Newbie to sex. hard to stay hard.

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I lost my virginity awhile with my girl, but I didnt cum. not because of a problem we just stopped, it was whatever.I have a problem getting hard for sex. Literally she'll be giving me oral.. I'll get all hard, I'll put her on her back (startin out with missionary/on top).. but by the time I try to get in her (which is like 3-10 sec later).. I'll go soft.Its happened 3 times and I think its really irritating my girlfriend. Whats going on? Im gona post here a few points.. wondering if any of these are hindering me staying hard. Im 20 with an atheletic body. Im "healthy".1. I smoked a lot before I had sex. I just lost it in June. I only smoked cigs for 2 yrs. at the start it was a lot and then got less frequent.. but some days Id smoke a lot. nothing like a pack a day though but id always have a smoke with friends. I also smoked a lot of weed.. for 3yrs. 2nd year was everyday ave. 1G split between 3 ppl every second day. could I have some early impotency? I dont smoke anymore.. only the occasional sig.2. theres never anything to eat in my home.. long story but for example over the last months ive been eating just 1 meal a day and thats like something small. I'll usually stay around the home all day and go out at night to eat or cook a big meal. I basically never eat fruits/veggies on the regular.3. I have A.D.D... could I be distracted sometimes or anything? Im also a pretty depressed person. I usually never have happy thoughts unless Im daydreaming. I dont exercise or shit4. my sleeping patterns are messed up. ill sleep in till like 3pm + just so I dont have to be awake starving and shit. Ill go to bed when the sun rises n shit.SOOORRYYYYY for the long ass post but Im getting annoyed with this.. last nite me and my girl were getting ready for sex and I just couldnt stay hard. It was dark this time and I could see she was just like "WOW/SIGH/WTF/AGAIN" Also I saw a similar post about this.. the person mite have anxiety.. I wasnt nervous at all the first time.but if it is anxiety or whatever.. when is it going to go away? like.. after the 10th time weve tried? 20th?

Q1: Yes Im into it. I really want to do it, start doing it all.Q2: yeah Im "disgusted" that my pecker wont co-operate and I was happy to get it over with.I know she doesnt care that much but she tells me how much she wants to f*** and all that. It must be a downer when its time.

Most often, the problem is nerves, even when we're not aware of them, and as you get more used to sex and it becomes more familiar it gets better.However, some of your health problems aren't helping. If you're not eating enough, that makes it harder to get hard, and depression doesn't help either.

Okay thanks a lot guys. I guess I will have to be patient.. get together a bit more frequent with my girl. Im seeing a doctor tommorow about something different. I'm gonna ask him/her about this too. thanks

There are a lot of (possible) answers to your problem, but they all come down to this. For the body to work properly, it must be healthy both physically and mentally. Some thoughts:1. Your penis becomes hard when it fills with blood. Thus it's important to keep your circulatory system in good condition. Proper diet and exercise can help tremendously. Get some fruits and vegetables into the house and eat them. Try to eat well balanced meals and stay away from the "junk" food. Regular exercise, including cardio-vascular, will develop your heart and help it to pump the blood necessary for your erection. If you can give up the smoking- both cigarettes and weed- that would also be a plus. You have an athletic body because you are young and we all start that way. Then we have to do the right things to maintain it. It really is a lot easier to develop good habits and start now than to try to repair damage when you are older.2. Try to develop "normal" sleep patterns. I guess I'm not understanding something about your sleep comments. Why can't you have some (good) food available in the house so you're not starving? Are you unable to work, and thus provide for yourself? Your body really works best when it's on some type of schedule of work, rest, diet and exercise.3.Now to the mental part. Yes, both anxiety and your depression could also play a part in your problem. The anxiety you can probably conquer yourself with the help of your girlfriend. Spend time kissing, cuddling, etc. (with or without clothes) but without thinking about penetrating her. Give her some oral to get her off and let her do you. Just enjoy each other's bodies. I think you'll eventually find that the rest will just happen.If you take charge of your life by proper diet and exercise, you'll begin to feel better about yourself and you may find that your depression eases. If not, you may choose to seek medical attention for help.Good luck!

I would say the weed did that you.

Did what? Who are you responding to? Never did weed in my whole life!

If you were answering the original poster -- I seriously doubt that that is the main issue.

Maybe he's gay?

lol fuck off but to be honest I have fantasies. But Im not attracted to guys/relationships/looks

when i start to lose full erection i find patting your penis on a womans vagina or try wanking your cock a bit or rub against the womans vagina with your penis , things like that.

its the blood rush that goes , you have to be very excited for sex

but seriously if you struggle everytime then maybe you need viagra or even may be gay

I've had this same problem, infact its prevented me losing my virginity.

I seriously doubt it means he is gay.

I asked a doctar about it and they said viagra was NOT a solution as even with viagra your head needs to be in order for your dick to function. I've been told I just have to not be nervous/stressed/depressed.

That sounds totally correct. Kopite1979's gay/viagra comment was totally silly.