First I want to say, if you aren't going to say something to help me, don't say anything, sorry I'm so 'selfish', I just don't want some stupid sarcasm/hate/random stuff, I'm in trouvble and I appreciate some straight forward, well thought out and explained answers.Info you may want to know.I'm a very understanding, old fashioned, likable, 17 year old Just senior in high school. I'm the good speaker, 30 on my ACT, Army officer wannabe, with a future, and I tend to get along very easily with girls.I have what appear to be one/three problems. FIrst, I have a girl, whom I like a great deal, a LOT, (she's a sophomore) and I want to do NOTHING to hurt her. I moved away from her a long time ago, but we've decided, that now that we've both found out we like one another, we have a long distance relationship. 1200 miles.ok, well, as an adolescent boy, I apparently have some specific 'needs' that she can't quite quench, which lead me to continually cyber with another girl (who also is a sophomore). I hate that I do it, but can't seem to stop. (believe me, it's not that I'm a jerk, I feel REALLY bad, sometimes physically sick that I'm doing this when I'm already dating a girl I care for)well, adding ON to that problem, My GF said, since we're so far away, and obviously, I'm going to want a date to prom...prom is kinda a big deal....and that we could have a kiinda open relationship. Well, I was pretty sure I wouldn't be with anyone but her during this time, EXCEPT during prom, which was the whole reason for the open relationship thing. Well, now I'm seeing this other girl. She's a sophomore (again). Yet she appears to be as interested in physical contact as I am, but I'm already worried about the fact I can't seem to stop it with a girl over the net, and now I've got a girl whom I can actually be with, and this is driving me crazy. She likes me so much, and I don'tw ant to hurt her, or ruin our friendsthip, there HAS to be a way out of this without some sort of "bull in a mirror shop" scenario. I'm friends with her and want to stay that way, (btw, if you're thinking, no, we don't go all the way, we're both good little christians, and we respect that we should not have sex until engagement. So to say, we tend to hold off at showers and oral)[sorry I'm so blunt, but no beating around the bush, I need help]So to summarize: I have one girl 1200 miles away who agrees to me having a relationship, but I like about 10/10I have one girl that I use to let off the sexual stress of my hormones over the netI have one here at home whom I can physically interact with, but I don't want to because I really want to just be monogomous with my one 1200 miles away.THis is all making me sorta ill at ease with everything, and I need out. What do I do? What do I say? Argh... I hate this. It eats me up inside...I asked a friend of mine, but she just said "ooo! So Scotty's a playa!" and that didn't help.Signed: Sleepless in Seattle (not really, but I thought that was witty)thanks in advance.
I need some fast, important answers.
Well one of your problems is easily solved, the cyber girl, just ditch her. It doesn't sound like you have any emotional attachment to her, so it should be easy. Now these other two girls is where your problems lies (obivously).
We can't tell you exactly what to do, but continuing with both of them is not an option. So basically you have a decision on your hands. I don't know how you feel for each of these girls, but I'll try to give you some ideas and ways of looking at things to help you with your decision.
As you had said, if you really love this girl 1200 miles away I would have thought you would stay loyal to her, which you haven't. It's understandable that you have urges to be with someone physically. The question you really have to ask yourself is which one you would pick if you could spend the same amount of time (in person) which each of them, who would you choose. If it is the one you see physically, cut it off with the long distance girl. If you would choose the long distance girl then it's a whole diffent kettle of fish...
Is there an actual chance that you guys could be together? Are you willing to wait a month, a year, 3 years, etc. until you can be with this girl? And do you think she would do the same for you since she suggested an "open" relationship?
If you guys do decide to go on a serious long distance relationship you shouldn't see other people. You will need to know when you two can finally be together, otherwise it will just seem like an endless wait.
So yea... To sum it all up: Ditch the internet girl, pick which one you want to be with out of the other two, break it up with the other one.
It's a tough place to be in mate, best of luck to you.
"Believe those who are seeking the truth; doubt those who find it"
the girl on the net I'm good friend's with, but if I asked her to cut off the cybering, she'd understand, she's cool like that, so I think that problem is solved.The thing is I like the girl from far away much more than the close one. The whole reason I'm trying to break it all off is because I want to be loyal to the far away one, so like you said, I would stay loyal? I'm fixing it to be that way.as for the time limit, I'm seeing her in June, and she'll live only a few miles from the college I'm applied to. (I'm pretty much garenteed to go to it) so we will be seeing eachother in one year. She's agreed to wait, but she did the open thing for me. (and as we all know, a woman saying an open relationship is ok if you want it, is a death sentence, which is why I'm trying to fix it all)I figure I'll be able to get out of it with the near one if I slowly explain it to her, cause she knows about the long distance one, and I told her I didn't know how I might be with all this.
Well, if you find a girl in the mean time that you like more than the one 1,200 miles away, then go for it. The 1,200 mile away one will understand. But, if that doesn't happen then just wait for the far away one. Also, you really need to decide if you like the close one or not. That will help you greatly.
To the window! To the wall, to the wall!0_o