Would it be a good idea to ask out a co-worker thats 21 if you're 17 and you're not sure if she likes you as much as you like her?
I didn't really like her pre-December until we were scheduled together for Sunday-Thurs. 10pm-6am so we didn't really have alot of work to do, the first couple of days weren't really talkative, then we started talking alot about random stuff.
After that, everytime we'd randomly work together she'd be happy to see me or happy if I was working. I'd be happy if she was working, or even if she wasn't working and I just saw her.
Theeenn just recently, like the passed week we've been talking alot via internet.
Over this time, I've been getting interested, but I'm not sure if she feels the same way?
Everytime we she knows we work at the same time she offers me rides to work and home.
Do you guys/gals think I should ask her out?
Should I ask a co-worker out?
Would it be a good idea to ask out a co-worker thats 21 if you're 17 and you're not sure if she likes you as much as you like her?
In general.. co-worker relations is frowned upon. Especially by your manager/whoever. Ive seen situations where people get fired for getting involved with co-workers.
Also, age is a barrier. four years is a big number when it comes to relatively young relaitonships.
I can't really see her feeling the same way as you.. maybe she's just outgoing and likes to get to know her co-workers. I'd be careful, whatever you do.
Plenty of other women out there, and dating a 17yo boy as a 21yo woman is pretty serious. 99% chance she'll say no based on that alone, and if she didn't I doubt it'd last. I mean, what are you going to do when she wants to go out clubbing etc?
Not worth the risk, not at work.
there is an old and accepted wisdom...
don't get your meat where you get your bread.
that said, your co-workers are also part of your peer group and we all find partners within our peers so it's normal for these issues to arise.
as far as 21 vs. 17 - it's not illegal and it's only 4 years. Play it by ear and be careful
<b>and there was light</b>
Seems to me if it became anything it would be purely sexual and might end as abrruptly as it started, but go ahead if you're feeling her.
stay the fuck away from her.
you have to work there, if shit goes bad, your still going to be seeing her.
Mr U said something to you about dont get your meat where you get your bread, but I prefer to say it as Dont shit where you eat.
Let's agree to respect each others views, no matter how wrong yours may be.
I agree. If something messes up with you two, you'll have to see her still. It could be awkward to the point of having a negative effect on your work. Also, 21 year olds and 17 year olds are in completely different worlds. She's most likely in college, and you're not even out of high school. Work on getting a girl your age who you can identify with and who shares your goals and interests, not with someone's who's already working at getting her life in order.
Also, you just might get both your asses fired.
TOTALLY forgot to mention this in the origonal post, but she DOES have a BF, which is on the frits. She always tells me how they're fighting or arguing, etc. In my first post, I was just letting you know if I SHOULD even be thinking about this girl, boyfriend or not I wasn't planning on going out w/ her because of the age, and what SHE would think of it.
You're aloud relationships with co-workers IF it doesn't interfere with your work.
We're both managers where we work as well.
Please give me your insight on this, (from conversation w/ the girl)
The bolded will be her.
Hey? (Question mark because 5/10 times I'll keep my MSN on and leave my computer running)
OMG! It's (insert my name) He's here!(L)(L)(L)(heart signs for MSN illiterate people)
The "what're you doing" questions were asked and answered, etc.
**Hey, you around? **
Saw you online and felt happy for some reason
Mixed conversations being said, too much to type, and would bore you guys..Currently she was the only one who knew I had 2 jobs, fulltime at 1 and part time at the other...
Two jobs suck, plus you need time to hang with me in the summer
(I was talking about quitting a job)
Later on in the life of conversations:
**You know guys, you can find me a decent BF. **
I'm a girl, I know lots of girls ;):P
About an hour into a conversation, no point saying the useless conversation she's talking about her BF and goes
You talk to me, and say more to me in a day then my BF does in a week
next day she was working, I was not, I came by work anyways
Today was a good day
You came to visit me!
Later on in life:
hey, I'm surprised I'm still awake.
**:( Well I'm really glad that you are. **
then she goes off about how her and her boyfriend are arguing, etc, and she doesn't know what to do because she kinda likes someone else and shes not the kind of person to like another person whilst in a relationship(9/10 times she won't say it's a relationship as she'll say "My what ever I have going on" etc.
I ask who the other person was...being the curious guy I am.
oh some guy i know. which im sure im going to have bad luck with because liking someone when in a relationship is BAD KARMA and! it wouldnt work out anyhow..so i should just stop thinking about it
I would never! ever! cheat on my boyf..no matter what he did to me..i just..feel miserable for even thinking about it...but i cant help it.. does this make me a bad person?...:$
Does it make you a bad person for thinking about cheating on him? No. Would it make you a bad person if you did? yes
i just feel bad for someone else making me happy
and not like happy just happy...like happy everytime i see the person happy..and that scares me:S
We then switched the conversation to random everyday life talk....later in the conversation I asked if she wanted to go out for coffee sometime.....Longish story short we went out for coffee last week for a couple hours.
