Distrust...hatred?

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First off, to those that predicted the break up of my relationship with my GF back in December; I owe you a beer...Anyways, back story: Since I was 18 (22 now) I dated this one girl (First one I dated seriously) and believed she was the one; I put everything into it; needless to say, we broke up. (In January of this year actually) She said you needed time to herself, I told her she had three months to decide. I knew it was over...but still, I talked to her in April (She had been leading me on, talking to me quite a bit in a positive manner beforehand) and got confirmation that our relationship was truly dead anyways...So, I'm trying to move on with life; hell, even start casually dating again...but I can't help but feel as though she was the only one I was going to have. Secondly, I don't feel I can trust women as a whole either, and I've even gone so far as to begin to hate the female gender (Regarding trust issues, of which my ex violated plenty of times)What in the hell can I do to stop the pain and prevent myself from becoming a completely distrusting woman-hater?

Don't let one bad experience sour you to the whole gender.I have had simular experiences,and have had women just totally screw me over,but just like with both genders you have good and bad.I have a wonderful wife I've been with for twenty years.I completely trust her.You are still young and you have the rest of your life to meet that special someone.So enjoy being single ,date around eventually you will meet the one.

Yo!listen up!if you want to start dating again, you need to become emtpy inside for now. it is like if you are a doctor, if you want to treat that patient as best as possible, simply don't give a damn about the patient. simply start dating! ask any girl out, and have just a good time, and keep it casual, and then toss her around if you like. be straight forward. your first mistake was thinking that she was the one. you should never think she is the one. it blinds you. you continue to live in this relationship way beyond what it deserved because you deceived yourself until you were in love. it is part of our nature that the nessesity thriumphs before cool heads. don't be needy, and be independent of your partner so you aren't forced to make this false facade of reality. wake up! bro!simply take it simple. and never think she is the one or that is when nessesity thriumps. it is in your hands! grasp it, and don't let go this opportunity go! i am counting on success!

Now to be fair we had a REALLY good 3 year run; the trouble didn't start until just after the third year; so indeed at the time there was no need to doubt it. We truly were in love; but things from her past came up; she didn't want psychological counseling, she turned to booze...I tried to push her into getting help, but instead she fought back against me; I was a target for her sharp man-hating ways (I took the place of her dead-beat father, also the small number of those people who abused or raped her) Last time I was with her she was getting drunk pretty much every night, dropped out of school etc etc.I might start dating again, I've shredded all of the old one's photos, letters, gifts etc (Except the watch; I'm wearing that till it dies, lol) I just need to burn them all to ashes now.

It is still fresh, and still painful. In time that will subside. Took me four years to trust again. My eyes are so wide open for red flags it isn't even funny. I tried before I was ready, to be in a serious relationship, and it fell apart rapidly.Time will heal, and in the mean time, make female friends, maybe not date so much as be friends with women so that you don't have all the negativity that went with your relationship break up blaring in your face, hopefully you will create some good female memories too!There are good and bad in both genders. Don't judge us all because of one.

Understood, but experience speaks louder than common-sense (This is true for everyone, really) I've got a couple female friends; I'm SLOWLY rebuilding, but it ain't easy.

*hugs*

I didn't say it was easy. And waiting on ol' Father Time, is a real pain in the arse.

Experience does speak louder than common sense, just do your best to listen to the common sense, and eventually it will become experiences. Good days lie ahead.

>>>"...but experience speaks louder than common-sense..."

Well how about reason then. Your a smart guy you know one person doesn't represent a hole race or in this case gender. It's readily apparent by your posts that you know relegating a whole gender to bitchdom based on your dealings with one person is counterproductive to your longterm happiness. Don't let emotion limit itself by proscribing when, where, how and with who your going to feel mirth and hopefulness. So, feel what you what to feel about the situation, work through the stages of grief over a relationship ended, but keep your wits about you and work at dismissing these irrational feeling as best you can and as soon as you can.

lol I guess I should be careful what I wish for. Not only have I kept a small dating regime going with a girl I met in Feb, I met one girl through a mutual friend who has since sought me out; going out with her hopefully this week...and then another date with another girl next week.I dunno how I set myself up with this one; frankly I feel a little overwhelmed, lol. I guess the point of this message is to say that dating seems to be helping quite a bit, I've stopped feeling sorry for myself and I've even begun to forget about my ex.Regardless of how all this stuff turns out, life is getting better. Thanks everyone