I just wanted to say thanks to everyone for helping me out so much.I kinda went into one of my PTSD attacks last week, about someone who found me here. I have only 2 ex's that are ever any trouble. One is my ex husband. The other an ex boyfriend...who is the culprit. I don't know that he is really scary to me, just battles that I do not wish to fight.I doubt he is regestered, that is why I am posting here...I have decided to stay Pepsi..for all of those who were actually trying to think up another appropriate name..I like it, and F***! off to the jerk who did what he did.I wanted SO badly to post a nasty thing up in the depression forum, which is where the guy found what he found in order to harass me...He ALWAYS had a habit of kicking me while I was down.We rarely argued when I was sober, because I could put up a valid fight. I could put up a valid fight while drinking though too...HOWEVER knowing my weakness, he used my drinking for power. He would happily bring home an 18pack, and wait for me to have a few, then the attack was on..What drunk, is going to be able to defend themselves to this attack: "Your drunk, you don't have a clue what your talking about." I somehow could rationalize that. But sober, I won every argument, could chew him up and spit him out, with the VERY words I used the night before. HAHA, I have witnesses to attest to this.This depression issue, is VERY similar. He knows I am down, and my fight is minimal. He knows, well enough, that I will usually do what ever it takes to make the painful situation go away.I am tired of running guys. I have faught my way through a maze of "cover my ass" "protect myself" and "do what I can to put it behind me"...Well, I guess, I am tired of it. It isn't "going away" I have not been able to run. The best revenge is success they say...So what will my sucess be? For now, it will be growing the back bone to stop dodging bullets that I can catch in my teeth. I am not perfect, but no one is. I am tired of things I am actually working on being used against me.So, to the whiney insecure, fat man, whos skin is falling off (EB (epidermis boulosa)for those who wish to google my reference) I say, I tried to love you, with all your shortcomming, but now, I owe you nothing, you took more than your share from me, and I am no longer letting you have anything!!!
-
Oooops!
-
Good on you, Pepsi!
-
LOL< those I harassed know what I am talking about...Just that the ex bf (been broke up almost a year) found out some stuff about me in the depression forum, and used it to "kick me while I was down". I was gonna resign the Pepsi name, to keep him off my back.
-
You go girl, and let me know if theres anything i can do cuddle
-
LOL, I woke up at 4:30 this morning, I bet it has something to do with going to court today with the ex husband...
The jerk! Got 18 thousand dollars from the house selling, and since he is a regestered offender, he has to see his daughter in supervised conditions, with HER counselor. He says he has "other things planned for the $" and he refuses to pay for it. So it is a power trip, and the court will see right through it. Not too worried, but it is always stressful to face him. He ALWAYS loses his temper there, and the bailiff escorts me to my car. I don't know why the judge doesn't have him arrested sometimes.
Anyway, I went through some of my old posts...GAWD alot has not changed for me. Circumstances have, but I have not. I guess it is one of those things that "where ever you go, there you are"....
It is horrible to see how something (or someone) can chew at you long enough, that you "conform" to it and become something without even realizing it.
Thanks Helms for that little bit of reading. I don't know that I like it...lol, it means I have something to do. But if I can see what the battle is, YAY...I might win yet.
Angel, keep reminding me to not be such a wimp :wink:
-
Darlin, wimp is not something i would use to describe you good luck in court, hope you don't have to be escorted out of the building but if thats what it takes, then don't let the dickhead get to ya, we're all here
-
Haha, Angel, I guess that it is that I keep making the same mistakes over and over, just with a different flair..lol What I was getting at, is, I guess I have to look at who and what I am, and not so much where I live, how much money I can make...or who I do battle with...It kinda rolls into the kiddos too...what am I REALLY doing to them, what am I teaching for reals. That plain old survival is good enough? Shouldn't I be teaching them to succeed? I need to be the adult that I want them to be...
-
This is why you are superwoman! *big hugs* Your post is very inspiring to me.
-
TY! But on a lighter note...I got this in my email this morning!!!Enjoy.>> I am passing this on to you because it definitely works, and we could>> all use a little more calmness in our lives. By following simpleadvice>> heard on the Dr. Phil show, you too can find inner peace.>>>> Dr. Phil proclaimed, "The way to achieve inner peace is to finish all>> the things you've started and never finished.">>>> So, I looked around my house to see all the things I started andhadn't>> finished, and before leaving the house this morning, I finished offa>> bottle of Merlot, a bottle of White Zinfandel, a bottle of Bailey's>> Irish Cream, a bottle of Kahlua, a package of Oreos, the remainderof my>> old Prozac prescription, the rest of the cheesecake, some Doritosand a>> box of chocolates.>>>> You have no idea how freaking good I feel. Please pass this on tothose>> you feel might be in need of inner peace.>>>> HAVE A GREAT DAY!
-
double post..ha ha, NOT!!!I won...she is safe. Talk to all of you tomorrow!!!