Couple days later, after coffee.
I have to get ready to go
**Out with the boyf, not that I want to **
/sarcasm, tell him you're hangin' out with (insert my name) ;):P
(I said that because he knows I'm young and he doesn't want her hanging out with me)
**haha...oh...he is NOT happy with me **
**He's like " You and (insert my name " blah blah **(because we text and talk on MSN alot, or she'll tell him she's giving me rides to and from work, etc)
**and then he pulled the he is too young for you card **
**and I flipped and told him to walk home from work **
and apparently I smile when I talk about you
I then asked how he knew how old I was
Overnights (these were the Sunday-Thurs 10pm-6am in Dec. I was telling you'se about)
**He got jelous of you **
that I was working with a boy and said I had fun doing overnights with you
but when I told him we went out for coffee the other night.....I've never seen him sooooooooooo mad
and I just made a thinking smiley....and she carrys on:
and I was like look, even if I liked someone else I wouldn't go out of my way to cheat on you, can I not have friends?
**I'm kinda not going to get ready...because he gets mad at me for being friends with you:) **
But the thing is (insert my name)you are by FAR more mature than any 17 year old I know.....I had no idea how old you were untill you told me
That was it for that conversation.
I had to go to work, till 12am, so I said I'd be home at 12:30 and talk to her then.....She texts me at 9 says shes going to bed, when I get home at 12:30ish she logs on MSN and says
I woke up just for you :smile:**
whats up whats up nothing nothing how are you, etc. was tossed around....
**I don't know how to end my relationship and I dont want it to go bad cause that is the last thing I need right now **
I think I'm going to stay single forever
because everyone i like...either doesnt like me....isnt in my league....isnt in my age group....or just wants to sleep with me....
Her best friend is a......gay guy, and they talk and what not, and she says things about standards and what not getting a new boyfriend etc, he would murder her if
she dated anyone she wanted, except one.....and says this:
but...that person isnt ever going to come and tell me he likes me...he will come out of the closet first *-) *cough* dont say any names or i might have to murder you.
"That person isn't ever going to come and tell me he likes me".....I like her, I probably wouldn't end up telling her BECAUSE of the age difference, if it were 17 to 17year old I'd straight up ask her out but, thats not the case. Still, not sure if she was implying something or what.
"He will come out of the closet first" I ofton make jokes about coming out of the closet, etc.........Again, not sure if she's implying something or what.
then I say
"I won't say any names, how about you say names?"
No talking for a bit, and I just say something to break the silence and we go on talking about random everyday life.
What do you guys think?
Should I let it go and just stay friends with her, tell her how I feel over coffee or something, or..what?
The only other guy she ever has mentioned (insert name here) from work, who I've developed a friendship with, as well.
But....He's the kinda guy who will tell the girl straight up he likes her and what not, etc. + they're kinda more a best friends typa set vs. a dating kind.
This is probably a long post, thanks to anyone who read it.
-Be her shoulder to cry on, be there as a friend.
-If things are this rocky, then the relationship will eventually crumble and they'll disperse.
-Think about it further then.
That's what I'd do.
It is almost ALWAYS a bad idea to hook up with a co-worker. There's an interactive equilibrium that gets disrupted, one person always interprets it differently than the other, it's just too sensitive or too intimate a thing to bring into the workplace.
For every success story about dating a co-worker, there are a ton of non-successful stabs at it, which usually end in 1 person being hurt (either openly, or they hide their hurt) and enough negative feelings that 1 of the partners will end up looking for a different job to get out of the now-tense or now-hurtful situation.
She broke up w/ the BF, still playing it by ear.
I really don't know.
Think I might have to let this one go, as I'd rather be friends with her and hang out still, versus me asking her out or telling her how I feel, then having an awkward friendship if she turned me down.
I was origonally going to say 'long story short' but I'm bored so I'll type.
She's in the bold, I'm regular writing.
She was in a really good mood at work, (I was working w/ her) and then she gets home and she seemed to be annoyed/sad:
Whats the matter? You seemed to be in a good mood at work (L)
i love this boy....and he hurts me.....so i try to shut him out....and i cant....and i just keep getting hurt.....soo im wondering where does this hurt stop?
Who is this guy?
doesn't matter, no one is going to save me!:(
Well..then, sorry to hear that :((F)
We don't say anything for a bit then she goes;
Get a damn GF so we can all go out and do stuff!
