I told my mom I lost my virginity, she's mad, help

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So i had posted on a different forum asking if i needed to tell my mom about losing my virginity.
Yeah well I finally told her and lets just say it did not go over well. At first i thought she took it fine, but a few hours later (i had gone to visit my bf) and I got the fun of getting yelled at all the way home in the car about how she was f*cking disappointed in me, how she raised me better, how i lied to her about birth control, and how I never talked to her about it. (which is not true, I guess she didnt realize I was serious when I talked to her). And that she should have never trusted me leaving us alone when she did (which was hardly at all until after we had already had sex), and that she'd never have an ounce of trust left in me. I made the comment so much for not being pissed off? (earlier that day I had been really really considerate and tried to make sure she was ok and talk but she didnt want to) and she slapped me as we were walking into the house and told me i was the biggest bitch and i needed to move out with my boyfriend. Then when I got in the house after all that, she expected me to be in the mood to talk. And well i wasnt frankly after that conversation. But she talked anyways while crying for over an hour and a half, basically saying the same stuff about how she was disappointed, how she failed me for not preventing it, and on and on. So that was a great night. She told me I had no right to make that decision and that it wasnt mine to make. I should have respected that she wouldn't have liked me having sex etc. So I don't know. I think it would have been better to keep my mouth shut..... Any words of advice?

This morning I got it again as soon as I woke. "Why did you have it so soon?" "Why did you let him talk you into it?" (It wasn't his idea it was mine he never even mentioned the subject until i brought it up) "Now i have an adult in my house thats 16. If his parents find out they will lose all respect for you, as it is I don't have much." She said a bunch more other than that, but I guess I just don't know what to think. I could use some advice.

I know that parents don't really like to talk about this topic, I'm 18 and my mother blushes now when i ask her, "where do babies come from?" (I know perfectly well lol) sex is still one of those topics that some parents feel a little uncomfortable talking about. She should come round a bit, once she realises that it's an important part of development. You could be your life that your mom is no angel either...... hee hee, it could be her teenage memories resurfacing. Don't worry, she's your mom, she'll understand and although she might be potecting you from growing up too quickly, just remember, she would have your best interests at heart.

Just thought that this was HILARIOUS!!!! my friend just text me

"A little girl walks into her parents bedroom, "BLOODY HELL!!!" she screams,
"And you want me to see a doctor about sucking my thumb!!!!"

See, even your mom did it once (or a billion), and there you sit LMAO :grin:

I assume you live in North America; I'm not sure where your mom thinks she lives, but sex at 16 is not exactly a bizarre and rare occurance. When you first told her, she was in shock and denial, but when she finally reacted, she went over the top. Slapping you was not acceptable.She feels like she failed, so she's upset. She needs time to deal with it.

Your mum is shocked, there is no doubt of that, and it is perfectly acceptable to be shocked. She just found out that her baby girl (its probably how she thinks of you) has just given away her innocence. But the things that she is saying are unnacceptable. I would guess that she is quite prudish about sex, or she lost her virginity very young or in not-so-memorable circumstances.

You said you talked about sex before and she didn't seem to take you seriously. Did you mention this to her? And how did you lie to her about your birth control - did you tell her that you weren't taking it or did you just never tell her that you were?

We talked a lot about sex when my boyfriend and I had been going out for about two months, I told her I would probably lose my virginity to him, but I didn't know when it would happen. We talked a lot, she told me her views how it was best to wait etc, but she also told me in these exact words it was my life and my decision to make. She lost her virginity at 18 to a married guy that said he would be with her forever or something, so maybe thats why she's reacting like this. I mentioned I felt going on birthcontrol might be good as a prevention, she never made any intiative to put me on it, so I asked if I could be put on it for my boobs (I have very small boobs and I really did want birthcontrol for that purpose, however I also knew it would help in the long run if my bf and I ended up having sex). She even drove me to the teen clinic to get them, so I didn't get them behind her back. She acted like she knew what they were for, so when she accused me of lying about it, I was shocked. I had pretty much told her. I never told her sooner than this, that I had sex, because I was afraid of an reaction like this. In fact I denied it a couple times, but I do not like lying to my mom, and killed me a little inside. I came out and told, when I finally got the courage, but the reaction was not good. She told me even if I wasnt having sex, just messing around (like everything but sex) she would still be mad, but that contradicts what she had told me months earlier, she said I could do everything but sex, however sex was very special and should be thought about. Now she is going to restrict me from seeing my bf, I won't be able to be alone with him, he won't get to spend the night (which he slept downstairs far away from me, when he did spend the night) and she told me that he would be led to cheat on me because she would not let me have sex with him. And since I gave it up, he was gonna want it more and more and would go looking for it. So right now I really don't know what to think.

I can understand where she is coming from in some ways. She lost her baby girl, I have grown up rather quickly. But I didn't go out partying and get drunk and have sex, I'm not a drug addict, I dont do drugs, I'm not pregnant. I'm having safe protected sex, I carry condoms, birth control, the morning after pill, etc around 24/7. I didn't let any one convince me or pressure me into sex, it was completely my idea, my bf didn't even care (he was a virgin too and had not a had a lot of experience before either). I also had sex with some one who I feel I know very well and love, I didn't take the decision lightly, I thought about it a lot. So I guess I just wish she would she would respect that I made the decision, and I can't change it. I dont expect her to support it or not to bed sad, but I don't want to constantly hear her about being disappointed in me. I can't change it, its over with, I'm no longer a virgin. I don't think this should ruin our relationship and trust completely.

Your mother is reacting terribly to this, especially considering how mature you appear to have been in making the decision and staying safe.

I'm one for confronting my parents when they are out of line. If I was in your position, I would tell her how her aggressive behaviour is not helping at all. Giving out to you cannot change what you've done, nor can separating you from your boyfriend. Unless she has a valid reason (and from what you've told us, she doesn't), she is in no place to ruin your relationship with him. You told her before that you were interested in pursuing a sexual relationship and she told you that you could as long as you save sexual intercourse for someone special. You belive that you did and I'm presuming that you did it in a safe environment, completely of your own free will and desire. She may not like it and it will take her a while to deal with it fully, but the way she is reacting now will only make things worse for everyone involved.

Well, why would you tell her in the first place? I guess it's different for girls. When she says something again, she say something along the lines of "You were only person who I could talk to about this, I guess I was wrong!" and start crying. That should help (that kinda stuff usually works with me).