Til death do us part?

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He dumped me. He threw out everything of mine. He cancelled my phone service, and he's back to f**king my best friend. And I'm not 'allowed' to communicate with him until one month from yesterday. Where the HELL did that come from?

Where indeed? What happened?

I'm with my family, so me and him are 1500 miles apart right now. We bickered on Sunday, and I apologized on Monday, called Tuesday morning again, he was fine. Then he calls me at 3:00 Tuesday and says we're through, that he threw out my soul ring, and all my stuff he personally cut to bits with scissors and threw out.

Have you considered that a man who destroys all your stuff and shags your 'best' friend is a man you could do without?

What a horrible man. You're well rid of him.

what a prick!!!! (sorry)....man...i hate guys like that, im sorry for you tho. i hope your not too upset about it. hugs

hugs I've been reading this thread without commenting on it (didn't feel I had anything particularly constructive to contribute) but I just want you to know that I really think you are better off without him. It's probably getting you down at the minute, but honestly, can you really invisige yourself with a man who could do that to you? You don't want to spend your life tiptoeing around on eggshells for fear of upsetting him and having him cutting all your things to pieces. He sounds really controlling and nasty... you'll feel better after a while. Keep your head up and look for something better - you sure as hell deserve it!

HOLY FREAKIN CRAP!!!!!

Damn, but I wish I was on that side of the world to give that m*th*rf*ck*r a lesson! What an incredible piece of garbage!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Okay, I'm a little calmer, now....

I'm so sorry....I really don't know what to say except the others who've posted are right...any guy who could do this isn't worth your time, effort, or the air he takes into his lungs.

FUCK HIM!!!!

**maybe I'm not so calm**

What type of guys? The ones that dump the girls? Or the ones that get dumped? Theres only 2?

No, there aren't only two types, and you're oversimplifying. Did you read what followed "He dumped me"?

My advice would be not to 'allow' yourself to contact him ever again. What is that 'months non contact allowance' all about? And why should you give him the reigns in this situation? Why should he call the shots and why would you want to let him?Move the fuck on - that's my best advice.

I was extremely upset when I found out what he'd done, but now I know EXACTLY what he did, and I'm angrier, but more calm. He destroyed everything that he had claim to. So my underwear that I gave him, my ring, the quilt I spent a year finishing properly, along with a few other trivial things are gone, but my clothes and other personal belongings are just packed into a box that he threw into the attic. My best friend told me he tried to hook up with her, but a neutral friend we all share told me that DID happen, but it was the other way around. She dated him before I did, and was trying to 'get him back'. It didn't work. But he still won't talk to me, and I don't know why... It must have been my fault. And I say this because I tell him when I'm sad. I should have known he was unhappy... I was the one hurting him. I think he behaved like an irrational @$$, but at least he didn't wait for me to come home and start screaming at me or something. Especially since he has violent rage attacks (he keeps his hands off me, but he loses it sometimes, and if he hit me even once, it would be over forever, becuase if he didn't kill me first, I'd make sure he never lived to see morning). I think he's being really selfish, not to regard my feelings. I know he's hurt, but what right does that give him to make me cry? I was sobbing last night on the phone, and he told me if I didn't hang up, he'd block my numbers for good, so I could never call him again. He's not that kind of person, though! I don't know what's wrong with him! He's never been cruel or unforgiving or ANYTHING! He's like Mr. Dream-guy! I don't know what's wrong. All I can think is I must have done something REALLY cruel to hurt him like that. If only he'd talk to me... What should I do?!

hon, he sounds like a manipulative drama queen, and you are best rid of him. If you weren't chasing so hard he wouldn't be being so pigheaded and downright nasty. It seems he can say and do what he wants to you and you will put up with it, so why the hell should he change. He can't love you, you don't treat people like that if you love them, and as for him being Mr perfect - he sounds like Mr imperfect to me. You don't need something or someone as distructive in your life. I know you're not listening to any of the advice that remotely says do yourself a favour and kick him to the curb, but one day you will wish you had done it sooner.

