ok, basically, i found out two of my best friends where molested when they where young. my very best friend told me yesterday. they both seem well adjusted, but i dunno, its weird now. i feel i cant joke about stuff like molestation and gay rape (im not sick in the head or anything, i mean stuff like 'if you where in prison youd get fucked up the ass') which teenage boys always do. and obviously i cant tell anyone but its a lot to deal with.also, im bi curious, kind of, and when i was not much younger, i had a kind of naive friend. i never touched him wrongly, but sometimes id wrestle him down. he was pretty ugly too, but i feel so weird about it. i dunno if he'll even remember when hes older, its so insignificant. still, help anyone?
Friends where molested
Yes, it would be best not to tell those sort of jokes in their presence.People who have been sexually abused often have a problem with authority - they can't takle people telling them to do things, and it's very important to suggest things rather than giving orders. But your friends may have been affected less - people differ in how well they cope with trauma.If the friend you fooled around with didn't know you were interested in him, I can't see how he could be affected. Even if he were, I don't see any real problem. It's the misuse of authority and power that causes damage.
Why and how did you find out?Did they tell you because they think your behavior is offensive? Or did they tell you just because they trust you. Obviously if they are your best friends, they like your company and such. Be respectful, but I don't think your being harmful in SOME of the joking around. Definatly don't do it if they tell you it hurts them somehow...tough subject to bring up, but you could appologize in case your being offensive, and see what their reaction is..
"Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind." -- Theodor Seuss Geisel