For starters, I can't believe I remembered my password to this place. \*looks at joined date\* But anyways...
Im 15, in a decent social position in school, tons of friends, i've been told by alot of people that im attractive. But the thing is, I hate social events whether it be parties, weddings, or even busy restaraunts. I'm not a people person. Of course, i've never attended one of the numerous school dances(mixers) offered from middle school into my current junior year, and I've never really wanted to. I'm relatively happy single and I dont subscribe to the(its better to have loved and lost then to have never loved at all) I almost had a girlfriend on many occasions, but I always find ways out of the situations as im shy I suppose. (Which i regret) I like being by myself, I'm the administrator of a forum with over 10,000 users for an online game so I am not starved for conversation, even without the internet, I'm happy just watching a movie or reading a magazine...
Anyway, as time progresses, my friends and even my parents are edging me to go to one of the school dances, specifically the ring dance that is coming up in a month or so which I must attend(and properly bring a girl) I oppose this with a passion but in the back of my head I realize that I really would like to go, I understand that nothing can go wrong, I can easily get a girl If I could work up the courage to ask someone, but for some reason I can't.
For the past 5 years, my excuse has been that I want to be able to drive before I work on relationships, but that is only 6 months away, and it was not an excuse I was ready to live up to...
I'm not really afraid of being rejected, as I have a good outlook on everything in life, but I suppose I would be embarassed for some reason, If I had a girlfriend(I know thats dumb...) Mainly, and I don't mean to sound like a dork, to my parents, who kid around that I should go to dances, some girl is hitting on you, etc... I hate talking about that sort of thing by itself, but by attending dances or getting a girlfriend, it would be akward tenfold. I understand that I can just say "I dont want to talk about this" but what is unsaid is worse then what is said, and I have a terrible phobia of what people are thinking of me..
I dont know if this is more of a question than admitting to myself that I need to get out in the real world and meet some new people and get into relationships, but Im curious to know what anyone else thinks, or maybe some suggestions on conquering massive shyness...
~nmap
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Too shy, and i need to change it.
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Welcome back. Is your mother any better?You are right to want to do something about your shyness with girls. Yes, there is plenty of time for finding a life-mate. However, social skills are an important part of your education, and now is the time to get them. A dance is an especially good opportunity, because if you take a girl to a dance who is not a current girlfriend, it's recognised by all that it's not any sort of future commitment - it may become a relationship but it need not, so there's no pressure.Also at a dance everything is pretty much laid out in what is expected of you. It's also easier to ask the girl - you just ask her if someone is taking her to the dance - if the answer is no (or "not yet") you ask if you can take her.So I'd urge you to pluck up the courage and have a go. Yes, there will be stress, and you may feel it's not worth it. In the long run, though, I think it certainly is. It will help yoir self-confidence, and your confidence in talking to girls.
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ok, do you happen to have a girl that is a friend? strictly a friend? cause if you do, talk to her, ask her to the next dance, as friends, cause then it wont be weird, you wont be asking her out, just asking her to hang out with you at the dance