Random words of advice

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I thought it would be good to make a thread where you can just post random advice. just anything. But sort of the advice that has benefited you in your life or you wish you had taken.

*When your wife is pregnant, don't make her feel ugly. Tell her she's more beautiful than ever.

*If your parents call you, respond the first time. They'll be shocked.

*If you're spaghetti sauce smells like vodka and tastes like vodka, it most likely is vodka.

*Never fake a Jamaican accent in front of a Jamaican.

*Never wear anything about the Boston Red Sox in New York. And vice versa with the New York Yankees in Boston. (Lethal!)

*Don't inhale gas. Just because you think it smells good does not mean it's a substitute for air.

*It's probably not a smart idea to pelt squirrels and birds with beebee guns.

*Make sure before you drive out of a parking lot that the gear is not on reverse.

You don't tug on Superman's cape
You don't spit into the wind
You don't pull the mask off the old Lone Ranger
And you don't mess around with Jim

*Don't eat spicy food when it's hot, really fast. Your stomach will thank you for it. (trust me )

Nice one! I haven't heard that song in years!

I beg to differ, with out looking it up, as I recall jim got his ass whooped, something about and when the cuttin was done the only part that wasnt bloody was the souls of the big mans feet! Slim messed with Jim, and slim whooped his ass!

My dad gave me good advice the other night, "Don't act like a fucken wanker". He also told me that when I was younger as well.

My mother gave m great advice, should of listened but I knew better and so ignored her, I found out she was right.
Never get married! unless your atleast 65 and only then if you have to!

Threads might as well stop here. The best advice I've ever heard right there.

Now where did the PB advise come from?
If your gonna toss something like that out into the open forum air, you need to back it up.
Im not bitching understand, I just want to know WHY I shouldnt eat it before bed, keep in mind I dont even eat it, Im not a big fan of PB or of nuts period, but ya gotta offer something up to substantiate a statement like that.

It might be due to the way it affects your dreams. I know eating meat right before bed has been known to cause real vivid dreams or even nightmares with people I know, especially my mom. I'm too much of a caveman for that to affect me, though, and I was probably 9 the last time I had a nightmare.

I have semi-nightmares where I lose my teeth. Freak me out a lot.

Never stick your tongue out at strangers, especially men.

really? I have never had one maybe I should eat more than a few sammies... hmmm the meat one doesnt seem to work for me. I've stopped dreaming anyway, all I see is blackness been like that for about a year or two.

You're not doing meth are you?

Java!!

Quote:

Random words of advice shut the fuck up!

@ PepsiChaser i'm not telling you to shut the fuck up... it;s my "words of advice"

Hey Hon! Hey Mr. U!

huggles you both to death

Don't eat yellow snow.

oh that's a good one.

don't eat the yellow snow