I Love My Girlfriend But...

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We're not sexually compatible.

For the last four or five months she has not let me initiate sex. She refuses to even talk about sex. Basically, sex has to be on her terms and only on her terms. Now the most we have sex is once a month.

And when we do have sex, the focus is all on her. She will not have sex unless she's on top because she says this is the only way she can get off. But the truth is, she gets off in about three minutes when she's on top and when we used to have regular sex, I could get her off in just about any position imaginable, just not within the three-minute mark. We don't make love anymore... she just grinds me and seemingly tries to get herself off as soon as possible.

After she gets off, she immediately pushes me away, puts on her clothes and either gets on the computer or watches TV. Meanwhile, I'm feeling lonely and, to make matters worse, I didn't get any pleasure, whatsoever. I try to explain to her that sex isn't just about getting off, but as soon as a discussion leads into sex, she "doesn't want to talk about this right now." She always promises me a discussion later in the week about the subject, but then gives me the same runaround.

We used to have a very, very fiery sex life. But now I feel like less a man after countless rejections. If I begin to mention this to her the subject is usually changed or she just makes fun of me. Apparently, I'm being silly. And now we hardly ever hug or kiss anymore.

I hate to sound like a jerk, but at 23 years of age, I'm not sure I can handle a sexless relationship, even though I do love her. This is an otherwise perfect relationship. Right now, though, I am so, so unhappy in a relationship without affection. Am I just being silly?

And yes, I do know that she loves me every bit as much as I love her. I just need romance more than she does.

You need to find a way to communicate with her. Make her talk to you, find a way to make her listen and talk back.

Don't really know what else to say.

I honestly have tried so hard to communicate with her about this and like I said, it just seems she doesn't want to talk about it. I've gone so far as checking out books from the library and reading every article I can get my hands on about communication. I think my real question is is this a bad reason to break up with someone? Should I just get used to it? Or is this a ligitimate reason to end something that had potential?

In reply to: And when we do have sex, the focus is all on her. Yeah it is called being a guy. We are not that hard to get off bud...A woman requires much more than a man does, not saying a man would not like it. Just love her numb nuts....This is why sex is corruptive. If you cannot make love to your woman and please her than it is not her problem.Okay you need to setup a line of communication...Have some time set aside and start a discussion about this b/c it is important you talk to her about sex, but as far as it being about her, shut up....that is just sad...It sounds like your relationship is heading South and fast...talk to her bud...talk

ok, is it just me or does this chick sound like a bitch?no offence, but if a guy did the same things 2 a chick, as this girl is doing 2 u, hed probably get dumped very very quickly.guys need 2 feel intimacy aswell. it seems that she is not willing 2 comprimise and thats a major thing u need 2 do in a good relationship.u need 2 tell her that u HAVE TO talk 2 her. sit down, turn off the tv and tell her she dosnt have 2 say anything yet, she just has to listen 2 how u feel. if this dosnt work, its never going 2 work for u 2 and i say u move on, ur just not compadable.

well how is the rest of your relationship? - is she this standoff-ish when your together, talking etc? i think in a relationship you need a level of intimacy, and also a sense of equalness, if shes not contibuting to the relationship and not letting you talk to her, you need to think whether this relationship will work any longer in the future

If she is not willing to communicate or change... Get out. You'll never be happy.

It WILL get worse, no matter what you do. Maybe she is seeing someone else? That would account for her "get off me" attitude. She is a class A bitch. There are guys who do the same to women and they are all assholes. Dunp her, you can do better and will do better.

Damn, she sounds so much like my ex gf. Dude where are you from for gee wiz sake. Anywho, you need to drop her like a bad habit. I am sorry but the sex life is a big part of my relationships. If I am not happy with it, whats the point of staying with her? I am just going to look elsewhere. I would also be very curious about what she is has going on outside of you two. You just don't go from hot and heavy to get off me I am done. That is like the number one sign of a cheating mate. They lose interest/passion in you, so the sex life goes to hell. It is hard for someone to enjoy sex when you don't really want to have it in the first place.