Finding my/your "group" (popularity?)

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hey, im 15 years old and im having trouble finding/fitting in the group i want to be in... i guess you could say im a loner but i have a few friends i hang around at lunch but they arent the group i really want to be in, i wanna be in the popular crowd, it seems like the popular punks/preps/azn gangsters all seem to know eachother well... leaving out the un-popular group ... the card playing group, the anime kids, etc. but i dont play cards and i dont even watch anime... but i cant seem to fit in, i have a few "friends" that are in the punk/azn gangster group but we're not that "close" and like ... err.. this is so frustrating... everyone says "just talk about wut they like" but i dont want to barge in suddenly during lunch and try fitting in ... they'll probably be like "wtf?" ... anyone have any advice for me (and other people that feels like i do) ?? --- edited ---about me: i have a very weird taste in music .. i like everything from linkin park to britney spears - -;so the group i really want to join is the emo group cuz they like every music too ;x

Do barge in and ignore any "wtf?"s you might get. Otherwise, how else can you do it? Well, you could ask someone you know to introduce you (you say, "Introduce me, please"), I suppose.

Well, finding your group, isn't that simple. You just can't walk down the line and go, 'that one looks nice, where do I sign up'... Finding your group, just kinda.. well.. happens.. When I first started HS.. I hung with the stoners and sort ( didn't smoke then ) then a group of the non stoners over there kinda developed our own little group.. It consists of, Smart AP student, Another Smart AP student, a cheerleader, and a smart guy. Other people come and go, but thats the main setup.. then there is me, I'm known as 'stoner', 'pyscho'.

well atleast u belonged to a sorta popular group, see i hang around these losers that play game cards and talk about cartoons and i hate it, i wanna get away from them >__<

ur calling ur frieds losers...some friend you are. If I was them i'd kick u out. go on and take ur self over to those poupler kids.......the ones that might call u a loser behind ur back.

calling friends losers behind their backs.. ..nevermind :angry:

fyi, they're not friends, they're just people i hang around during lunch... i BARELY talk to them

i didnt find any Real Friends until after high school. i know school and being social is important to most people in school, but chances are you are around a bunch of people you probably wouldnt be friends with if you werent in school with them. i suggest joining some clubs in school. i was the president of my school's art club, try drama or some other club that sounds neat in school. plus when you are in clubs you get to go on cool trips and junk. you are more likely to make friends with similar interests when you are involved in school activities. also, just get to know the kids in your classes that are into what you like. if you find some that you like and want to hang out with start inviting them over to your house to hang out or go to the movies or whatever. it also sounds like you are an individual, its much better to have people want to hang out with you than for you to be trying to hang out with them. just keep doing what you are doing and be who you are. as you develop you will start to stand out more and people will want to be >>>Your<<< friend!

In reply to: i didnt find any Real Friends until after high school. i know school and being social is important to most people in school, but chances are you are around a bunch of people you probably wouldnt be friends with if you werent in school with them. It really depends on the way you approach things. If you want to be in the "popular" group for the sake of just being well known, then chances are you will have a bunch of people who really aren't your friends just people you talk to and who talk to you.I was never really in a group, I guess you could call me one of those "background" people. Now that high school is over, I still see my friends quite often and we talk about meeting up and still hanging out during/after college. People like that are your true friends, the ones that want to see you and always have your back.My advice to you bemyquest, be the person you really are. Don't change for sake of fitting in because whether you realize it or not, you do fit in as long as you are your true self. It doesn't matter if your truly a loner, but it seems you want to talk to people. So talk to everyone, don't limit yourself to a clique or group. As long as you be yourself and you don't limit yourself, you will find true friends. It seems "background" people always have the most fun.

Ohhhhhhh. okie

thanx alot everyone!!i let myself go for once and it seems like im making more friends ... just don't be embarassed about wut u like ... im a male and i really like fashion and acting, and it seems like people that like fashion and acting talk to me about it, and its pretty cool... and we decided to take the class together and yeah its pretty cool... so my idea would be to let yourself go! dont be shy!

You know, high school really does suck. Most people try so hard to fit in and such. All it really takes is meeting a few people in a large group, and you basically get sucked in .. in a good way. I met my current boyfriend a year and a half ago at the movies, and ever since then I've been in this huge group of the "outcasts" if that's what you'd like to call it. I don't see the point in being in the "popular" group considering most preppy people are stuck up assholes. As much as people say it, the best thing to do is just be yourself."I'd rather be hated for who I am than loved for who I am not" -Kurt Cobain

The best thing you can do is make some friends. Don't try to befriend whole groups, thats just wierd. Usually people forms groups by becoming friends with a couple people, and those people have friends, so everyone hangs out and eventually it becomes a grroup.Get some good friends, and have them introduce you to their group of friends. Chances are ull like em if you like the original person.

hey dude dont worry about being in the "popular" group, choose friends that have the same interests as you, and eventually you can be in the popular group once many people get to know you. Thats what happend to me.

Hey, the biggest piece of single advice anyone can give you here is to not pick a certain "group", but to just be friends with anyone that you want to. I hang out with people from all different groups, and because I try to be friends with all sorts of people, a lot of people know who I am. Don't limit yourself to one group of people because they have the same interests or whatnot. You'd be surprised, some of the most interesting people may have little to nothing in common with you. Just try giving everyone a fair chance at being your friend. I mean, whats there to lose?

When I first came into high school, i was in the popular group, Me and a few others could say anything and everyone would listen, everyone wanted to hang out with you. But honestly, i didnt belong there. My connections with the popular people started to drop a bit until i was on the lowest level of the popular people. I finally got rid of that group and joined a few others. Mostly because i am obssesed with basketball and they were willing to play bball at lunch, unlike the popular people who only wish to talk or whatever. But, im still unsecure with my social life. We seem like pretty good friends in school but we rarely do anything together away from school. Maybe it is because they dont share as many interests as i do. I think i know how you feel, i still dont feel im in my right group.Just a note on how shallow teenagers are.When i first came into the school, when i was popular, there were some people that would just smile and laugh at anything i said no matter how stupid it was. Now, that im in a slightly lower group, they wont even speak to you.

In high school I was "tolerated" in the popular group. What I mean by that is I could sit with a bunch of them and they'd pretend like I was "one of them". Everytime I did sit in that particular group of people all they did was gossip about each other. I don't know about everyone else but I don't find that very fun.I guess the beginning of the "group" I hung out with was when a few people I knew decided to meet up at lunch during my sophomore year. Soon, friends of friends decided to hang out with us and eventually it became a giant group. We all have similar senses of humor and that's what makes it fun to hang out with them. Most of us still see each other even though we're all out of school now. Similar personality characteristics bond people, so just be yourself and the right people will find you.

if you want to be in a particular group all you have to do is become friends with one person from the group, and theyll get you in. in my school, i guess you can say im part of the "popular" group. but like we're not just preps. we're kinda like a combination of everything. like i dress really cute and stuff and im a cheerleader but me n all of my friends drink and get high. like its not just like ohh we're the preps- we dont do anything bad- we prob do more bad stuff then anyother group. its a weird thing, but if ur accepted by one person in the group, every1 else will accept u too.

lol. When you graduate reality will be knocking on your door.

looking back at high school i laugh, it's funny how certain things seemed so important back then

i just had loadsa friends and wed hang out all the time. and we became our own special lil group . bunch of fuckers...