What should I do with her?

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Hey, my friend has got herself into a situation with a lad and I'm not quite sure how to advise her. She has been absolutely crazy about this lad for a few years, she's 17 he's 25. She has gone as far as to say she loves him. He has a girlfriend. Ok last year she kissed him one night she was out, she told me she knew it wasn't the right thing to do but she couldn't stop herself. Yeah I thought that was it until a few months ago when they were both drunk she ended going to his house and giving him a blowjob. His girlfriend was in Germany at the time. Now he's blowing hot and cold, sometimes he talks to her, sometimes he ignores her and it's getting her down, she says she wants to be his friend but I can't see that happening, especially as she is friends with his girlfriend, I mean that's got to be awkward. Basically, I don't know what to say to help her, I've told her that he is obviously an idiot but her feelings are too strong for her to just get over him, he's best friends with her older sister and she surely knows that she and him will never be together??

you need to tell her to leave him alone. That's very wrong for her to mess and fool around with him when he has a girlfriend. she's the one being the idiot and that's really bad that she's doing that. she's too young anyway. unless he breaks up with his gf she ought to leave him alone. it's not right to his gf.

I know, I'm sick of telling her that it' wrong but she can't seem to stop. What really gets me is seeing him looking all loved up with his girlfriend and somehow she can actually talk to her.I don't know how she can look her in the eye. The thing is, she's done it before. She done the exact same thing to our friends brother, who also has a girlfriend AND a baby and I'm the only one who knows about that, she's been with another friends ex boyfriend just after they split up too. She's my friend but I'm sick of her making an idiot of herself I know it's all going to come out someday and cause a lot of trouble.

wow man ok then that's really no good and I doubt she cares for her friend's if shecontines to do that.

Yeah your right she makes me so mad sometimes...

You really just have to sit her down and tell her how stupid and selfish she is being. Explain to her that she is trying to break up two people who are perfectly happy together. She is pretty much a complete bitch if she doesn't have a problem with that.

Ahhhhhh!!!!!!!!! I've told her many, many, MANY times but all I'm getting back is "but I really care about him, I think I love him" I'm left sitting there like an eejit (love that word )trying to be an understanding friend when I really want to start giving out to her mother-style...but then I'd get the "you don't understand" well I'm trying to understand but to me she's being stupid and needs a bit of cop on. She better not even try anything with my man, well she probably wouldn't because she knows I'd kill her...ok not literally but ya get the gist...

But does she not realise that his girlfriend loves him and he loves her back? I'm sorry but I don't see any other way around it, give out shit to her! Being a good friend involves telling them when they are wrong, even in a way that hurts them. If you need to, say it in a way that shows that you are saying it for her benefit and that you're on her side, but be forceful and stop her. She is trying to ruin some girl's relationship, it could be you or someone close to you. And when she doesn't get her way this time, it might be you next! And eejit is a great word!

she "thinks" she loves him. wow. how coincidental. if she "loved" him she would care enough to leave him be and make his own decision. don't try to understand because she's doing it based on looks.

Haha I think I got the eejit thing from watching too much father ted, I am known as Dougal! Yeah giving out shit to her seems like the best option, before Saturday night when I know she's going to be all over him. Ok I'm going to just tell her like it is because no body else is going to, might wait till after Wednesday when we are free from the social like killer aka the leaving. Which reminds me, I should be doing trigonometry now instead of ranting about her!

Ah screw trigonometry! The Leaving isn't important... unless you want to have a life next year, of course. And there is no such thing as too much Father Ted!

I do not want to repeat, I want to be doing nursing in DCU this time next year, although I have a place in Cavan College for a PLC course in nursing studies in case I don't get the points.

You're coming to Dublin? Shedding your cultchie roots and coming to the city of bright lights and moving stairs?

Bloody culchie roots are impossible to get rid of, I won't be adopting a D4 accent when I get up there..

Ahhh stupid avatar is a bit fuzzy... :angry:

Oh, no chance of that. DCU is North Side, D4 is South. Don't go South, for the love of god! Its bad enough that I'm going to IADT in Dun Laoghaire. shudders

Shows how much I know about the city of bright lights and moving stairs! Damn them moving stairs, they're evil I tells yas....they're mission, to impale any living creature and show no remorse....

Well it works both ways, sheep scare the living b*jaysus out of me!!

Haha yeah I'm used to them, me living in a bog and all....my house was a two storey befor it sank-FACT. Right I'm getting off this thing to do that trigonometry! Good luck tomorrow

You too! And good luck with the rest of the exams, I hope you have a good party planned for when they're over! 6 years to learn everything, one night to forget it all!