I'm 19, turning 20 end of this year. Honestly, I have everything a 19 year old wants, a car, a lovely gf, money, job, school, friends. I'm social, I'm perfectly fine since day 1. However, recently my life has gone down to hole that I try to hide, but actually its inevitable everytime I'm alone and I think about it.It all started with my license being suspended which I'm getting back end of next month. Thing is I'm a car guy, I spent over 15,000 dollars on my car these 2 years. Without being able to drive my "baby" I feel like I'm useless and actually thought about commiting suicide. What worries me is this 2 month suspension I can last, but I'm scared becuase I have other tickets which can cause another suspension and the next one is bound to be 3-6 months which I cannot stand. You guys may think, wow at least this guy can drive and has a nice car and has money to mod it and stuff, but.. all that money was obtained from hardwork and what not and doing little hardwork side jobs to get it. I hate my job, but if I lose it, I don't have the money to do anything to my car anymore... I'm in college, most people in my age is already 2nd year of University or college, but I'm still like near the beginning of first year even though all my close friends are the same, but I still feel like a society drop out. I don't want to learn, I pray I win the lottery so I can start a business because the only reason why I want to go through school is the fact that my parents want me to graduate from college and find an easy load job. I hate my life right now, I don't know what to do... I want to get out of school completely, drive my car without any worry, but I can't... life ought to find some walls to block you to do whatever you want. I hate work, I hate my fucking country for putting up the stupidest driving laws, I hate school, I hate doing stupid shit for money.PS: don't tell me to put aside everything and go through school first, aint gonna work like that because I have very little self-control over myself.Thanks for reading.
Am I supposed to be happy?
Make a list of everything you need to actually do to make your life less stressed out. Set goals and take care of them. Instead of buying that cold air intake or buying those really cool halo's, pay off your tickets. get your life back on track. I've been there. You only feel like a loser right not because your not being adult in your decisions. make the wise choice so you can enjoy the fun stuff. You're only 19. It will get out of hand if you don't buckle down and fly right.I don't know how it is where you live, but in Texas they have what they call roundups. The police just randomly show up at your house or place of employment and arrest you if you have outstanding tickets, bad checks, warrants and unpaid toll charges and they throw your ass in jail. To get out of jail you have to zero out the amounts due. If you can pay the fines and what is outstanding, you sit in jail. 1 day of jail time is equivalent to $100.00 towards what you owe...make good on your obligations even if it's $5.00 a week, they still see that you are making an effort and won't throw the book at you.It's time to grow up and get it together dude...
I'm almost 22... I just became a sophmore at my college.I have pretty much everything I want. however, honestly In some ways I've lived out my own personal hell until I moved out. It encroached sometimes even after I moved out.What can I say.. I'm a better person for it.I suppose where I differ from you.. is although I don't always bother to exercise it.. I have a disturbing lack of self control..
This cut is constantly bleeding
But I know that I am wrong
Lay your head down so you don't remember
Everything you are and everythin...