hey guys....i am having a difficult time in my life right now, i think i am on the verge of being depressed due to being lonely..i'll try to keep it short....i don't really have any friends right now, i just came out of a 4 year relationship with a girl and we spent all our time together.. it was actually really great but now she's gone and found another and we are in the "no contact" phase of our relationship because it hurts me too much to see her especially with another man... on top of this she has a son whom i love very much and who i don't get to see either.....so i find myself mostly alone.. i have family of course but they are just a mere phone call, not really anyone to hang out with.....i'm not sure how this happened to me... i have a great job, a nice house, a nice dog and a motorcycle but yet i feel so empty and alone... like this weekend, nothing to do with anyone the whole weekend.. just stuck in the house mingling on the computer and reading a little....ugh... i am 31 years old and just not sure how this happened to me.....it's terrible
Lonely and depressed
Welcome, forrest. I think that when we are older, losing a partner must be especially hard because so much of our life revolved around doing things together.What you need to do is learn again how to do things by yourself. Go to places you enjoy, go to functions and parties. Join a club or two. Meet new people and expand your life. If you can get time off work, go on a trip and see new places. Getting out and having new experiences is important.
I'd agree with Ineligible... Try to remember things that you had enjoyed alone at other times in your life, but if you have the opportunity, try visiting some family/hanging out if that's possible. You might want to tell them how you're feeling and have them console you and help you through this.
I recently went through a breakup with similar circumstances. I was her only friend, I still had my own friends but never hung out with them as she'd then be alone. So it was quite a shock for me after our breakup.
I bought a kayak - now I'm on that every weekend (though it doesn't help you meet people). It keeps my mind off it all. I joined a rock climbing club and that helps to meet people - the club might meet for dinner + drinks every few weeks etc. I started volunteering doing bushland regeneration with the (Australian) National Parks Services. I meet people there with very similar interests to me.
I have recently met someone (one of my clients' employees - so we didn't meet through any of my suggested activities but it helps you get out and keep from being depressed) and we're getting along great.
Get on a bicycle? Fishing? I've met people whilst out fishing that I still contact and hang out with.
Something you might want to do is learn a language! It's surprisingly fun, and opens a lot of doors in your life. If there's a community close by that speaks a particular language - learn some and then go out to a restaurant and practise it. I've dated a waitress here and there doing that, it's loads of fun if you're that kind of person. Makes for lots of laughs (even if they're at your expense)!
You may also join a web based forum (like A2A) that has a chat room based on your locality. They'll often have meets etc so that you can build a new network of friends.
Good luck and let us here know how you're going.