cutters annonymous

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I actually went close to a year without cutting until recently. Something happened in my life that I couldn’t handle and the next thing I knew I my thumbnail was embedded in my arm. The damage had already been done. It’s been downhill since then, and the longest I’ve gone was about a week. I have, however, made sure that I haven’t been alone since my last post a few hours ago, so I haven’t given myself a chance to do anything bad.I don’t actually have any noticeable scars. I got lucky on that aspect, my skin doesn’t scar easily. Even the scar from my deepest cut isn’t noticeable unless I point it out and you look extremely close for it. I just wish that my son’s father wasn’t such an asshole. The whole time I was with him (4 years on and off) the thought to cut never even crossed my mind. But, he IS an asshole and abandoned my son and me. There’s a lot more than just that, but I don’t want to get into it on here. Even if he was willing to change I’ll never get back with him because of what he’s done to my son. I’m still completely in love with the bastard, but I won’t put up with his stupidity ever again.

And the pushing for me to get on drugs only pushed me to want to slice my arm, and I did, along with my thigh.Does any of this have to do with you, or is it all our fault? If you're dealing with your own life and only your own life, you can do whatever you want. But now you have a child that you're responsible for, so you don't have so much flexibility.Whether or not you're ever willing to try any kind of drugs, you need to get some counseling. If you had a broken leg, would you post here asking for advice, and saying that you refused to have anything to do with a cast? What could people tell you?You need to talk to someone in real life to help you get it together. What can anyone on a message board say? Don't worry, be happy? For the sake of your child, you need to get counseling. It's nothing to be ashamed of.

Mine didnt start very well either, just for the record.You might want to consider the reason you may be having trouble finding people who understand where you're coming from is because cutting lumps out of yourself is a seriously negative thing to do and not many people are in that zone (thank God!)As I told you I have been there (only briefly, again - thank God) and as I also told you: "If you really don’t want to take anti-depressants of course that’s your choice", so please don’t try to put it on me or anyone else here if you decide to mutilate your own body. That is a choice you are making for yourself. Nobody on here is doing that for you.I wish you all the best and hope you get well, but that'll never happen while you are trying to pass on your own accountability to others. You are the one holding the knife/glass. You need to acknowledge your own culpability before you can confront this issue.

You're not getting what she said. Simply telling someone to get on medication seems like you're just glossing over the problem by using medication. Not everyone wants to be on medication. It's so easy for non cutters to say something like, "why are you doing this to yourself? Just stop. What are you going to do if you have children?" I've heard it all before and it just makes you feel worse than you already do. Like Unsupervised said, you can't tell anyone to stop cutting and get on meds. Only they can make that decision. And telling someone that they are in control of their feelings and thoughts doesn't help either. On one hand, you do control some aspects of it. But when you're suffering from a mental illness (or an addiction, like cutting), you sometimes can't control what you're thinking and the cutting. Believe me, I'm going through it right now.

I don't think Steve told her to just get on meds. But he is correct in reminding her that she is a parent and there is a resposibility to help herself as soon and as best as possible for tha sake of her child as well as her self.

Now one of the important things that I've learned through my latest round of therapy, after the seperation, is that we are resposible for out own feelings. We can loose sight of that and thereby lose control of them. I know... easier said than done... but it's an important concept to remember.

Once someone begins to accept that they are a soverign individual unto themself, they can begin to move forward and take back that control wich was theirs.

I know I'm over simplifying but it's a basic concept. I also accept that I'm no councellor but rather just another one of the broken people in this world but I do try to share what I've learned along the way.

"You're not getting what she said. Simply telling someone to get on medication seems like you're just glossing over the problem by using medication. Not everyone wants to be on medication"You’re not getting what we said. As I've already had to reiterate to Freaksgirl: "If you really don’t want to take anti-depressants of course that’s your choice".I can’t remember anyone anywhere on here advising: 'Simply get on medication'! - That wasn’t any part of the advice that I have advocated, nor any part of the advice I have seen anyone else advocate on this thread.

You're not getting what she said. Simply telling someone to get on medication seems like you're just glossing over the problem by using medication. Not everyone wants to be on medication. The second paragraph of the post you replied to begins with this sentence: "Whether or not you're ever willing to try any kind of drugs, you need to get some counseling."If she insists on spiralling downward on her own, it's a sad thing, but it's her business. In this case, though, there is a child involved, so she needs to address the problem. By being depressed, I doubt that she can give he best to her child, and by cutting herself, she risks losing cutody.Do you think it makes more sense for her to stay on her present course, or to seek counseling of some sort?