I am afraid I have fallen for a guy who only considers me at best as a friend. I do have the opportunity to speak to him and everything, but I am scared if I let my feelings known he will tell me he doesn't feel the same way and break my heart. I know it sounds pathetic, but since I have not known him long, I would rather stay friends to avoid rejection. I noticed there was a thread in another section giving details on how to get off the friends ladder, but that was only what guys should do. What should girls do to get the guy?
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How to get the guy
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just wait till its the right time and tell him how you feel, hes not gonna think your wierd...
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The ladder theory would indicate that your situation is much simpler. Either the guy is attracted to you and therefore would want to be with you or he's not and passes up. Though, I don't think it's this simple.
Your problem is not much different from what a lot of guys face day to day.
In reply to:
but I am scared if I let my feelings known he will tell me he doesn't feel the same way and break my heart.
In reply to:
I would rather stay friends to avoid rejection
These fears are all too common, especially among males it seems. Remember, rejection from another person does not necessarily mean it's because there's something about you that needs to change. If you know you're a good person and you accept yourself as who you are, then someone that you've known for a short time should not hold such power to break your heart. It's a perception that's chewing at you, and perhaps this perception is what needs to change.
My advice is to establish rapport with him and find out how he feels. Take on the more aggressive, goal-oriented side of yourself.
The problem with "good guys" is most of them have problems in pursuing what they want. Or some guys just don't pursue because they're "out of their league", which basically means this is a fear of rejection and a feeling of low chance for success.
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ok I am a guy that has many girls that may lik me and the girl that i lik, doesn't lik me. an I know this is fustrating, you wanna get him but u can't an not ready for it, am i right? well, i guess so. this is wat u should do just try to be sweet and HOT,sexy sometimes only, because if u do that too often u will scare him. oh and try to know everything about him.
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I think that you should just hang out with him, like go to the movies, etc. Once you feel comfortable around him If you dont already then let him know that you think he is a cool guy and you would like to date him and take it from there.
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In reply to:
i am afraid I have fallen for a guy who only considers me at best as a friend. I do have the opportunity to speak to him and everything, but I am scared if I let my feelings known he will tell me he doesn't feel the same way and break my heart. I know it sounds pathetic, but since I have not known him long, I would rather stay friends to avoid rejection. I noticed there was a thread in another section giving details on how to get off the friends ladder, but that was only what guys should do. What should girls do to get the guy?
well, this is kind of a tricky one. Truth be told, if you want to get this guy, well, either do the whole, ignore him a little, playing hard to get thing, or just be open and honest with your feelings after a while (because he may have feelings for you and just not realize it. telling someone you like them can initiate returned feelings of the same kind) i recommend the latter. Just remember this: that guy has definetly felt the way you do about someone in the past, afraid of letting them know how he feels. Men and women are more alike in ways like this than youd think. Just relax and youll be fine :smile:
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I don't advise playing hard to get if you have no clue wether he likes you or not. If you did play hard to get more than likely nothing will change, you're going to have to try and 'pursue' him if you want to get him, it's not as hard as it sounds though.