Now, every so often, a certain sensory input will cause me to have a very depressing, sudden, and intense flashback. I can handle them well in public, but if I'm alone, I always have to take a minute to gather myself.
It can happen from anything, usually music/songs that were playing during these events that happened in my past, but sometimes taste/smell brings them on. Some of the flashbacks were "happy" to me when I was living them, but when I have a flashback of it, it's too intense, and leaves me depressed.
Good Charlotte brings me back to when I was in Grade 8, driving around with my family and my friend's family going to church or a resteraunt. It angers me now.
System of a Down makes me remember going to this girl's house, whom I was in a weird relationship with... Which I can't seem to get out of my head to this day (it was ~1 and a half years ago)... This one in particular makes my gut wrench (physically), and makes me feel like I'm going to cry (I never do, my eyes tear up, but I never actually cry [nor in real life when someone dies, but that's just me and not this whole flashback thing then]).
Now, the question:
Will this go away, and do I have a mental disorder of any kind?
I looked up the symptoms of PTSD, and I seem to have most if not all of them, but that can't really be, I haven't been through any real troubling times, but the bad events from my flashbacks started following the death of my grandfather (cancer, man he was such a nice man)... What doesn't help is that my other grandfather now has cancer too.
Maybe I just have to get this out, but fuck...