Darlin being terrified is natural, i was terrified when i had my first child, and then terrified with i had the second, and scared stiff (for different reasons) when i had the third (spawn of satan) and for good reason LOL kids are a huge responsability..........they come with lots of baggage, but, they are also amazing............
Having childen of your own and looking after someone elses is very different obviously, but, they both bring their good point, and in some circumstances looking after someone elses is more rewarding.........but harder.
I think you have to look at the short term with this arrangement, not the long term or you will go mad............don't try and think and forsee the future (if your brother doesn't come back) that might and hopefully won't happen............take things slowly, small steps, plan on how you and your wife are going to help the lad through what will be a hard time for him, the transition from daddys care to yours and the fact daddy will be away..........this won't continue however, as kids adapt very quickly most times, so i doubt a few months down the line you will have the crying everytime he speaks to his dad, he might be a little sad but he will be used to daddy being on the fone instead of being there, and it won't be as big a deal eventually, and you WILL cope with the crying when it happens..........don't think about how you will, you just will! I've had to deal with other peoples (strangers) kids for half of my life, and its amazing how well you do cope, i used to be scared of disaplining other peoples kids, and now, well i do it to anyone of em without a thought LOL All you need are guidelines for him that are clear, and also for you and your wife to agree on thos guidelines and stick to them, easy really, it really is easier than you think, and once the kid knows what they are, most kids will push against them for a while, then give up with they know whats what.
I think men in particular find it hard to relate to small kids, cos they find it hard to loosen up and be a kid, they have to be the man and that doesn't always include being mushy, and covering their faces in mud as a joke..........however in most cases this comes suprisingly naturally once its let out LOL Don't panic, you will relate to him how you relate to him and he will expect nothing else from you........if you can't play then he will get that somewhere else and get something else from you, that was just an example...........none of us can be perfect parents, do your best and thats it........kids accept us far easier than adults do, they accept our faults and don't even see them as such.
I think the hardest part for me in your situation would be the fact that i would get too attached to the little guy, and he would be part of my family, and i know it would hurt when he went back to his dad, however, you have to be thankful for the things he has or will brought into your life, and vice versa..........there will be times when you want to kill him.......tear your hair out.........scream till you can't scream anymore, and sit and cry cos you don't know how to handle him or what to do...........and then there will be the times when he hugs you for no reason, a smile, a i love you and all the other times will be forgotten............i really do think that you and your wife will come out the other side better, enriched people, who think maybe slightly differently to how they did before......for the better, and hey if its for the worst then thats another lesson learned but the other side of the coin..........everything happens for a reason, for good or bad.
Theres no need to feel guilty about being pissed off at your brother, or for seeming selfish in the way you are thinking about how yours and your wifes life with change.........its perfectly natural its a HUGE thing that will happen, and not having kids you will find it hard to find any good points never mind focus on them..........but there will be, beleive me.
there is no point me bullshitting you and saying that everything will be roses, cos it won't, you will have some hard times ahead of you, you will wonder if you are a good enough parent figure and to be honest sometimes you won't be, none of us are whether the kids are biologicaly ours or not! But you WILL be a good role model for him, even if its to show that people do things sometimes they don't want to do, and that family and what it means is more important sometimes than ourselves singularly..........but i promise you, you will have those times that make you smile.........whether they are often or just once or twice will depend on the kid, and life to be honest, but they will be there, and deep down you know you are doing the right thing, taking him in, whether you like it or not.........so there you see, you already have something to teach him about life, have faith in yourself hon, and hey if you find you're tearing your hair out, drop me a line and i'll pass on my tried and tested tecnique of tying em up and locking em in a cupboard LMAO cuddles
PS...........sorry if i was wafflin on i kept losing track on what i was saying the kids were making so much noise.....ooops sorry maybe i shouldn't say that LOL kiss
PPS.......bloody hell would you look at the amount of words in this post YAY me.................
Get a taste of Old Time Religion..........lick a witch grin<br />