I was just looking for advice, or if someone else has ever been in a situation I have been in.
I am in a relationship, one that far exceeds any physical attraction that I could have ever expected it to go. Needless to say, I'm in love. Anywho.
I have constantly been able to get myself off in a matter of minutes when looking at porn. When I'm by myself and I have to imagine something, it takes me more like 10-20. I feel like I'm running a marathon.
Anyway, I've recently become intimate for basically one of the first times in my life. However, hand jobs and blow jobs given to me by my significant other doesn't do anything for me. I usually have to get myself to a point and then give my co-pilot the wheel. That can take up to 20 mins. Boring right?
I mean I know I have stamina when it comes to not coming, but I am afraid of a sensitivity issue. I don't know what it is that allows me to get off faster to watching porn, rather than when I am actually involved with being intimate with someone.
I mean when we talk or even hold hands, I can get an erection really fast, and it will stay there forever (so it's not a problem of gettin it up, usually there's more so of a problem of getting it down). I just don't know if I am really just desensitized, or there's something psychological going on behind the scenes.
I feel terrible about the situation because I am really in love, but I don't want this problem to hinder anything. Is there any advice that anyone could give me?
Sensitivity Issue or Rather one of the Mind?
Welcome to A2A, smgfanatic. I hope you'll find, as I did, that there are a lot of good people here who are ready and willing to help.
You are getting an erection and that's good, so we know everything's working. It's not unusual that a guy doesn't get off with a blowjob or handjob from his girl. You get yourself off so much easier because you know exactly the rate, how tight you like it, etc. She doesn't. You don't indicate how old you two are, and it's certainly true that she doesn't know your needs in particular, but it's also possible that she's not aware of guy's needs in general. You have to teach her.
Just give the relationship time and things will be alright. In a way you're lucky. Most guys are too quick and things are over too soon. Enjoy how long you can last; don't stress over it. I'm sure she's enjoying every minute of it.
I add my welcome too. As readytogo pointed out, you don't have the same control over firmness of grip, speed, etc when someone else does it as when you do it. Very many guys have difficulty cumming by means of a blow job or hand job.
In addition, I think early in the relationship, being in love can be actually off-putting for sex. The romantic emotions tend to overshadow the erotic.
To me porn is something that I have to be quick at getting off because of so many other distractions around me. I dont want to be disturbed by telephone, kids talking to me behind the closed door ect. I usualy wait for the house to be empty or everyone is sleeping. Then I have more time, otherwise it's a quickie. Once you start weening off porn alittle it may become easier to have that awesome feeling and connection with your girlfriend. You have to tell her nicely exactly how you like it, and if she is willing to take the time you also have to return the favour doing it the way she wants it done on herself.
This Shits The Shit