Ok, here's the deal: I just turned 19 some days ago. So anyway, when I go somewhere with my mom, like a store or something, she may touch my face and tell me something's wrong with it while I'm talking to the clerk. I find it embarrassing and unpleasant. And she keeps giving hints as to what I should ask the assistant and so on, but when I ask her to stand near me and help me sort things out (say, about choosing a cell phone), she refuses to do so. But she will keep dropping those hints while I'm leading that conversation with the officer.Do you think that's ok? How should I react?
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Mom correcting me in public
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I suggest that you point this out to her. She is trying to help you but without making it seem like she is, and she is failing miserably. Point this out to her, tell her that her help is welcome or not, whichever you feel.
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Parents tend to have an image of you from when you were about four still in their head. Some guys grow beards to try to shake that off, but even that is not guaranteed to work with the most determined of mothers.
The most effective thing is to move out of home when you can. It's good for you, and good for your mother's education too.
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My parents were like that so I dont them straight they were not to do that anymore. Whenever they let slip and do do anything like that I give them no quarter and just immediately express to them how much it displeases me right infront of everyone, causing them much embarressment.
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Thanks to all of you for your advice. As for telling her, well, I HAVE tried, but she'll be like, "Well, you were doing this and that wrong/ This and that was wrong with your appearance", so just telling doesn't seem to change things.I guess, the most reasonable thing would be moving out, but that won't happen anytime soon. The funny thing is, my Grandma (her mom) is the same way about her - needs to know where mom went, what she is doing, etc. Mom is sometimes like a teenager trying to conceal what she spent her money on, etc. (And grandma doesn't live with us).
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Be calm and tell her you would not like her to do that and try to be in your shoes and ask her how you feel. It also always helps when doing this to in a way be on her side and not "against her" as this helps with conflict when talking to her.
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Unfortunately, it will probably be hard for your mom to change. Everytime she does it, point it out that."Mom, I don't appreciate it when you try to correct me in public. If you wait until we're somewhere private, I will be more focused on what you're telling me and not feel like your setting me up for public mockery."It took a while for my parents to respect me as an adult. I had to prove myself, which I finally feel like I did at 17. Moving out on my own in a city 300 miles away sealed the deal.I just wanted to let you know about my experience with this. I hope it helps.
