Dad keeps walking in my room w/o knocking

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Originally Posted By: Grvtykllrdad requires a 3.0 or betterno offense but i can't stand parents that handle grades that way

Originally Posted By: IneligibleThe "my house, my stuff" argument has never seemed to me valid. Once you have a child you take up obligations to raise that child reasonably. You can't starve the child because it's your food; you can't make the child sleep outside in the snow because it's your house; and I think a certain level of privacy is also an obligation. I think we'd both agree on that, Chance, though we would disagree on how far that would go.What worries me is that sometimes a parent is hoping to catch the child in sexual activity, for reasons that have nothing to do with good parenting. I hope that isn't the case here. amen lol

What would you rather they do?

WOW...I can't wait till you have your own. (sarcasm). If you really raise yours like that. BE WARE. I respect others like I respect my children. IT IS EARNED. They are fed, they are clothed, and they are educated (it is my duty) Mental illness, adds additional responsibility... In my county...If you screw up. That is the best your gonna get. DEAL. I am not my kids friend...But I can be, if they fallow the rules. Welcome to real life.

Well, I have my own, Pepsi. I don't think it has gone badly.No parent can expect to be their kids' friend. Parents have to make rules and impose discipline. But I don't see that as preventing trust. If you don't give any trust, I don't think you can expect any given to you.The concept of earning trust sounds fine in theory, but I think it is rare that a parent who claims that philosophy will specify clearly in advance what is actually required to earn it. More often it's a rationalisation, suggesting trust will be given at some distant point in the future, but never now. Many parents never trust their children, regardless of what they do.

my mum walked into my room the other day, she was out in a few mins tho... xD She walked out crying for some reason, turned out some bits of metal/pins had got stuck in her foot

must be luck when I get out of bed that I dont get stabbed, oh well... maybe I should put a warning up for next time my parents come in :sunglasses:

You must have scattered those pins carefully. The booby-trapped bedroom is a nice touch.

Hmm.. I'd just like to comment on this real quick.I'm 18. My parents were divorced shortly after my first birthday, but every month I would visit my father, until he moved out of state. Then it became a once-a-year thing. But the thing is, my mother raised me for 11 years by herself, a single mom with the occasional short-lived relationship. I grew up in a house with not only my mother, but my best friend. She's always been that to me. She's always given me privacy, she doesn't restrict me, and she doesn't hold me under her thumb because it is 'her house'. My stepdad of 3 years does that, but that isn't my point. I have more freedom than most of the people I know in my age group, and I never had to jump through hoops to get it. I never cried as a kid, I never bitched or whined, and I never, ever, yelled at my mother. I respected her and I appreciated what she gave me, and I always understood that she gave those things to me for a reason. And as long as I respected her and did my best in school, I would have those things.It all depends on the child. Some children assume they are 'entitled' to things. Some recognize that they are not, and come by respect and things like that naturally, since they appreciate the value of their privileges even without having lost them. I was one of the latter. I treated my mom like my best friend in the world, and she's always treated me like I was hers. That never gave either of us any trouble, and I never turned into a burden to my mother.So my point is, it's nature and nurture. Your kids' environment and temperament. I was one of the lucky few who came by privileges and material things because I was good, and never had to toe the line and have them taken away, because I shared so much with my mother. Just about the only thing that makes me cry on the spot to this day is the sight of my mother crying. When I see her cry, I make sure she never has to again, not because I'll get things taken away, but because I don't like to let down my best friend.I just thought I'd add that layer to the whole conversation here. I was a good kid, and I didn't need to be held under a microscope to be one. Maybe it's chance.

Originally Posted By: IneligibleYou must have scattered those pins carefully. The booby-trapped bedroom is a nice touch. the spiders and their webs keep my sisters out and dad pretty much avoids my room all together he cant stand Lynx and other things like that :P so Basically my room is only habitable by me (maybe a friend or two if the stay)

WHy?Its how work handles adults.You do good, keep your shit up dont fuck up dont cause problems, you get a raise, ya dont your fired.its how the real world works, and as a bonus my kids have good grades, they can get into college and they will be able to have a life better than my own and THAT is the job that a parent faces is preparing thier child for life on thier own and doing thier damndest to make certain that childs life is better than thier own.Justbe glad your nto my kid.