I don't know. It seems he doesn't even care about my reaction. Sadists (as I know from my mummy dearest) love to see you hurting. Aside from me calling when I realized he was serious, he doesn't know what's going on in my life right now. I mean, so far as he knows, I'm partying it up with tequilas and cute foreign boys as we speak. I'm not. I'm crying and listening to sad songs. But he doesn't know that. I don't know what is wrong with him. I have known him for a long time, and know all of his former girlfriends. He has never done anything remotely like this before. I'm more worried about him than I am angry, at this point. He did call and break it off right after he got back from therapy... Maybe that has something to do with it. I also know that he had mentioned something about a change of medications (he's been on Zoloft and Ritalin/Ritalin LA as long as I've known him). It's also odd for him to make a demand. I've never let him so much as ASK me to cook, clean, or do ANYTHING really without offering to help, let alone boss me around. I'm in charge. This is the first time he's EVER put his foot down. All I can think is something had to have gone sour somewhere, and I think it must be me, since he's been a darling, as always. He gave me my love note and rose on Saturday, as always. He kissed me every time we walked into the same room, as always. He's a shoddy liar, which means he wasn't hiding anything from me. This was completely spontaneous, or he'd only remotely considered it, as of eight hours before this ended. I didn't argue about breaking up (being dumped) except by crying, but then I told him whatever he wanted. He just talked in that same blank monotone. I'm acting like I have no interest in him anymore, but I can't stop crying. I can't figure out what happened! Where did I go wrong, 'cause it SURE as hell doesn't seem like him, and I know when someone's messing with my head. Maybe he's hurt because I didn't tell him about the baby?

Whatever set him off on this tirade, the way he has reacted shows you are well rid of him. There are always stresses in life, and shocks, and if that hadn't set him off, sooner or later something would have.

I know his actions were unacceptable. That's why I'm not crying on his doorstep. Still, I'm not going to be less anxious until I find out what this is. Even his parents don't blame me for his strange behavior (they ALWAYS blame me for EVERYTHING, from traffic to the flu). His mom said he called right before his appointment on Tuesday to ask (again) if plans were going well for our "surprise" anniversary party. Less than an hour before he broke up with me, he was all excited about celebrating our love for each other. If I don't find out what's going on before a week from today, I'm slapping his therapist with a malpractice suit, because she is the ONLY person who talked to him between his mother and I, and she had to have said or done something pretty radical to get such a response out of him. One hour, and he's not the same person anymore. He had to cut his mom off becuase his appointment was starting, and he had just gotten into the car when he called me. What the h**l could that woman have done, to completely change him like that? And he's been in this funk since then! Everyone says I'm better off now, but that is NOT who he is, even when he's being a jerk. I'm worried about him. I don't know what's going on, and I'm scared.

wel, now i guess it doesn't matter. i called him, and it's over, because i said i wouldn't. i had to hear his voice. he wasn't eeven home. i jsut gave up all i had in a gamble and i lost everything. i had to hear his voice. i just had to. and now hes gone and ist my fault.

It's your fault that a worthless person is out of your life? You should be proud of yourself.

He's not worthless. He's really not. All the s**t I put him though... I had to have been blind. He's always been there for me. He's been there for my friends, even ones whom he dislikes, just so I could smile when it was all over. He has done the little things that count, and then gone out of his way to make sure I KNOW he loves me more than life. And I did this to him! I hurt him! Everyone knows he didn't do anything, so it's either all me, or he's lost him g-damned mind! And he seems lucid enough!

> I know his actions were unacceptable.

If someone else had started this thread, and you read it, what would you tell that poster?

You are depressed, your perspective is not that great now, and you will probably keep going in circles if a message board is your main way of dealing with your issues. You could really, really use in-person counseling. A Web site can only go so far.

> Everyone knows he didn't do anything

> Sadists...love to see you hurting.

You need to get to the bottom of why you think you have such little value. Don't be a masochist. Please get some help. A psychologist, psychiatrist, social worker, counselor, etc. would be a good place to start.