Getting over her...

---

Hey all, sorta new here, just wanted some advice, and a place to vent. My girlfriend broke up with me 6 months ago and I am having a real tough time letting go, I want to get over her and move on, but Im finding it very difficult.We went out for 2 years and both agree it was a wonderful relationship. We share some of the same groups of friends, so I see her every now and then at the bar, and it's super hard for me when I see her, but I hide it well.We get free councilling at college and I acutally went to a few sessions a couple months ago, but didn't seem to help.Last night we ran into each other, and sort of hungout for most of the night at a local pub, it was fun. Afterwards she called me and told me she felt "mutual" about something I had talked with her about a while back (basically me missing her I wishing things could be the way they use to). It got my hopes up and today when I talked to her I misinterpreted it, and she mean't she wishes we could hang out and be friends, all that jazz.Basically, there is no future bewtween us, and I accept that no matter how shitty that is to say. I want to move on and be happy. I think about her almost every day, and have nightmares about her and other guys some nights. Im filled with jealously a lot and I dont want to be like this anymore, I just want to let go.Anyone out there been "walking with a ghost"? How did you end this cycle and clear the demons from ur head (thats what it feels like)? Thanks for listening.

I once went out with a girl who i fell for pretty hard. We dated for awhile and out of the blue she ended it and said she wasnt ready (which was a lie). Pretty much i was crushed and didnt know how to get over it.

I continued to see her every few days and hangout and we would still fool around and stuff, and i tried to "get us back together" in the end it didnt work.

I realized i couldnt get over it until i cut off all ties to her, we ended up getting in a huge fight anyway but not talking to her at all or seeing her at all got me over her within a month or two.

My advice, if you know you arent going to get back together i would just cut off all ties. If you still want to be friends thats cool but give it a few months so you can get over it. In the end time heals all wounds.

As far as the what does it feel like part. It feels like hell and like you will never find another girl like her again, and that shes the only one for you and you will dwell on this and convince yourself its true. But there is always someone else out there for you. My next relationship came a year and a half later and it was with the best girl ive ever met in my life, we fell in love and things have been going great since.

You will find another girl like her, or better, it just takes time my friend. Wish you the best of luck and maybe in the end yourself and she can be friends one day.

-Fighter

Thanks for the reply man. Yeah I've been kinda leaning towards to whole isolation thing, it just sucks when I run into her or something, it's like I'm starting all over again. Does anyone else have any experiences to share, I'd be interested, as there have got to be some people out there who have taken it hard like I have?

My ex left me for another guy. A real creeper, too (and I know I can't convince anyone that, I'll just ask you take my word for it :)). I didn't know this at the time of the break up.In an effort to begin moving on, the next day I decided to get some of my stuff back. (Not stuff I gave to her, my stuff.) I knock on the door, see it's open, and wham, catch her and that other guy in an interesting position (not to mention missing some essential clothing articles). Needless to say, I was so angry with the entire situation that it helped me through a lot of it. However, after about 2 weeks, the anger wore off, and the, "What's wrong with me" syndrome set in.Well, not having her around, it was pretty easy to slowly begin to move on, see other people, regain some self-image. If anything, her leaving me for little to no reason made me feel better about myself. It gave me the opportunity to look at myself objectively to see what "might be wrong" and I came to the conclusion: absolutely nothing Perhaps a little arrogant, yes, but I like me, so that's kinda important.It's important to note, for the next section of the story, that the guy she left me for is my friend's roommate. (that's how they met). Friend and I were going to watch Disturbia (good film, by the way) and we open his door, blam, second time I walk in on my ex and her obese boyfriend. That kinda swept it all back to me. I even made a post on here that night, but by the next day, I was back to getting down with my bad self, and felt pretty good.The moral fro my very pointless break up story is: it really is much better to just cut ties, go off on your own. The only reason you want to stay friends now is because of that hope to get back with her. I'll be honest, my ex was extremely awesome to hang out with, but for one, it wouldn't be worth it, and for two, I hate her guts.As a side note, I was talking with an old friend for a few weeks, and met her yesterday after a very long time, and after all the talking and such beforehand, I guess she apparently liked me. I would assume that's why I had company still when I woke up this morning You'll be fine, just keep your chin up. You'll find someone else.

dude same hereshe ended it out of the blue, thot id never get over it (this was around august)then im on facebook and she tells me about this girl who was interested in me, she supposedly knew her. after like 3 weeks when i just started getting in to it and actually getting the normal crush thing, a friend tells me the whole thing is a joke, and that the girl isnt realnow im bak where i started, ready to fucking shoot myself at any given moment

Don't get me wrong, I particularly love having a girl around, but I would never shoot myself over one. It would be so very pointless with so many girls around in this world. I can understand how in High school, your options are limited to the few girls in your school, but as you get older, your options grow considerably. Just wait it out, you'll feel fine eventually, and you'll find another girl. Girls are easy to get, they're just hard to keep, and hard to be worth keeping sometimes. That last point: not worth keeping: is the only major factor that limits the girls you want to get. Obviously if she broke up with you for no reason, then she's a bitch and she is different than who you thought she was. You just never knew it. Then she tricks you? Dude..that chick isn't worth or sweaty socks, let alone your suicide.

Hey thanks for the reply guys. Shadoww this message is for you buddy. First off, i appreciate you giving me a reply when your going through such a hard situation. I no times get shitty man, and believe me when i say I have thought about suicide before, but dont give in to that bullshit man. Your too damn good for that shit. Ive had thses thoughts a lot, thinking i cant go on without her type shit, and I mean i was really depressed. Im starting to get over it (starting), and one day your gunna wake up and feel the same thing. We will get through this horse shit big guy, hang in there, cuz im gunna be doing the same thing.

I went through it over 10 years ago with a girl I really cared for. The good thing is that I got over it, as one should. Also, we are good friends still, we have the same group of friends as well.She married and moved to Cinncinati OH. but we still email eachother. Her and my current GF actually hit it off, and made good friends (I know, weird). If it's in the books, meaning destined to happen, you will remain friends, if it's not, well you won't. No need to go overboard over a girl.I knew these two in Highschool both flute players in the school band, a guy and a girl. The guy had a real crush on the girl, and I can't remember if he asked her out and she rejected him, or if they actually were going out and she broke up with him. Anyway the guy committed suicide, and even back then I was like, WTF. We are so young and have so many life experiences ahead of us, why would anyone consider suicide over rejection from one person. What doesn't kill us makes us stronger, but it unfortunately killed him.

I guess I'll share my nightmare too:Boy and girl meet. Boy and girl fall in love. Boy rips girls heart out and proceeds to perform some kind of ominous ritual hat dance upon it.Seriously though, I loved him and part of me still does. A part of me always will. There will always be a big piece of my heart that will belong to him and only to him. I don't wish him anything terrible although I think the way things went down (looking back) was pretty bad.In any case, what's done is done and there is no taking it back. The only thing you can is pick up the pieces of what was left and move on. The pain does get better although it may never fully resolve. What you can do though is learn from the experience and try not to make the same mistakes the next time. If it's meant to be they'll be back. But don't sit at home and waste your life away. I went out with my friends when my ex did what he did. I leaned on them and they helped carry me and I became great friends with a fantastic person who's helped me a lot along the broken road I've been traveling.In any case, as I said above, lean on your friends. Your true friends will be the ones who help carry you through your rough time. It may not seem like it now, but there is a purpose and plan for everything that happens to you. It will all come full cicle and work out the way it's supposed to.