im thirteen) Well hi another thing i wanted to say was that, i had a grandfather that wasnt just my grandfather e was my hero, well anyway about a month and a half ago he asked me to travel 3/4 of the world around to stay with him at his hosue in bankok thialand, i did so, while i was there everythng was fine for about 2 weeks. well on may 14 my grandfather woke up at 5 am.. ( long before me) and went to play golf with his freinds, While he was gone my step grandmother decided to take me to mae sai a city about 50 miles away from chiang ria where he actually lived. blah blah blah.. But on our way home my grandfather called and he was moaning and he couldnt talk.so we drove home a hundred miles an hour home. Where as i began to get out of the car my grandmother began to scream dont go in the house, well my grandfather had literally left minutes before we arrived in a rusty old pickup truck with a neighbor to the hospital. Well i ran into the house, He had a Very larg luxurious home, wherei loved to be more thaan my own home, and there i saw his beuatiful home ransacked and my grandfathers glasses,keys,hat and blood on the floor. Everyone kept telling me he is ok,he is just in the hospital. Well later that day i was forced to go stay with my grandfather's best freinds house... ( ppl i had never met, 40,000 miles away from my home ) i had never been more scared in my entire life, i was stranded more than half a world away from my home, And my (step grandmother, who i loved alot was taken into police custody for questioning. Those things i saw at that house, and the fact that i was never able to say goodbye to somebody that i always have and alwaysd will look up to more than anybody in my entire family, Then i tred to look on the brigth side, " hey, i told myself they said he was in a docters aremsm, he'll be ok...... later on that night i found out he had died 8 hours before, ten minutes before he even reached the fucking hospital. and the night before me and him where playing around and he said to me " since imma pay for your collage i hope im around when ur twenty to kick your butt when your 20" when those ppl told me he was dead becuase his lungs collapsed and his body filled with bodily fulids and he slowly died of suffixiation. those words replayed over and over and over agin in my head, and now 2 weeks after im bak, its like they never even stop. i dream all the time about those things i saw that night, and i felt that my step grandma was the only thing i had left of him, 3 days ago i found out that she had hired a hittman and paid him close to 30,000 american daller, you can buy a average size house in thialand for that much. So now not only to i feel tricked since i was part of her aliby, she had planned it all, but i feel the pain of mourning my hero and betrayed. i dont and i dont think i will ever trust anyone again, and i keep hereing and seeing my grandfather, a few days ago i was stareing at the wall and then i started to have a conversation with my grandfather, he was standing right in frobnt of me, and then i had a little jolt like you do when you have been stareing at something then you come out of it and the clock had move almost 45 minutes ahead, all the terrible things are bombarding my mind, i wasnt it to stop but i dont know what to do, lately i have no drive at all whatsoever to be around ppl really or go outside or even let the light in my room.
MURDER IN THE FAMILY
HUGS N CUDDLES::
Sweet Angel From Heaven * smiles*
What a terrible, terrible thing to have happened to you and your grandfather, Frog. This must be very hard to take.
I can only tell you that while there will be a long period of anguish, and times when you go through all sorts of emotions and times when you don't know what to feel, that will gradually fade. You'll gradually come to terms with it and accept it as something bad that happened.
Not having any drive and not wanting to be around people or go outside or turn the light on or do anything is typical of depression, and after what you've been through it's not surprising that you are depressed at the moment. It's part of the Post-Traumatic Syndrome. Try not to let it get complete hold of you - push yourself a bit to turn on the light, to get outside, to try to do at least one thing each day.
Being betrayed like that must be one of the worst things to bear.
In reply to:
Being betrayed like that must be one of the worst things to bear
Still searching ...