WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME??/

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ok.. short story. my boyfriend and i are not having sex until marrage. we do other things to relase the sexual urges, pretty much everything, including oral. anyway, we decided to search for my g-spot, and he used 2 fingers and it kinda hurt the first time, but then he got in. well last night he wanted to do it again, but this time it hurt so bad. we were told to use lube, but we made the mistake of getting the warming ky.. and that burned so much i had to wash it off and wait. so he tried again, and it hurt really bad again, and i was in tears. i told him to pull his fingers out, and he did really really fast, why i dont know.. but it hurt like sooo bad. whats wrong with me??? to be straight forward, in the future how are we going to have sex if it hurts just to put 2 fingers in??? help please. i feel abnormal.. or that i may not ever be able to have sex.

I think you've should've waited some time after you washed off the warming lube. And by waited I mean wait a few days until your genitals healed. I think he caused more pain when he tried to finger you right after.

I think you were nervous, and therefore tensed up - the unexpected feeling of the warming KY wouldn't have helped.

ok so the pain was probally from pretty much my vagina on fire lol.. its just weird.. because that should be a pleasurable thing.. but its not.. i dont use tampons because im sensitive, so i guess it is the first time to ever have something in there. thanks, and btw your the only one who really helps with my questions, and i appreciate your time. you have helped me before, and i know your probally thinking just stop stressing!

Yeah, but I guess it looks like the warming lube doesn't work with all women. You should try to use a normal, simple lube and see how that works. If it irritates you again, then there may be something in lube that's causing it. You can try using your spit if there's no lube around.I've or someone else probably said this before, but he should enter you slow and gently. Let him know when to keep moving and when to stop if it feels uncomfortable. And try your best to not think about the pain. If all you do is think about the pain, then that's all you're going to feel. Close your eyes and breathe, if that helps.You're welcome for the posts, but there are much more well-informed people here than I. That's how I know this stuff in the first place, lol!

I would try just one finger first, not two! Two fingers is pretty much pushing the limits if you've never been penetrated before. My girlfriend is of a pretty small size and just one finger was hurting her at first, and after we had done it for a while (read: a few months) she became comfortable enough to use two.In short, work your way up. You dont learn to ride a bike before you learn to walk. Get used to smaller things beforehand so you know you can get used to it.Edit: As Virtual_Star said, communication helps a lot. Dont make him do it all himself, just guide him. Left or right, faster or slower, stop or go. You'd be surprised at how much a simple word could change the experience.Good luck!

Warming KY has something in it that causes heat. Virtual_Star is right. In time it wouldn't have burned. Too soon, and well, with any extra stretching: it causes, small tears that have to heal. What happened is that the warming agent got to TENDER stuff, and burnt.Your not dammaged, but find lube that is not warming (at least until you are used to what is happening).I remember my second time of sex, hurting WAY worse than any. It is something like working out. If you use the same muscles 2 days in a row, they hurt like hell the 2nd time, because they are trying to heal.There is nothing wrong with you, just let your body heal!

A question. Why would you want to have your bf's finger up inside your pussy and not his penis? I would consider that if I did that to a girl we had had sex.

Originally Posted By: socalblokeA question. Why would you want to have your bf's finger up inside your pussy and not his penis? I guess you missed the first sentence in her post... Originally Posted By: 20questionsmy boyfriend and i are not having sex until marrage.

Originally Posted By: clixx52I would try just one finger first, not two! Two fingers is pretty much pushing the limits if you've never been penetrated before. My girlfriend is of a pretty small size and just one finger was hurting her at first, and after we had done it for a while (read: a few months) she became comfortable enough to use two.In short, work your way up. You dont learn to ride a bike before you learn to walk. Get used to smaller things beforehand so you know you can get used to it.Edit: As Virtual_Star said, communication helps a lot. Dont make him do it all himself, just guide him. Left or right, faster or slower, stop or go. You'd be surprised at how much a simple word could change the experience.Good luck! Yeah, my gf could only hold one. I tried two but it was far too tight in there. One seemed to be the sweet spot for her. As you said, communication is key, and just take your time. Even if you've been having sex for years why start with 2-3 fingers when you can just start with 1 and build up?That's my opinion anyways.