Who's we all?
dude from work/GF, you/GF, me/BF
(this was after she broke up with buddy)
Well who's your boyfriend?
we havent exactly confirmed if he is or isnt..i tried to tonight...and you see i ended up in tears.. and he was all...we will talk tomorrow
(This is what threw me off, when I said " I think I might have to let this one go " in the above post, as she didn't say anything to me......?)
Something something something
She asks if I got a GF yet, and I go no everyone I like already has a BF and etc. etc. and she goes
Well thats not always bad, atleast if they get out of a bad relationship they have someone to talk to The boys I liike don't know I exist or would never like me.
That was pretty much it, we didn't really talk for a week as I was really busy then oneday she comes on and goes on about a second job and her boss asked her over for dinner and his son would be there and, etc. more of a blind date style-dealie, we're talking for a bit, she seems like she really wants to talk to me, etc. blah blah. Then after about an hour she goes
Date time, i'll text you if it goes bad
text me either way
I like someone else, it's not going to really matter.
ill just be stuck in hell forever because the person i like doesnt like me
You should tell me about that
I'm kinda curious, but I never bothered to bother you and ask you about it.
heh, id love to tell you..but you are the one person i cant tell
That just makes me more curious.
Then days later, dude from work(who is friends w/ her and I) and her come over to my house after work at about 1am and dude and I are drinking while playing Xbox and shes just sitting there leaning against me and seemed like she wanted to be close to me. Then at 5am the 3 of us went to a restaurant till 7, when we both finally got home she gets on MSN and says
im extremely happy and super bummed out at the same time so i dont even know if it is humanly possible to sleep...are you going to bed?:(
I'm falling asleep.
But I wanna fight it.
Because I love talking to you (F)
Some words were said, she went to bed. Next day, (or, same day, considering it was 8am when she went to bed) that night we close together and she comes over my house after and we watch a movie till 4am. EVERYtime I looked in her direction she was looking at me, or she'd randomly giggle at the movie and I'm like " what? " and she goes " so I need an explanation everytime I do something? " and
I go " No, you just giggle randomly but I think it's cute " and smile at her
By the end of the movie we were both under the blankets and laying next to each other (touching, but not cuddling)
she just seemed like she really wanted to be there and was really happy even though she was SUPER tired and shit at work.
Then, next day, or, same day being it was 4am when she peaced out, she comes into work when I'm working and is helping me and I go " well what're you doing after? " (it would have been 1am when we were done) and she goes "Going to insert restaurant, do you want to come?" and blah blah blah, we go to the restaurant, talk, what ever, on the way to my house she was talking about guys and blah blah,
so I bring up
"So why am I the only guy you can't tell who you like?"
and she goes "cause"
and I go "k", the way she said 'cause was like it was an awkward why did I just ask that question, so I just replied with k, no curiosity or anything. Get out of the car, thank her for inviting me to blah blah.
10 minutes later I get a text.
Because I kinda like you. . but I wouldn't wanna make it awkward ever. Umm, ya.
I reply with I'll talk to you on MSN as my replys too long for text.
She gets on MSN, whats ups were exchanged and shit,
then I just go
soo...I actually really like you, I started liking you when we did overnights, but, I knew you had a boyfriend, and you're older so, I kinda didn't wanna say anything, and, I wasn't sure if you liked me.........
20 minutes later, when pre-me saying this the replys were instant
I was speechless before...!
and then I had this wave of unspeechlessness
and i shouldnt have anything..and now im very frazzzzled........
(I wasn't sure if she meant to say, I shouldnt have said anything, but I never bothered to ask or what ever)
I feel like temperance
then nothing was said for awhile and I just go
Well I don't know what to say insert her name
I'm so tired I can't even think.
So when I think of something to say
I'll say it
Then it just turned into a regular conversation and it's been a day since that.
What do I do?
Continue hanging out w/ her casually and what not and see if SHE does anything or should I try to kiss her or cuddle or next time we watch a movie or..wtf.
When is your bday, man? If it's in the near future I would think it could possibly work. However, this does come with a caveat:
Normally I stick to this: Never dip your pen in company ink
If things don't work out, that can end in an uncomfortable situation. Also, if she's a big partier which I don't think she would be, seeing as you two hang out all the time, as it's been said, if she wants to go to a club or bar you'll have to be out of there by 10 lol; that could become a nuisance.
Tread carefully, man. There are plenty of other females out there, this one is no different from the billions of others. I know she may seem like it. But in all reality, that is not the case. Which is why it's so easy to move on to the next female.
Beware the white text!
--consider that your disclaimer.