What If You Work With Her??Please Help!!

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Ok there is this girl i work with.She is 10 years younger than me and yes is over 21.I have had feelings for her for about the last 5 months without her ever knowing because she had a bf.She has now since broken up with him about a month ago.She always use to tell me about some of her problems but hasn't mentioned to me about her breakup.I actually hears it from someone else i work with.Now considering the age difference she is very mature for her age and in a working environment i get on great with her.The question is should i tell her how i feel about her? I know it would be too good to be true for her to feel the same about me and i know that if i say something and she doesn't feel the same then our working relationship will never be the same, that innocence will be lost i guess.Last week i asked how she was going and she said she was 10 years behind...what did she mean by this.Please any advise would be appreciated.Just to let you know i was in this possie a couple of years ago with another person i worked with and after working along side her for 5 years i finally confessed my feelings for her.She didn't feel the same and our working relationship suffered dramatically, and she left after 2 months.I don't want to make the same mistake.

I've recently dated someone I work with. We work in a very professional environment. If anyone found out, it would have been messy. Long story short, we had a good breakup and remain friends with benefits.If I were you, I wouldn't do it. For several reasons. First of all, confessing yourself like that, 9 times out of 10, doesn't work. If you have to go for it, you should go for it in a more subtle way.

my sister is engaged to the guy that she used to or works with. it's fine just go up to her and tell her how you feel.

Hey web, what would be a more subtle way? The only way i see it is doing what japan said and go directly to her.But i know she doesn't feel the same for me and if i open myself up things will never be the same between us on a working level.If i knew for sure she felt the same then i would have no hesitation in asking her but seeing as i don't know what she is thinking i don't think i could go to work with her knowing how i feel about her and her not feeling the same.Does that make sense??

Since you work with her, you've got an advantage because you can find out what she likes, what she's good at, things like that and not make it suspicious. Bring it up in casual conversation. Instead of confessing yourself, set up a "hang out". For example, I got a girl that likes to shop and wants to be a fashion designer to go shopping with me because, "I want to get a more professional outfit for work, so how about I take you shopping and let you play dress up with me so we can find a good outfit. It would really help me out. I'll take you out to dinner for helping me."It's a good idea to set up the "hang out time" at the beginning of the week so that way she doesn't have something planned already. Once you are out together, then just be hanging out and have fun. By the end of the night, it might as well have been a date. You went out shopping together then went to dinner. Maybe say you could go for some coffee after you two have had dinner.Once you've done that, you can get a feel of where to go from there.

Don't dip your pen in the company ink, my friend.

My brother is now married to a wmoan he met at work, but they don't work at the same place anymore. he had been working there for a whle and she was new, and he was the one everyone decided should set up the welcome drnk thing. And it all went from there. They have a beautiful baby girl now, and are very happy.

but if you don't get the feeling that she feels the same way don't go wading in and mucking up a friendship.

Thanks for your replies.Gee it makes it very hard to see her at work while i'm feeling this way.No-one i work with knows my feelings for her, yet 2 people have come up to me and said we would make a great couple and i should ask her.I am just too afraid of rejection and then having to face her at work.There is a chance one or both of us could be transfered in the next 2 months, (we work for a retail chain store), still in the same city as we have 5 stores in the area, only then could i say something.Of course if someone who i trusted told me she did feel the same i would ask her in a heartbeat.I guess i'm scared to tellher and then be rejected and i'm scared not to tell her in case she does feel the same but is also scared to say something.It's all too stressfull!!

Ha, it's already been dipped over and over and over again.

what do you mean

The best I can suggest is that you just give her lots of compliments and see what her reactions are. If she asks you lots of questions and is flattered by your comments than she probably wants to take things further. A girl who acknowledges a compliment is usually one who is interested, whereas a girl who backs down from one isn't. This is a more subtle way of telling her that you like her and as the other posters have warned, its best to avoid laying all your cards on the table because you will have to keep working with her. Good luck :smile:

I was responding to mahz

Dating in the workplace usually leads to drama.. :confused: