My best friend--really--has been dealing with his wife's breast cancer for the last six months and more and it's been really tough for him. I know this sounds pathetic because everyone immediately will think "well, what about her???" However, they have an 18 month old child and she has been saying things like "why didn't I just die? I wish I had just died." Okay, so on top of that, she's a doctor and doesn't seem to remember that half of survival is the desire to survive. My buddy is going crazy because she won't talk to anyone, especially not a professional. Does anyone have any suggestions I can pass along? If you've seen my screen name on any other posts, I hope you get the feeling that I'm somewhat intuitive, but I have no idea what to suggest to this guy...If you can....HELP!
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Breast cancer and dealing with it
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It sounds like she's severely depressed (can't blame her), and she deperately needs to be treated for it. Any decent cancer center should have appropriate social and psychological services available. (South Florida may be a bit deficient in certain areas of medicine.) At what kind of place is she being treated?
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She's really in the best place for cancer treatment in the country, but the problem is she won't talk to anyone. My buddy is very religious and she won't even talk to their priest, let alone any kind of counselor. Personally, I understand she's got to be extremely depressed--and so does he--but what do you do with someone who needs a total attitude adjustment and won't even consider it? I lost my last girlfriend to cancer and I had to deal with the family she left behind, so I'd love to offer her my take on cancer and what death means to those you leave behind, but how can I when it isn't invited or wanted....except by my buddy?
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(So she's either in Houston, New York, or maybe, Boston.)That is a very tough situation. No one can be forced to get the treatment that they really need. I would think that a social worker would try to talk to her...but she can tell him to take a hike.I wish your friend all the best. I can imagine what he must be going through.
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I appreciate your reply.Actually, have you heard of Moffitt Cancer Center in Tampa? They are doing amazing things with treatment. Unfortunately, since my last posting they've learned that she has a more aggressive form of cancer than first thought. She thought she was done with chemo and it turns out she'll be in a reduced level of therapy for the next 12 months...and she can't undergo reconstructive surgery until the therapy is over. She's dropped into an even deeper depression, and that's not good. I don't know how to help them....Someone please read this thread and offer sone kind of advice!!!Thanks.
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Because you have been through it, you obviously feel you wanna help and to pass along what you have learned going through it all, good and bad. However its obvious that your friends wife is scared and depressed, and i would imagine being a doctor that would make her feel worse. She is usually the one making things better, she is the one in control, and now she is having to be looked after and is totally out of control where her body is concerned and even tho she's a doctor can't do anything to help herself. She must be so frustrated, angry and frightened.To be honest hon, i think all you can actually do is be there for your friend, if and when he needs your support etc. You can't force yourself onto someone when they don't want it. My mum had breast cancer about 7 years ago now, had chemo etc, had her breast removed and reconstructed etc - we are a very close family but i have no idea exactly what she went through, thinking she was going to die, how could we if we havn't been in the exact same position.Let your friend know you want to help, be supportive and hope that everything turns out ok, unfortunately its all you can really do.
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Thanks for the post. I figured that was about all I could do, but you're right: having dealt with it on a personal level, I can't stand seeing someone else gong through it essentially alone.Ah well, I will be there and he knows that.Thanks again!And I can't imagine anything better than licking a witch
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Its really difficult to say.
But there is no way one need to cope with changes and try to be busy among folks and have fun all the time .
Take proper medication simultaeniously. breast cancer information