a girl at my high school told me that she cuts. her parents know and aren't doing anything. I want to help but don't know what to say to her. I want to make her happy but she doesn't want to be happy
While its decent u wanna help this girl, i dout you can really help her as her problems are most likely deeper than ur able to help her with.
All you can do is listen to her, support her and be proactive in getting her the right professional help.
Cutting is usually done for a reason. They usually aren't great reasons, but the cutter feels justified in the reason they have. The best thing you can do is listen to her like Max said. Make sure you let her know she has someone she can talk to and trust. Don't badger her about it or tell her that what she's doing is wrong, since you most likely won't get her to change her mind by arguing with her. Just calmly ask her about why she does it and what triggers her to do so. If you talk to her long enough she may be able to trust you and then you can try more to help her stop hurting herself.
I hope that helped... or at least made sense.
"Happily taken and protected by the man I love and who I know loves me." <3</b></font color>
I am not sure of the situation ...however cutting can be done for a number of reasons
1) for attention
2) due to depression ( of many forms )
as for her family .. well she could just be saying they know so that no-one will think of informing them... however this is easily tested generally by asking her a quesstion in the format so "if i for ie spoke to your Mum about it she would know what was going on right ?"
As for wanting to help her it is not so easy. The main thing she may need is just someone to listen to her problems. As for not knowing what to say .... its ok to say that !
finnally on making her happy .... some cutters have a mindset in which it is thought that they shouldnt or wont be happy.
How old are you both out of interest?
Do you have an in school councellor ?
Do you know if she has told anyone else?
<img src="/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/smile.gif" alt=":)" title="smile" height="15" width="15" /> a smile on the outside to often is saddness...
I've seen lots of "reasons" given by cutters. I wonder how much of it is a rationalization for something that's very deeply rooted, and may have (at least in part) a biological basis. Skepticism is warranted any time someone tries to explain their own compulsive behavior.
<i>Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter.</i> -- MLK
I used to cut. and I used to do it because I was depressed. I cut myself a few months ago(Probubly back in November) and The blade I was using wouldnt cut through, because of all the scaring. eventualy it did, and I dont even know why I did it. Sometimes, people just cut for no reason at all. Its just something their probubly used to doing all the time, and cant quite the habbit. but I got help from alot of people when I was really depressed back then. The best advice I can give you is to talk to her, and listen, dont pretend to listen, really listen. And hang out with her outside of school if she doesnt seem really social. People who cut really need some friends. Take her for lunch or, if theres a store by your school, walk there at lunch and stuff, and just talk about everything on the way there.
If she ever cries, be a shoulder, dont try to force her away, like i said, people who cut need some friends.