inculuding acne and all sorts of other crap u dont wanna have 2 deal with.maybe u could take a look at the health, fitness and diet part of A2A for sum tips. because when it comes 2 ur body, u get out what u put in, and if ur fuleing it with crap, ur not gonna feel that awsum at the end of the day