Help me before it's too late.

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I came back bEcause I'm a teenage girl crying for help. Do I get help? No I don't. I was sexualy abused by this guy who made my life hell. He fucking hit me after I press charges. He told me it was bullshit that I would lie to the cops. He told I enjoy him bursing my breast. He said I enjoy him trying to almost rape me. I didn't enjoy that shit. The night after I press charges I overdose on oxy cotton. I did try to kill myself. I have for months after it happen. My parents didn't give a fuck about me or about what happen to me. My mom told me I was lying and I'm the one who going to end up in jail. I have been taken away by a social worker. I haven't been home in a month. I live with a friend of mine but he can't support me anymore. He really wish he could but he lost his job and is try to find one. But why won't anyone help me?

I'm glad that you found A2A, Lax. Here you'll find a lot of nice people who do care about you. I read your other posts and see that you've got some great life plans!! Is this your senior year coming up?

Yes it is. I have a 8 classes 2 sicence 2 maths 2 English Latin 2 and gov't. Last night I was hurt. But I need help.

What happened last night???Please don't go:(.Reply to my email.

He is afraid. I know it sounds ...ridicules but he's realizing he's losing the control and may get into a assload of trouble. I know right now your probably thinking how the hell can that be. lol I did that. It took me 8 years of therapy to just begin to understand.

I don't know what to say about your parents. Mine weren't like that. Though my dad did go threw denial that I was trying to kill myself. Another thing I'm just getting to understand in therapy. My dad's denial looked a lot like anger and I swore that he hated me.

People here can help you (more than you think).

A social worker may be able to replace you. But I wonder if it's your mind telling your friend can't help. A mind full of pain can lie to you way to easily.

See what still makes me mad is that the school didn't do shit to him. They toldhim to stay away from me. Why can't they do anything? They made me move out of thebio class that I had an A in. Why couldn't they move him. Nobody would listen to me. When I had to eat lunch alone that's when I lost it. I told the head guy that he doesn't know how to run a school and that this is bullshit that he would let this kid hurt me everyday. I came to school in feb with a broken cheek. My chem teacher flipped out he wouldn't let me leave till I told him what happen. I was hit by a lacrosse ball. He thought the kid hit me. That kid did hit me and I black out. I should never fight again. But why won't people understand what happen to you and that you need someone?

I'm really sorry your hurt, I'm sorry that he did that to you and it isn't right!! He should be punished. but that's not likely.I have read all of your post plus all of your emails to me that I will not share. You keep saying Nobody will help you! That Nobody cares. That the school won't do anything. That nobody is listening to you.I will ask you the same question my therapist and counselor asked me for over a year after I was raped as a young teen.You keep saying Nobody will help you... What do you want done? What will make you feel like you are being helped by someone????You keep saying that Nobody cares. What do you need done so you will feel that you are cared about??? Who needs to do this for you? Your friends, Your Parents? the Police???You keep saying that the school won't do anything. What do you think they should do? They have laws that protect the students, even when they do bad things. When I went to school, if you got in trouble, you went to the principal's office, dropped your pants and you received hard swats on your ass for being a bad. if that happened today the parents would sue the school and the principal!I want you to think about these questions and answer them the best way you can WITHOUT being emotional. I know it sounds callous and i'm sorry. but at the end of the day, you have to be able to understand what it is exactly that you think will make this whole tragedy manageable for you. My therapist and counselor showed me that you have to de-sensitize yourself from the equation to understand what you need to allow you to move forward.YOU WILL NEVER GET OVER THIS. IT'S GONNA BE WITH YOU FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE!!!!The only thing that can happen in a good way, is that you learn and understand that what he did wasn't your fault. It wasn't because of anything you did. But you NEED to understand what happened to you and you can learn to live with it. It will take you a long, long time to ever trust anyone again, but it's possible. There are many people on this board who were sexually abused , or raped who have their own story. you should talk to each of them ask them to send you a PM so you can talk about it when you want to and privately. You need this privacy. It doesn't have to be so public. But know this... What worked for us won't work for you. You will need to carve your own path thru this mess. We will be here to hold your hand when you're scare or need a shoulder but we CAN'T make it better for you. ONLY YOU CAN DO THAT>This is my personal opinion and it was what I have learned after 25 years of weekly therapy and counselingBelieve it or not Katie, It will become better over time. The first step is to honestly answer the questions and then move forward from there.We're here even if you don't think so...

I came up with answer about the school. They could have placed him where the bad kids go. We have a school just for kids who have charges press against them or just got out jail. These are huge charges and he harass me everyday. There is no emotial behind this.

If anyone who ever been raped or sexualy abused please pm me.

okay... Then how do we go about getting her transfered? This can be done by court order as they won't just do it because you said he's doing these things. I know he is, but what legal proof does the school have that these things happened? Has he been convicted of the alleged crime? was he arrested? did you have a medical report written after it happened? were photographs taken? was it legally documented?These are all the things they need in order to transfer him to another school. the local laws protect him and so does the school... I'm not trying to be an ass Katie... but I am being truthful. Okay honey?

It could be on cam. I wrote down what he said to me. Does that count? The cops have all the other stuff and no we are waiting to go to court.

What he did to you could be on cam??? god i hope it is so his ass can be punished.I wish I could be there right beside you.R u on msn right now? I didnt get an invite from you??

Yeah my school has 96 cams. One of them should have got it. I'm on I sent it.

some people are not going to believe you. They will see… in time they will see. I know it’s hard, frustrating and scary. Fuck the school and those that done believe. Go to the police, To your social worker, hell tell your doctor. Even though I know it’s easer said than done. Telling is harder than I can explain.

I have gone to the cops. It is really hard. Do you think you can pm me?

i have been both. . My abuser sent a pack after me (at school). She was pissed i told. Told about it but left out an important part - she did it and allowed them to do it to me. She was outraged and my school bullies turned into another gang rape. .. On school grounds. Nothing was done to them but I blame myself for that. I told they jumped me and let anyone and every one assume I meant beat me up. Still… all they got was a few days supetion. Didn’t; matter tho my parents pulled me out of school cus I was a emotional mess. A year later she was arrested when I told about the abuse. It was a member here that helped me see that it was in my best interest to tell all of it. I’ve been threw court… I’ve been threw doctors and doctors and therapists. The tests, questions, even hiding evidence (at the time I didn’t understand it would be against her not me)… The hell will last for years……. But finally at 22 I can smile every day and enjoy myself. I want you to go to my art web site ( I’m redoing it so it’s un finished. But I want you to read the last page (click the pain link). Fuck I’m fuckigng crying… I hate this shit. http://calebsart.webs.com/

what counts is his handwriting (if he sent you a note or somthing) he said / she said don't work. images , tapes, opintment books, witness... My ssi ter got the book threw at her becouse I knew whare she hid her porn, our porn (when i say our i mean me starring in it) her books and her drugs. That wasn;t all of it either... the pictures they took of me and my junk... they documented every scare, bruse and cut. Had a big brus on my back wher eshe rammed me into a cabent doornob in my back. ..... yea i have to stop now.

Thanks for sharing that with me. I'm sorry I made you cry. I might be transfering.

you ddi not make me cry - pain did.

I am going to get my hands on the tapes.