Hey,As the title says, my gf is travelling around Australia by herself, for 4-6 months leaving around Christmas time this year.We are yet to fully talk about it, but I am getting very apprehensive about it. Simply put, I don't want her to go even though I want her to enjoy herself.Originally the both of us were planning to go travelling in our gap years, but unfortunately I was unable to find a job quick enough (fucking credit crash) and she's managed to get one fast as well as gain considerable investment from her parents (whom have bought her tickets). Though I swear she's overworking herself too, she's only contracted to work 20 hours but she works near double that in overtime to gain money for her trip, this of course leaves hardly any time for us two to spend together, and usually results in her being constantly tired, stressed and albeit slightly irritable. That is a different topic though.The problem is, I don't know how to go about it. 4-6 months is a long time and we've only been going out for 5 or so months beforehand. I don't like the idea of such a distance between us two, where we are unable to have each others company. And I certainly do not like the idea of her travelling by herself in a faraway country for 4 fucking months! Though I do not want to admit that to her as I'm not normally a protective/jealous person, even though the prior sentences may prove otherwise.Both of us have been dancing around the subject without hitting it straight on, because I think we both know the result won't be a good one. But I love her too much to see this relationship disintegrate.She already told me once, she was considering to scupper her plans because she doesn't want to leave me, her friends and family behind, but i insisted she does as it is what she wanted to do for ages. I sorta hit a brick wall here, and generally the only advice I've been given is '4 months is a long time, she'll get bored of it quickly and get back soon enough'. However, I do not think this will be the case as she has been going on about Australia for ages, and has spent the last month or so planning the journey to a fine detail, even planning as far as to upgrade her return ticket with its 4 month cap(in which she can fly home at any time during that period)to a ticket with a 6 month cap.I pretty much do not know what to do or say. I know the best thing is to talk, but I am afraid things'll just go wrong.
-
Gf travelling to australia for 4-6 months
-
Let her go. If she stayed with you and missed the trip of a lifetime because of you all that would lead to is her resenting you in the long run.You have two choices support her in living her dreams, more than likely she'll be back anyway. Or, stand in the way of her dreams and have her hold it against you always.
-
Hey, thanks for replyingI do not intend to stop her going on her trip.But I do not know how i'm going to cope with 4 months or longer. What do i say to her about us, and realistically what is going to happen out of this? Will 4 months be too long?I've never been in a long distance relationship before, how does that even go about?I think i'm ranting more than asking a valid question here.I know we need to talk about this about what we are going to do. But I need some sort of expectation or maybe some confidence to back myself up.
-
I have traveled abroad for 3-4 months for work and I didn't go looking for someone to bang. We spoke on the phone several times a week and we even used our computer webcams and watch each other play with ourselves until we came. It was quite fun actually. Why do you assume she's gonna find someone to have sex with her while she is gone? Is that what you're afraid that you are going to do while she is gone? I'm not trying to be disrespectful, just asking you an honest question. You're human, you might be co-dependent and super horny...
Just wondering -
I don't think I'd listen to this advice it sounded ok and all, but ehh trip of the lifetime. Australia isn't that great =/
-
haha nah I'm not assuming anything about either of us being unfaithful, she's not that sort of person I hope. And i know i definitely won't, having been cheated on in the past. And anyway, if super horny i always got my left and right... I'm more concerned about the stress of not seeing one another for so long and her being so far away by herself. And how we are going to survive as a couple. She's recently told me she's managed to get on a program where she stays and works at a farm, which immediately puts two alarms in my head1. Staying with a random group of people in the outback (Texas chain saw massacre anyone)2. Having no internet/phone(?) to communicate with.So that's something to be worried about.Though the main thing I'm worried about the next few months, when we more or less are going to be forced to talk about this trip and us. I don't know what to expect nor to aim for to get the best deal outta this trip.
-
"1. Staying with a random group of people in the outback (Texas chain saw massacre anyone)"If it's a program the people are vetted and more than likely have to meet some qualifications and also this is more than likely not their first time hosting people. In all honesty that's probably putting her in a safer situation than being an anonymous guest in a hotel where the predators are circling weighting to find a victim. By staying with people who are part of a program and now the area they can tell her what to look out for and what to avoid and thereby help keep her safer.>>>"2. Having no internet/phone(?) to communicate with."I don't imagine that would be the case but if your really worried about it get her a sat-phone as gift to take on her trip. Get an address and send her cards and notes if nothing else. It's good way to show someone you care and keep the relationship vital.This isn't really a long distance relationship because there is an end to separation in sight. No one is going to have to move no one is going to have to uproot their life. Her home is where she is at now and where she will return to.
