In reply to:
It seems the popular question recently is something to the effect of, "how do I avoid the friends ladder and climb the dating ladder?"
It starts early in the process. When you first meet a girl, don't try too hard. Really listen to what she has to say. Avoid bragging or talking about yourself too much. Feed her a little information, and leave it at that. Keep a mysterious element. If you've got her wanting to know more, there's a better chance that she'll hang out with you one on one... essentially a date.
The one-on-one session (date) is where a lot of guys have a problem. I think I'll post a thread about this in fact...
I thought this would be helpful for some of these guys who are getting stuck on the friends ladder all the time. I've been there done that. I hated it, so I did something about it.
Here's to the nice guys:
The spending game:
1. Do not try to buy her heart. When you go out on a first date, don’t lavish her with gifts, flowers, fine dining, etc. Ask yourself, “does she really deserve it?” Generally on a first date, you don’t really know her enough to know the answer to that question. You don’t want to come off as a cheap bastard either. So if it comes to something cheap, like a small cup of coffee, don’t make it into something trivial.
2. Do not reward bad behavior without mention. She shows up late to your date, you put on that fake smile, and you buy her meal without anything to say about it. Are you going to let her use you like that? A lot of guys do. Pointing out that she was late can even be fun. For example, with a smile on your face, say “It’s about time. You know, the night just started and you’ve already been a bad girl.” You may even throw in a “Looks like you’ll have to make it up to me, what do you think?”
3. Let the date be about YOU and NOT your MONEY. A good first date would be something like meeting up for coffee and maybe afterwards a stroll through a nearby park. First dates that give you a chance to talk and get to know each other, without having to spend an arm and a leg, are good ideas.
The good, the bad, and the different:
1. You want to be a nice guy, but don’t be too much of a nice guy. Guys who are trying to be too nice are overly conscious about offending the girl he’s with. In this state, it’s not uncommon for the guy to be hesitant, boring, and nervous.
2. You don’t want to be a jerk, but you do want to use certain characteristics of a jerk to your advantage. A jerk is generally relaxed because he doesn’t care if he offends the girl he’s with. RELAXED is the key word. A jerk has a fun element to him. For example, he may smack his date’s ass or decide to do something spontaneous and funny to entertain himself. FUN is the key word.
3. The different is what girls are generally looking for. You don’t want to offend anyone, but you also need to be relaxed. She’s a person too. Stop trying so hard and caring so much about whether or not you’ll succeed with this particular girl. You never really fail because every date is a learning experience. Keep this state of mind and it will help you relax. If you’re relaxed, it’s much easier to have fun.
Chivalry is alive and well
1. First of all, understand what common chivalry is. Opening and closing the car door, holding doors open and letting her go first, complimenting her on what she’s wearing, and holding her hand while going down a stair case are good examples of displaying chivalry.
2. Don’t extend small acts of chivalry into something bigger than what it is. A guy can be who is completely chivalrous can also be the perfect gentleman… The only thing about this is “perfect” is generally boring. Have FUN. When you open her door for her cross your eyes and look at her or after holding her hand down a staircase go in for a little tickle fight.
3. Small chivalrous acts give off many signs of having good character. If you open doors for her and hold her hand down stair cases, most likely you’re also the kind of guy that will take care of her when she’s sick.
There's a lot more to it... but just to get you started with SOMETHING. The funnest part is finding what works for you!