Didn't miss a thing. Just making the point that having a guy's finger far enough up you to reach the g-spot IS sex.  Originally Posted By: Virtual_Star Originally Posted By: socalblokeA question. Why would you want to have your bf's finger up inside your pussy and not his penis? I guess you missed the first sentence in her post... Originally Posted By: 20questionsmy boyfriend and i are not having sex until marrage.

Lol, what? When did masturbation equal sex?

Originally Posted By: Virtual_StarLol, what? When did masturbation equal sex?Yes, I'm just as interested in this phenomenon as well. Lets list the possibilities that can be defined Sex.Oral SexAnal SexVaginal Sex----Now some things that don't have that definition, yet pertain to the subject matter.MasturbationMutual MasturbationAssisted Masturbation----Now to be fair, she said she didn't want to have sex, but Oral was ok. Technically that is sex. But in the same respect: People associate Vaginal Sex with the "Bonding of Souls" so if in her mind that works, who're we to say different. That's my half cent. (I adjusted for inflation of two cents)

Thanks for your input! Perhaps that's what socialbloke was trying to get that.If not, I still don't get how touching the g-spot with a finger equals having full on sex. I just wanna know where he's coming from when he said that.Don't tell me I took my own virginity when I poked myself. I've been living a lie!

I was hoping to find out what line 20questions thought she was drawing between having a guys finger way up inside vagina her where the g-spot is found and "sex". Of course it's sex so it it a moral thing (I was raised Catholic and they would consider either activity equally sinful) or is it to avoid pregnancy? Or is it the intimacy thing the other poster mentioned? I certainly feel its just as intimate if a girl puts my penis in her mouth as vaginally.
As far as being a virgin I think some people would say you were and some would say you aren't. I guess up to you to decide on your definition. I wouldnt consider someone who had oral and anal sex a virgin.

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I was hoping to find out what line 20questions thought she was drawing between having a guys finger way up inside vagina her where the g-spot is found and "sex".
There IS a line, and a clear one at that. When she or her boyfriend fingers her genitals, it's masturbation. If her boyfriend penetrates her with his penis, it's vaginal sex. It's two different things. But perhaps you don't think that way.

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Of course it's sex so it it a moral thing (I was raised Catholic and they would consider either activity equally sinful) or is it to avoid pregnancy? Or is it the intimacy thing the other poster mentioned? I certainly feel its just as intimate if a girl puts my penis in her mouth as vaginally.
Okay, that doesn't make much sense, but I think see where you're coming from. The problem with that is the poster may not be Catholic, so you can't say it's "sinful" nor can you tell her what "moral" is. If I'm way off, I apologize.

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As far as being a virgin I think some people would say you were and some would say you aren't. I guess up to you to decide on your definition. I wouldnt consider someone who had oral and anal sex a virgin.
Lol, I was acutally just joking. I don't believe if anyone masturbates they are no longer a virgin. Doesn't matter anymore, since I'm not a virgin anyway.

I think there should be a line drawn here between definitions and colloquialisms. When people say 'sex', they tend to refer to vaginal intercourse. There are different kinds of sex, but people dont really casually refer to masturbation or oral as a type of 'sex'.I personally dont think that just because you've had a finger in you, you're not a virgin. Virginity is, and to my knowledge has always been, one's never having had vaginal intercourse. Of course, that definition tends to change when youre homosexual, but the point is still the same. Genitals --> some hole in the nether region. I don't consider me fingering my girlfriend taking her virginity.

Originally Posted By: clixx52I think there should be a line drawn here between definitions and colloquialisms. When people say 'sex', they tend to refer to vaginal intercourse. There are different kinds of sex, but people dont really casually refer to masturbation or oral as a type of 'sex'.Yeah, I think this is why I'm being stupid. Maybe socialbloke's definitions are different from my own, and vice versa. Man, I really need to learn when to shut up and let smart people do the talking, lol.

Nah, I think you're alright. Everyone misses a beat somewhere.