-
"1. Staying with a random group of people in the outback (Texas chain saw massacre anyone)"
Actually, i think you mean Wolf creek that was kinda sorta based on true events.
I think you should avoid seeing that movie though, not because it will make you worry, but just because it sucked, everyone should avoid seeing that piece of shit.
-
I have to agree with TheFallenLight, New Zealand and the US have more natural variety, Europe has far more historical architecture, Asia gives a much bigger cultural jolt. Perhaps she'll get tired of it earlier - especially as life on a farm is hard and dull.If the place she is staying is described as a 'farm', it is not in the outback. The outback is too arid to support farms: it has 'stations', which are huge tracts of arid scrubland where beef cattle roam free and are rounded up by helicopter. Workers on outback stations are known as jackaroos if male, jillaroos if female, and it is indeed an isolated life. Farms are in less isolated areas - there will certainly be a phone (landline at least, but usually there is also mobile/cell coverage), and almost certainly internet (though probably only dial-up).
-
Not to bring you down but she will probably cheat on you at least once when she is drunk. I spent a lot of time traveling and I've met lots of girls who had boyfriends who they wouldn't shut the fuck up about, had pictures, talked about getting married when they returned, etc. Then they'd get drunk and get railed out by some frat boy, alpha male type. One of my friends had his girlfriend fuck around on him with some guy who she knew he hated while he was in fucking IRAQ of all places getting shot at. That's life, women are ho's plain and simple, stick to porn can't do you wrong.
-
I may as well post an update here.She left on boxing day, been about a week now and we're sending daily emails to one another. Haven't called her yet due to her being on a mountain somewhere without signal, but it sounds like she's having a good time. I however am not. I've had on and off breakdowns i.e missing her and all that and it doesn't help I've been laid off on new years day so now I have no job and little to no chance of meeting her out there.And even thought white lines comes across as a misogynistic bell end, pretty much what he describes is my biggest fear, her cheating on me drunkenly with some douchebag surfer dude. Even though I doubt she'll be the type to but she is a bad drunk :S. As well as the thought that we may not survive the full length of her trip. Furthermore, reading up on backpacking i was given the brief description of it as a time of 'drinking and fucking', the aussies being the worst culprits, and the rather depressing statistic that 70% of travellers to australia gain a sexual partner.It doesn't help that I want her to be miserable and come back, but I am holding my tongue and not saying anything to make her feel bad, i don't want to ruin this trip for her. Which pretty much is the only thing I can do right now.
-
As someone who has done a fair bit of backpacking (and a bit more to come soon), I can assure you that that is largely a myth. For most backpackers, it's just an affordable way to travel, with the added advantage that you get more local colour by staying in cheap places, using local public transport, and so on. Backpacker hostels, with their dormitories, are no place for sex!You need to try to trust her. Healthy relationships need it.
-
Yeah, you're pretty much right about the Australians. All one of them has to do is go up to her, do the whole Aussie accent thing while talking about some platypus in the billabong and she'll instantly get all wet. Sorry bro, it's the home front curse. Italians and eurotrash are even worse. They go up to American tourist girls and do their whole gay accent and they of course follow them back to some hostel where they will be murdered for a rich businessman's amusement.Oh yeah and I spent some time in hostels too my first trip abroad and when I didn't get a private room I would almost always have to put up with some couple in one of the single bunk beds hooking up.
-
I know I need to trust her, I just can't get comfortable with the idea of her being away by herself. Guessing the best way is to explain my fears to her, and through that maybe secure my insecurities and all. Or just wait it out, I think I may still be getting used to not being with her, and the loss of my job probably didn't help either.But I appreciate all the help, I'm trying not to listen to some of the more negative things. Cos I know its a load of shit, just by judging his character.
-
Is it a load of shit? Tell yourself whatever you need to help you sleep at night brah.Listen bro, you need to stop being so pussywhipped. Use this as an opportunity. She's gonna she sluttin' it up down under so go out, get drunk, go to some strip clubs, choke some hookers, just have fun. All seriousness though, I don't know your girlfriend but let me just tell you I spent a LOT of time traveling and nearly every girl I met had a "boyfriend" or even a "fiance" back stateside and sooner or later they realize how far 7,000 miles really is and whatever they do there might not matter. Now I don't know what your girlfriend looks like but if she isn't attractive maybe you can rest easy. That's why those Orthodox Jews marry ugly women and make them shave their heads and wear sackcloth, so they know that they didn't have a chance in hell with any other man and therefore nothing to lose sleep over.I personally slept with a girl from Massachusetts that I met in Tel Aviv and earlier that evening she was telling her friend she would never cheat on her boyfriend. I witnessed it happen at least a hundred times as well with other girls. Just mentally be prepared that she might cheat on you.