One last tear

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in the last 72 hours my life has turned every which way possible. a best friend got shot and killed, i found out my girlfriend/ hoped to be future wife cheated on me, i just dont know what to do anymore, i feel like crying but i cant, ive physically attempted to make myself cry by thinking about the good times me and her have had, but i cant bring myself to get anything out except one tear, this tear wasint like the other ones that ive had, although i havent cryed in a long time, i remember my tears, they were soft and light, this one last tear was hot, sweet/salty and heavy, my ex girlfriend had been talking to her ex david, i hated this guy, for reasons i didint know, i recently found out once i went threw her notes from her best friend, that she had started talking to him from at least 4/24/06 thats the letter that i found out she was speaking to him, i only got 3 letters so most possibly she was talking to him prior to this letter, then the letter from 5/01/06 it clearly stated that she has begun to date him. idk what to do, my heart is torn, yet i hardly feel pain, my stomach feels uncomfortable, and my head is spinning, when i stand up everything gets fuzzy and hard to see, i think somethings wroung wit me i just dont know what it is. im sorry to have burdened u all with this, but its either write my feelings out on the computer, or carve them into my skin. plz help me,

darlin, there isn't anything at all wrong with you, whats happening at the moment is the numb feeling that we all get when things sink out of control in a short time. The tears will come, and you should let them, they are nothing to be ashamed of. Allow yourself to grieve for your friend, and even your relationship with your GF thats gone. Things will get better honey, they always do, but the next few days and even weeks might be hard and dark for you, but there is light there and you will see it when you are ready to move into it again. cuddles

i recently found out once i went threw her notes from her best friendTHe fact you went thru her shit seems to say to me that you didnt trust her, if you dont feel 100% that you can trust who your with, your better off with out them. You said she cheated on you but all that you stated is that she talked ot him, talking does not mean cheating.IF you belive that then your not mature enough to be in a adult relationship.As to your buddy getting killed, there isnt shit I can say there that everyone else hasnt said to you already. want me to rehash thier words or change em around to be my own but mean exactly the same thing ?pointless. Good luck in it though, and I can say that shit always ends up getting better eventually, its a matter of how long that takes, not if.

grvtykllr, dude, have some compassion! While i respect your opinion, there's no need to be an ass about it when you can clearly see that he's goin through a hard time.What you're going through is hard, but it will get better. I am sorry that your best friend was shot, it's a sad, sad thing when any life is taken away, especially when it's through unnecessary means. As for your Girlfriend, well, that's a ridiculous thing for anyone to do, cheating, and you are better off without her ... wow that sounds cliched ... but truly, you are. And if she does it to you, honey, she'll do it to him. Cheaters are like liars, just because they say they've changed doesn't mean it's true, it just means that they've learned to be sneakier about it.Once more, hon, you're in my prayers. It will all be better in time.

I agree, I wasnt being an ass, atleast not in my mind. I was simply implying that if hes not ready to be in a relationship of htat nature that maybe its best that its over. bad shit happens to everyone, but alot of times it works out for the best, almost like it was fate, one thing leading to another and what not.one door opens another opens sorta speech with out the cliches if ya will.I also stated I was sorry for his loss and that there was not really anything I coud think of to add to it that hasnt been said to him already by the other memebrs who posted here.f

i called her about the notes, and the reason i had gone threw them in the first place was a game, she was reading my text messeges, so i took her backpack into the bathroom and read the notes, i took 3 of them back home with me and didint realize what they said till i re read them, after i called her and talked to her, she told me that she had been talking to him for like 3 months, (we had just finished our four months on the 6th) she also told me that she went out with him a few times to the mall and to the movies, even tho i told her i never wanted to hear dudes name again, she completely let it go in one ear and out the other, i guess i am better off without her, but i just wish all of this didint happen so quickly... thank you all for your kind words, they do mean alot to me, i have to go get dressed for school :-( bye

well Iv talked alot of shit to you in other posts on other subjects, I hope you understand that each thread is a new argument and I try to not connect them all and base each reply on all the others. because I think your full of shit on one subejct doesnt make me automatically give you a negative reply on another, doing that is against the rules of arguments.some may misconstrue my words as unkindf, I hope you are ature and intelligent enough to see the meaning behind them and understand that I really di dwish ya the best in your situation and that I wasnt jsut being an ass.when Im being an ass, youll know it.

What horrible news. I'm really really sorry. Don't worry about whether the way you feel is right - you can feel lots of different ways and it's all part of grieving.

I wish I were with you.

I don't think that anything is wrong with you at all; everyone handles mourning/stress in their own way, and for some people, crying doesn't cut it. It sounds like, based on your writing, that you'd probably get through your situation best by venting your feelings to a good friend, or possibly writing it down (maybe as a poem, song, or talking to us) Who knows, maybe letting it all out verbally will create a few stress-releasing tears.