He can't reject me and then compliment me!!

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Well, we all know I am not only socially retarded but I'm also very confused when it comes to the male species... and I'm not just talking about the whole 'hair everywhere' issue either! lol Why must they be so damn complicated? I mean, it always seems harder to start a conversation with a guy than it is to change a flat tire on my car... doesn't that seem weird to anyone else? Maybe I'm over complicating things or I should stop thinking so hard lol Eh, what can I say? It's a problem I have!

Anyways, I finally took my handy dandy balls of steel I keep in a jar on my shelf and decided lastnight was the night I was going to throw caution to the wind and let this guy know how I feel about him. I've wanted to tell him for years but I always stepped aside for the other ladies and allowed myself to just be the "sweet caring best friend who always has a shoulder to cry on when needed" person-thing. I decided that it was time to finally let him know so I called him and asked to him to meet me at the store I work at after work because I needed to talk to him about something. Well I had my balls in my purse (where else would I carry them?) and I was waiting for him to show up and I was damn near going crazy on the inside! I kept doing the "Oh my gawd! What am I going to say? Oh no, what if...." and then it hit me... I've been friends with him for ages and I've talked and hung out with him more times than I can count so why am I nervous? Didn't know... well he finally shows up and we're sitting in his truck and I go completely blank! I had no idea what I would say or how to say it (I think my balls fell out on my walk to his truck). Finally after several minutes of uncomfy silence I blurted out "I know I'm neurotic, I can be a little off at times, and I'm a complete and total nut case most of the time, and you've seen me at my best and my worst. I've got to tell you this and I don't know how... I like you, I like you a lot and I don't know what to do about it." And do you know what I got in return for the first few minutes? Silence... nothing but silence. And then he finally spoke five minutes later and by this time I'm about to pass out because I was holding my breath and didn't realize I was and he tells me he feels the same but (why is there always a but??!?) he was afraid that he'd hurt me and that he was actually thinking of moving off to Florida.

Well we sat and talked... well he talked and I blubbered like a fool... and he tells me that's I'm beautiful and wonderful, and perfect, and that he doesn't want to hurt me, that we'll be closer friends because of this and that he doesn't want to rush into anything but through out the whole conversation all I got was and huge headache and still no answer to what I was wanting to know. He told me he liked me, he didn't want to hurt me, told me I was beautiful, basically said we'll just be friends, and then he ended up saying we 'might' go out saturday night... :confused: What in the hell is the matter with this guy? He rejected me and in the same sentence complimented me and then turned around and said he 'might' be free saturday night and that he 'might' be moving off to where ever and all this other crap and now I'm completely confused and angry because he really bruised my ego lastnight. Grrrrrrr! Sorry, I just really needed to rant.... if anyone has any advice I could use some right now... :scream_cat:

well maybe he "rejected" you for fear of damaging the friendship in the long run, or because he was thinking of moving to florida, then complimented you in an attempt to let you know he wasnt saying he doesnt like you or something along those lines

Sorry to hear about all that hun, but glad to hear that you spoke up and told him how you feel, I know that's a big step for you!!Now just take it a day at a time. He now knows how you feel and you... to a point... know how he feels. It might take him awhile to really digest what was said. He said he might move to FL, what if he doesn’t? Might be something worth mentioning to him eventually, after he has time to really digest what was said.To me it sounds like he likes you, just confused about his feelings and worried that it might ruin the friendship that you two have. You’ll both have to decide if it’s worth taking the jump and start a relationship from the friendship, that’s something only you two can decide together.

Hey there Katie,Sorry to hear that, hun. Being a guy, I will give you a direct read of what happened to the best of my ability, but remember, hun, I don't have hair everywhere so my male speak reading abilities may not be quite so advanced.It sounds like he was caught off guard and made an ill-conceived, ill-fated, blundered attempt to let you down easy.As for the "might be free" that was most likely, "she's crying. It's because of me. What can I say to make her stop crying."Again sorry hun. That's just the way it sounds to me. Hope I'm wrong. And like I said, I'm not hairy, hell I only shave about once every 8 or 10 days, and I wasn't there so I could easily be wrong.

I finally told him how I felt (which was a huge step for me, it took a lot of me to do that) because I finally realized how much I took him for granted. I always expected him to be there, to always be around when I needed him, and I finally realized that if I waited any longer I would lose him for good so I had to say something just so he would know because I couldn't stand to see him walk away from me and not know where my heart was. We talked for several hours and I told him all the reasons I didn't say anything sooner, that I hated feeling like I was having to compete with someone from his past. I know he has feelings for me but he doesn't want to hurt me and I know that but why can't he let me decide if it'll hurt me or not? He is my best friend and I can talk to him about anything and now I'm sitting here confused as hell not knowing what to do or what to say and I feel so foolish and I can't help it.

In reply to:As for the "might be free" that was most likely, "she's crying. It's because of me. What can I say to make her stop crying." Well I know I'm blubbering wind bag, and I do get teary-eyed from time to time when I'm doing my best to get something off my chest that has been bugging me for sometime. He started cracking jokes and he wiped my tears away and he held my hand as I told him all I needed to say... and I guess I'll just have to take it one day at a time... I just feel so silly right now...

Don't ever feel silly for taking a chance, hun...The future is still unwritten. Only time will tell what may happen.

I second what Scotty said:>Don't ever feel silly for taking a chance, hun...The future is still unwritten. Only time will tell what may happen.

Hi hun. I so suck at relationships and trying to figure out how a guy feels about me. (darn you confusing men )I am not really sure what to tell you. But I did want to congratulate you on taking this big step and letting him know how you feel. I can't help but wonder if maybe he doesn't want to get attached to you and then end up moving to Florida.

I see what you mean, this is very similar to what happened with me last night. Most importantly though, he now knows how you feel and that means that something might happen. You sucked up the courage and told him, and that's the best thing you could've done for yourself. I couldn't imagine, in my case, continuing to not tell her how I feel because it was agonizing to spend time with her and be so happy but continue to want to be closer with her and frustrated with myself at the same time.Best of luck to both of us. You're very courageous to meet him face to face and talk about it.

Now he's told me we're going out to the movies saturday evening and that I had better not back out of it... this is driving me nutty! pulls hair out

Congratulations As a guy whose sort've been in a similiar situation I can tell ya a few things.1) The guy obviously has a lot of emotion for you. Whether or not you guys end up dating you should know he probably loves you incredibly! 2) His huge pause when you first told him can mean two radically different things. One, He totally feels the same way but was either too scared of ruining a friendship if it failed or thought perhaps you didn't feel the same way. Two, He doesn't feel the same way but he cares a lot about you so he needed a few moments to turn you down as gently as he could because he really wants you as a good friend still.3) Might be best to clarify this "date" this weekend. Are you going as friends? bf/gf? or testing the waters?Honestly, you both sound like pretty cool people so I'm personally putting my money on a relationship forming

YAY thats a good thing............right?

Now he's told me we're going out to the movies saturday evening and that I had better not back out of it... this is driving me nutty! pulls hair out YAY! See, what did I tell ya!

Well, whatever you do dont dive on him and snog him on the night in question! You've already made your feelings clear, so leave it to him to make the next move, otherwise he could end up feeling pressured and as though the development of things were beyond his control, and men dont like feeling that way, believe me - it has an adverse affect on their mental state!

Well, how did the date go??