Diverting a breakup

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well everything with me and my girlfriend were just fine and dandy, that is untill today. You see one of my friends approached me and told me that she was walking her ex to class, I didn't think much of it, because I know she's just being friendly, but somebody in the class took it the wrong way and passed on to her as though I was some sort of spy. She confronted me after school and asked me whether or not I had people watching her in the halls, of course I said no (which is the truth by the way), but she hears conflicting stories and now she doesn't trust anybody.I told her that I was being honest, but she just won't trust me, she tells me that she won't trust anybody because she only gets hurt in the end. I asked her if we were still together, and she just said "I don't know". I can't believe this is happening, I was so happy, the happiest I have been in my entire life, this girl has been my everything, I even thought I might be falling in love with her, and now just because of some "he said she said" crap, she's going to dump me? I don't know what to do, I don't know what to say. Tomorrow I'm supposed to go on a field trip, but I think I'm going to skip it, so that I can see her in person and talk to her about this. Help me to divert this breakup.

Let me just say upfront if she is that quick to throw away her trust for you, then YOU should be dumping her. But ok tell me more about your relationship with her and how long you've been together, and maybe I can help.

ah sounds like high school drama.Okay you made a boo boo by asking if you were together still.She says she is not trusting anyone aka she needs someone with her more than ever. You need to be that person or someone else will sunggle in. Tell her that with all you heart you do not have anyone spying and that a friend just came up and told you...Tell her the truth, the whole story and let her know that you are her man and you are there for her b/c you love her. Just be 100% truthful and make her feel loved, give her a hug...

It sounds to me that he already told her that, but ok.

well he has to use the right tone, that is the key.

I should leave her, something in me tells me that I shouldn't put up with this, but I don't think I could find anybody else that I could connect with the way I connected with this girl. SHE IS AMAZING! We've been going out for around three weeks, it's a pretty short time I admit, but I've been a close friend of her two years prior to that.

then why leave her, lol...that makes no sense. relationships are not easy at all. They take work and you are getting a taste of that early. So just work through it because doing that is what makes you stronger

Though I agree with you to a certain point, I thought you never had a relationship? But your right, if he thinks she is the only one he can connect to in that way he shouldn't break up with her, even though she might deserve it, and I could be wrong on this but the whole thing might have just been a set up for her to get back together with her old boyfriend while making it seem that it was your fault you broke up. This happend to a friend of mine

And that is where being more resilient comes in to play. If you do not let the plan work then they are the ones who lose composure.

Okay . . female perspective. Let's just say if she's having trust issues in a 3 week relationship, that's fairly normal. Especially if she's been screwed over before. But on the other hand, talking til you're blue in the face may do no good. She may be hell bent on just not believing you.One thing that has always been effective when it comes to my behavior in similar situations, is the man ignoring my insecurities, jealousies, whatever you want to call them. What happens is I end up drawing in because I see that he is secure in what he does and how he feels. After a while, you realize that it's really no big deal. Basically, I calm down and begin to trust.The more you defend yourself, the more you look guilty. Make your statement of fact once, and do it firmly. All you really had to say to her is "You can believe me or you can believe the rumors. It's up to you. I really don't care either way. But I'm telling you the truth . . and so on."

She won't talk to me, and she avoids me at school. I'm really starting to worry. I talked to her once and gave her a letter, I don't know if she read it, but I do know she didn't want to look at me, because she kept turning away.

Ya, her advice sounds good. Do what she said. Even though it might be too late for that.

We broke up, she wouldn't even give me a chance to talk to her, she avoided and ignored me. I'm sort of releaved, I didn't want to fight her anymore.

If she didn't even give you a chance I'd say that she never ment to in the first place, she was probably intending this breakup.

Well now I know the truth, the whole truth, and quite frankly it hurts worste than before.

You see, I though she broke up with me because of the lies spread to her by her friend, well she says that wasn't the reason, and in fact the reason was that she didn't feel any chemistry with me. I don't believe this! Chemistry? We had tons of chemistry, we were all over each other. I don't understand why she would lead me on like this, I truely thought she liked me, but I guess she didn't. I could have sworn she liked me though, because all I did was ask her out, she was the one that started holding my hand, she gave me the first kiss (on our first date :wink: ) and she was the first to acknowledge that we were bf and gf.

If there was no chemistry, then why the hell would she do all those things? I don't understand it at all, I feel so confused and dissapointed.

We only recently began talking again, I could barely stand to have a conversation with her. She makes me so mad, and I really feel bad for her, because I doubt that she will find another guy who will respect and care for her as much as I do with the kind of reputation she has.

"Lack of chemistry" is an easy and undisprovable excuse.