My boyfriend and I are both virgins and we've been talking about having sex for a while. I'm 16, he's 17. He's about 6-6 1/2 inches long (not sure about girth, he's pretty thick though) and I guess (he's told me) I'm pretty tight. Neither of us have had much sexual experience with anyone but each other. I'm on the Pill and he'll be using a condom.What would the best position be for us?Should we buy lube?Would a regular size condom fit him okay?If I were to bleed, about how much would it be?Any tips for loosing it as painlessly as possible?Thanks guys!
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Two Virgins...
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I don't think there's a "best" position. Missionary is a good one to start with.Lube isn't essential, but may be helpful.Whether a regular size condom will fit him depends on his girth. He should try one on for size before you start having sex.Most girls nowadays have broken their hymen with tampons before first sex, so there shouldn't be much bleeding. People vary, though.What will make it easiest is if you are sure you want to do it, and you spend a long time on foreplay beforehand. Being unsure and tense makes you tighten up.
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I suppose I meant best as in... easiset for the inexperienced to start with. Yeah, he's definitely going to try one on to make sure it's the right size before we have sex. I was just hoping to get a rough idea so we didn't buy the completely wrong size and get stuck with a box that doesn't fit.Mine's been stretched, not really broken/torn so I'll probably bleed. I was just wondering how much it would be, enough to lay a towel down or barely enough to notice?We've been together for two years and he gave me a promise ring so we're definitely ready to move on to the next physical level of our relationship. And he's a really great guy about foreplay so I don't think that'll be too much of a problem.Any other advice? I don't want to jump into this without a little advice from people who have more experience than we do.
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just a thought....if your not sure about all of that, you should really reconsider having sex.. :scream_cat:
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"What will make it easiest is if you are sure you want to do it, and you spend a long time on foreplay beforehand. Being unsure and tense makes you tighten up."Ditto that...make sure you're nice and wet first. Let him know if he's hurting you, too...some girls are afraid to do that. Take it slow in the beginning.
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I always thought knowing beforehand was the smart thing to do. Since we're both pretty inexperienced, neither of us know and everyone needs to learn somewhere. I just wanted to cover all of this stuff and KNOW before we actually had sex. I don't think there is anything wrong with asking questions before diving into something that could lead to such serious consequences as unwanted pregnancy (STDs aren't an issue for us). Since both of us have to learn somwhere, I figured here would be a good place to ask and not be judged, I guess I was incorrect.
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im not judging anyone here, im just saying.yeah, knowing beforehand is a good thing, but you dont need to imply that im judging you. and stds still should be an issue. if you take the precautions everytime you have sex, then thats the safest way to go isnt it?? better safe than sorry. its just that these questions you ask are really something that is a personal preference"What would the best position be for us? whatever position you wantShould we buy lube? if you want toWould a regular size condom fit him okay? ask HIM that (if he has an average size then yes, and as long as his girth isnt too large) measure and find out, we cant exactly tell you if it should fit him, your the one thats seen it i guess?If I were to bleed, about how much would it be? it depends on YOU and YOUR body, not what we sayAny tips for loosing it as painlessly as possible?" lube and actually being relaxed.in conclusion, use lube if your not wet enough, do any position you want, (get him to wear a condom!!!!!), and stop assuming that im judgin you. relax and have fun. as long as you know the basics, you should be ok. but how would we all know how much your gonna bleed??? its questions like that (thats impossible to answer imo), that make me think if your even ready to have sex. but thats just me.
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I asked about the best position in a poorly worded way. What I meant was, "What would be an easy position for two inexperienced people?" I didn't realize I had it worded funny until it was too late to edit it.I asked about the lube thing because... I do not know. I'm in very unfamiliar territory when it comes to personal lubricants. I don't know if they really help make things easier or if they are just for people who cannot natually lubricate themselves. I figured it was a valid question.Since most condoms come several in a box and they aren't exactly cheap (well, the ones in brands that I actually know and are willing to trust) I didn't want to have to buy 8 boxes to get a good fit. I saw nothing wrong with asking a question that was mostly aimed towards the GUYS who might have a similar size or be more knowledgable about condoms and have an idea of what would fit. I have asked him that, I do know his size, neither of us know which condom will fit him best. Honestly, it was more of a "I-don't-want-to-buy-6-boxes-right-off-the-bat-to-see-if-ONE-fits" thing. I don't currently have a job and he doesn't make much where he works so neither of us have a lot of cash to throw around.I was just wondering what the AVERAGE amount people bleed would be. I understand that it's unique, but since it's not something that's regularly discussed among my more expierenced friends and sure as hell isn't covered in any forced Sex-Ed class, I honestly don't know. Again, what's wrong with wondering if I need to lay a towel down or not? I probably will just to make sure but still, what's wrong with asking?The tip thing is mostly because my friends who aren't virgins lost it long ago and very uncomfortably. A friend who recently lost it couldn't walk up stairs the next day to get to class on time. Since I didn't want to be in that boat, I was wondering if there was anything I could do outside of the "relax, be aroused" thing. Maybe... make sure you're not too cold or something stupid like that which could have been useful.What was I supposed to think if your only input was "I don't think you're ready"? In your own words, it's ME and MY body, so I am the one to choose when I am ready. He and I love eachother, we are willing to deal with any complications, we are both mentally and emotionally ready to commit to something as huge as sex, our only problem was not instantaneously knowing everything there was to know. The whole point of this site is to ask questions, and that's exactly what I did when you put in your two-cents when it wasn't helpful in the least.I'd rather ask "unanswerable" questions than jump into this blindfolded and not know anything and just hope things go well. Silly me for wanting to try and make sure both he and I are ready in knowledge as well as the emotional, physical, and mental readiness (sp?).Seriously, if you had nothing helpful to say, why even post?
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people are entitled to their own opinion, and i gave you mine. suck it up. if you dont like it, dont listen/read it. im just saying it like it is. if you dont want people to answer in their own opinion, then post questions that can actually be answered by people, not by you and your boyfriend. if you want to lay a towel down, then lay one down!! if you think he can fit into a normal condom, then buy some. i think investing a little bit into finding the right condoms is well worth the risk of being pregnant. im just saying my own opinion on this, and im sure other people on this site were probably thinking the same thing as i was about if your ready or not. its your body, so do whatever you want with it. im not replying back to this post anymore, cause theres no point. you ask for peoples opinions, but then you get offended at what i say. i told you what i thought. and i answered all those questions for you, so what else am i supposed to do?nobody can accurately answer those questions that you posted, you know your body more than anyone else does, so how can you expect us to answer that for you??? anyways, im finished. good luck in whatever you choose to do.