Right, here goes: Two weeks ago I had to tell my sister that I felt we needed some time apart because her behaviour towards me had become so increasingly aggressive and erratic it had become scarcely bearable. I came to the conclusion that if this were a romantic relationship I would leave, that was the point when I decided we needed a break. The only conversation we have had these last two weeks was in text to arrange a visit between her and my son.I'm not the only one who has noticed her attitude towards me and wondered what could be going on with her, two other people have pointed it out to me. I have asked her straight out what the problem is and also tried to cajole it out of her on different occasions, but nothing; she says theres nothing wrong with her, but there clearly is.Here are some examples: I was sitting in my place on the sofa with my boyfriend one night and she was sitting on the armchair. He and I were discussing a film and I was saying that I thought the trailer hyped the film up to be more exciting that it actually turned out to be, it was just a random conversation and my comments werent even directed at her. "THATS YOUR OPINION"! She thundered across the room at the top of her voice with this mad angry look on her face, for no apparent reason!We were getting into my car a couple of days before that and when she got in she swung the car door out too far and it struck the car parked alongside leaving a small but definite dent in the other car door. I said to my boyfriend (who was driving) "quick, get us out of here before that person comes back and wants paying for their car door". Which was met by "What are you taking about? I didnt do anything to the car door, theres nothing wrong with the door! What mark? What are you talking about?" etc etc, despite the fact that the dint was as plain as day and only about three feet away! I even said to my boyfriend afterwards, "did you see that mark"? and he said "of course I did, but your sister obviously didnt want to acknowledge it, so I thought it was better left alone". There are at least a dozen other incidents like this I could recall but I wont bore you all with them. What the hell do people make of this? Her problem isnt with anybody else, it's solely with me. Any ideas on what could be at the root of it and what I can do about it? I love my sister but am just not prepared to be abused by anybody. Help!
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Sister doing my head in..
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Based on private discussions I have had with you, I still think she is jealous of you and the things you have in life. She is not being much of a sister at all. And I think it is better for you to keep your distance from her for now.
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Thanks honey, I will. I think that's the only way to go for the moment. It's just upsetting though. I miss her and the laughs we had before all this started. I just dont know what to do for the best because Christmas is only little over ten weeks away and it wouldnt be out of the bounds of possibility for this to drag on that long. When people in our family fall out we really fall out, and it would be terrible if it went on that long, which unfortunately I can see happening :frowning:
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*hugs* I know. I am sorry that you have to go through this.
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Ah thanks, ha ha, that made me feel a bit better!
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My sister is also abit of a dick head at times. I love her to bits and peices but she can be a total mega bitch to me when she wants to, mostly when she;s bord, which is often.I just try and keep my distance and hang out with her now and then, too often and it just gets to be way to much. She's just not good for me really.She even wanted us to get a city apartment together next year when we'd both be at uni in the city ( she's 2 years older then me) and I told her I didn't want to live with her which she took pretty badly.I love her but I can't wait till she moves out, shes destructive and starts fights with everyone and she's really not good for the family or for me.good luck
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I know sorta how you feel, my sister is the biggest cow i have ever met, she thinks everyone was put on this earth to service her needs, i hate her, i dispise every fiber in her body, she thinks im a slave, garrrrr!!!!!! er...sorry, just venting, well, she's 18 this year so she will be out soon. that is if she can get her dumb ass to finish school.
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Ouch, that sounds rough!I think you are right; she is going through something, but I can't even begin to guess what it might be. I know that it is difficult to deal with, but I don't recommend giving up on family, ever. You are wise to just take a break, but be careful not to let it become permanent. Hopefully she will sort out what is going on to make her angry, and sooner or later be able to talk about it.I know this touches on the sensitive topic of age, but is she older or younger than you are, and by how much? When there is a large age difference, siblings may not have as much in common and the family bond may take longer to develop than when there are only 3 or 4 years between them.
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Thanks everyone for responding. She's twentyseven and I'm thirty. There were resentful feelings from her end going back to when we were kids because she perceived that I had some sort of 'power' that she didnt have. She's never admitted this, but it was pretty obvious and easy to figure out. I'm the eldest girl and being raised in an environment of quite severe dysfunction where a lot of the adult responsibilities fell to me did give me some sort of position within the family that wouldnt be common to a child. The fact that my 'position' was stressful and unsolicited didnt come into it for her, she still resented the hell out of me, but I cannot blame her for that, she was only a child herself. I think that perhaps her resentful feelings never quite went away and that all my parents children will spend the rest of forever paying for thier mistakes.In any case, I am a realist and I cannot stand this business of irrational behaviour on her part, especially when it is wound up with aggression and bullying. The last time we fell out was in 1996, she pushed me too far and I gave her a few slaps. I've never stopped regretting that, especially since we didnt speak one word to eachother after that for six years. That is what I mean when I say that our family really know how to fall out. A falling out between me and my mother lasted for nine. There is always somebody not talking to somebody, with the result that we havent all been in the same room together for seventeen years. It's very sad, but this is the reality in the adult behaviour of the children of familial dysfunction. We simply cannot relate as other families do, they are skills we never learned I suppose. I have suggested family guidance counselling, but we couldnt agree on that either, which amuses me in some warped sort of way, but hey, you have to take your entertainment where you can find it, lol!