Im not sure exactly where to post this problem but anyways...Since like half way through high school i totally lost my confidence (not sure how) and i couldnt talk to anyway except my friends that i already had, if someone talked to me i would reply with short answers that they wouldnt be able to build a conversation on.I have got a little better though im still pretty lame at being in a conversation with new people, i was just wondering if anyone could give me advice on improving my social skills because i've just started college and it would help to make friends
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No confidence
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Practice makes perfect...When ur a teenager ur brain is kinda like expanding at a rapid rate, experiances you have as a teenager will effect ur personality for your life, chances are you had some sort of experiance that made you feel unconfident for whatever reason be it friends, family or the opposite (or same) sex, physical hangups can also be a factor. If ur feeling unconfident just get in the crowd, eventually you'll feel natural there, eventually ur confidence will revert back but the key is putting urself in those awkward situations that make u feel unconfident, theres no magic answer, you know what to do.
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The above is true, the more you put yourself out there the more natural it will feel to you. I was painfully shy in primary school, but a real loudmouth by the time I got to college. Just persevere with it and dont let yourself get sabotaged by whats going on in your own head. Good luck.
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Thanks for the advice, hopefully in time i will regain confidence and wont be known as the guy that never talks!
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Well, if things get tough you can always pm me Ray, I know what it's like to be really shy and also what it's like to come out the other side of that too, so I know it can be done! xx
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I have found the passing of years to be very therapeutic. But if you can come to the same realization at a younger age, that what everyone thinks is not important, you will be ahead of the game.
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I work in the middle of a cultural shit storm and most of our training revolves around what we call "verbal judo", but it all comes with practise. Just be you and don't forget to listen and you will be fine. Lots of good people here to help ya out with years under their belt with experiences. In a couple hours I have to wake up 100+ people who any normal person wouldn't think twice about talking to, but you can learn something from anyone and conversation helps make my shift go faster
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i had this problem since as long as i can remember. then like at the end of freshamn year i got invited to join a band with three people i didnt know. well this got me started. but for another half a year i had the same problem of being quiet and not out going. then i came to a realization one day. why do i give a fuck. seriously i was worried about looking liek an idiot, but not sayign anything made me look one anyway. so i stopped giving a damn and decided to do my own thing. a lot of things have gone great from their: more friends, a hot gf i love, better social life, etc. andf some things have goen wrong: acted liek an ass sometimes on accident (i dont always think things through), ive got people who dont like me or i dont get along with. but whatever. life is so much better now.
so in conclusion. one day youll have to come to the relezation that nobody cares, and if they do why should u care.