I know I'm coming in late in the game on this one, but what the heck. I actually was asked to write an article a few months ago on teens and privacy for a family magazine published a couple counties over.Chance - I really gotta say kudos to you. I also believe that your child's privacy is not a right they are born with, it's something they earn more and more of. I also like that you don't search your kids' stuff without them there. That's a good practice I think.That being said, I believe there is more than one kind of privacy. There is a thing called body privacy that kids, especially adolescents, need. They should be able to dress, undress, take care of hygiene and body needs in private. That's might mean knocking on the bedroom door and waiting a few seconds in case your kid is undressed.As for the internet, I can guarantee you that my child - if I had one - would have far less "privacy" than he/she would like. It's a matter of protection. Heck, I wouldn't even let my kid have a computer in his room. And I would be checking up on his myspace/facebook whatever. Probably not traditional emails as that's more like a letter or a phone call.

actually most kids these days if theyre not on an instant messaging service their speaking through myspace or facebook when theyre online. only really using traditional email systems for registering and having a email address. most ive known dont use things like hotmail or yahoo's email service to talk atleast. not to say those things shouldnt be checked with all the assholes out there but.and when i have children i would NOT want them looking for porn on the internet, not only because there is some sick shit there as well as the pedophile threat, but just the virus infection threat that usually comes with online porn sites can just destroy a computer

I let them have teh computer inteh roopm, but, Im a bit of a geek and Julie is a certified geek who works in the industry, has several certifications, and a college degree in it, currently getting ready to start the bid for her bachelors instead of the associates she currently holds, any site they goto is recorded by my router, an list of what computer and what time and what web site is mailed to me daily from my router, I block anything I dont approve of for them, then we talk about WHY I banned them from it.I believe in privacy, but not unlimited privacy, the only way to have that is to move out to your own house and make your own rules.I think there is a happy medium that both parties can live with with out too much trouble if its worked at.I even let him have a lock on his door, but I got a key, normally I knock on his door and tell him to come talk to me in the front room when hes finished what hes doing. He doesnt run the house, but he should be able to have a life that appropriate to his age

every time something was tried with me it was never threw email. but on messenger. i had alot of problems with yahoo messenger and until i put my myspace on private.. i got alot of crap there. really the only thing i see myspace good for is i can look up music generas and listen to music and check out new bands....but then i don;t do that too often hahai always wondered why (a few) talked me into getting myspace.. i even asked one girl why shoe couldn’t just email me instead of send a message on myspace (i go to it so rarely) ........i haven’t checked back to see her replay (lol i guess since it’s on my mind i should do that now haha) but i guess u answered it anyway.

yeah i use myspace to keep in touch with my sister and cousin, and angel and eddie lol,other then that not for much

Caleb makes a good point though. Can't you keep up with those people through traditional email? I mean, how do you communicate with them on myspace that you can't with email? When I moved to Mayberry a couple years ago I created a myspace page thinking it would be a good way to communicate with folks back in Louisville who were on myspace. What I discovered is that all the extra crap on myspace actully prevents me from using it to communicate with my friends and that communication is actually easier through traditional email. So other than the fun I had creating the page, I found it pretty worthless...for me.

because my sister and cousin atleast are more likely to check their myspace then their email

That kind of makes sense.
Although I would be tempted to tell them I can be contacted through email if they wanted to contact me.
At the same time I understand there are a kabillion folks who like myspace and all that goes with it. I'm just not one of them.

People update their MySpace a lot too, to reflect their personality and mood. Sometimes even write journal entries and blog spots.
Keeping tabs on friends through MySpace, (Or Facebook, like I do) keeps you up to date better than just asking "Hey, what have you been up to?" You can just read it all on there.