Nice guys vs Jerks

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i've been hear about this alot lately, and i've found out it's good to have a combination of both. so my question is how do i add a little jerk-ness to my personality?......cause right now i'm just like this really caring and boring guy that girls aren't attracted to. I wanna learn to be a type of guy who girls know i'll respect them, but still keep things fun and exciting?any suggests/examples?

In a few words: Be more assertive.

This dosn't make you a jerk if you use tact and moderation. Calling it like you see it, not taking shit from people, and being straight up honest as to what you want.

Jerks only get more girls because they are so up-themselves with self confidence. Nice guys generally don't have the confidence to go up and talk to a girl cuz they're not vain enough to think "theres no way shell turn ME down"More confidence = more girls

"...they're not vain enough to think "theres no way shell turn ME down"To the OP you don't want to be like that. That's egotism and it will only serve as an effective repellent. There's nothing to be gained by being a jerk.Be more like "So what if she turns me down." Indifference can be quite attractive and mysterious. If you can come off with an attitude of "no big deal" then your more likely to peak your targets interest. Not only is "so what" an effective pick-up method but it's just good zen, karma, logic...whatever. It'll help you realize there are more fish in the sea than just her. Not to mention, plenty that are better than her.

yeha i guess ur guys are right.....that thng i read yesterday was a little over the top.....any other suggestions would be great

Alrigt. I wrote this a while back... but I think it applies here too.I used to question things much like you're doing now. See, I used to be the nice guy that finished last. After a long time, I got fed up with it and ventured into theories. I said to myself, "all these girls seem to like jerks. I know a bunch of nice guys and they're all single. What's wrong with this picture? Maybe acting like a jerk will get me somewhere." Truth is, I don't have the heart to be a jerk like those guys. Life threw me it's twists and turns, and I learned something in the process.The problem with nice guys isn't that they're not a jerk. The problem with nice guys is most of them don't have balls. They're too concerned about saying the wrong things or having the wrong opinion. They make themselves super available to the girl they like in hopes that she'll come around.Let's pinpoint some qualities an average jerk has. Most likely, he's going to have an opinion about something and he's not so afraid to share it. He's not concerned about being diplomatic with his words because he is who he is and if you don't like it then that's your problem. Asking a girl out isn't a big deal because if he can't get this girl to drop her pants then there's another girl around the corner for him to try to get with. He's not afraid to tease girls because he could care less about hurting them.What makes girls attracted to the jerk then? He has an opinion and that can strike up all kinds of conversation. People don't want something that's always the same as them. He "appears" to be interesting. He doesn't freeze up when talking to a girl because he's going to say what he wants... He "appears" to have confidence. He's not afraid to make a move because if this girl is a no go then he can always try on the girl right around the corner... He "appears" to have confidence once again. He will tease a girl a lot without worrying, most of the time she will laugh and tease back or even better hint that she likes you... it "appears" that this guy is fun.Interesting, confidence, fun.... Hmmmm. The girl starts to associate these feelings with him and pretty soon, viola! A jerk can show a sensitive side every so often and all of a sudden he's an idol in her eyes. Why? Because maybe, just maybe, if she got to know him better, he'll really just be a nice guy. Turns out... he's just another jerk.So, the problem isn't that you're not a jerk. The problem with a jerk is he's a jerk! Lose your fear of not pleasing everyone. Don't worry that teasing will hurt a girl, she's not made of glass. Probably most of all, "appear" to have confidence.Despite what most people say, I have to disagree. For the most part, do NOT be yourself. The reason I say this is because when you first start out learning these things you must pretend to be something you're not. Pretend you're super confident and you can have any girl you want. Pretend that you're not afraid to displease everyone. Eventually, you will adopt some characteristics of what you pretend to be and then you won't be pretending anymore.To be honest, I'm not super confident in myself when it comes to girls but I know how to act like I am. I care less now. If she doesn't like me, then I can honestly say that's her loss.If you're truly a nice guy, then your problem with girls is they don't take the time to get to know you "in that way". So, act as if you're something else and when she is interested in you "in that way", you can reveal your true self in all earnesty... and then she will love you for it.There was a long period of time that I constantly kept asking myself questions about why GIRLS liked guys "like that". The reason why I put girls in all caps is because a lot of WOMEN can see through the BS. So, through many social... experiments, for lack of a better word, I developed a new theory. I asked many questions. I got a lot of input from both sexes of different ages on the subject matter. Then, I applied what I found. Pretty soon, I was choosing which girl I wanted out of a few different girls that liked me and not the other way around. Some would say I was "playing" these girls... but I wasn't doing anything different from what girls have been doing for years. A few guys like one girl and she gets to choose which one she gets to be with. In my case, I was choosing the girl I wanted to be with.It is very thought provoking. I've always been interested in social interaction.When I started out, I had to let out all expectations and just started talking to every girl I knew. Cashier at the store, girl at the grocery store, girl at her locker, doesn't matter just start up conversation. Look at it as practice. It's always practice. You can't fail. Why not? Because you can't fail at practice. You only have something to gain.She likes you, so you've got half the battle won already.The personality you've constructed for yourself online will be different from the personality you construct in person. This is because you have a lot more tools available to you when you're in person. Some examples are body language, pheromones, etc. There's just a whole range of things such as the tone of your voice, etc. Whatever. The point is don't try to completely be that guy online. You don't have time to think after every message. Ask questions and try to find a subject you can both talk about easily.A few tips for when you're talking to her in person.Body Language : Keep a smile. Relax your shoulders and try to have a relaxed posture. Don't hunch over or cross your arms, things like that. Your goal is to make yourself seem relaxed and inviting. If you're hunched over, not smiling, or in some kind of defensive position then subconsciously they'll get the idea that they shouldn't approach. Humans often go against their insincts and she'll talk to you anyway, but if you're pleasing in many ways that makes it so much easier. If your relaxed, she'll be more prone to being relaxed as well.Touching : When you get a chance, innocently touch her. Put your hand on her arm, or lightly shove her away when playing around or just teasing. Nothing sexual. When you touch a girl, especially when she likes you, her brain releases all kinds of chemicals into the blood stream.Talking : When you're in a conversation, don't be afraid to ask questions. If she says something like, "you sure do ask a lot of questions" you can easily retort with a smile ans saying, "I just want to know more about you". If she tells you about an experience you had, try to associate yourself with it. Doing this will let her know that you understand. For example, maybe she talks about people walking slow in the hallway and how she's really just trying to get to class without being late. You can come back with a short story of your own about how people walking slow got you in trouble and then start joking around about what you should do to resolve the problem. Making her laugh is definitely a good thing, but if something is making her laugh don't try to repeat yourself too often. It gets old, but she'll still laugh because she laughed the first time. Move on from subject to subject you start to feel like it's getting old. If you start to think it, the odds of her thinking the same thing is pretty good.Attitude : Playful, happy, easygoing. That's what seems to work best on the majority of females. I think I can leave it at that without clarifying.Good Luck buddy!

Taken from the fastseduction.com website"The debate of "nice guys vs. jerks" has been raging for quite a long time. The nature of being a "nice guy", however, is commonly misunderstood. It is believed that being polite, considerate, friendly, tender, romantic, etc. is what being a "nice guy" is all about and thus those qualities should be avoided, as it is the "jerk", the rude, the inconsiderate, the impolite, the rough guy who always gets the girl while the "nice guy" is waiting outside in the pouring rain with flowers in his hand.It doesn't mean that women prefer rude over polite, inconsiderate over considerate, etc. It all becomes clear when we look at a very important issue often overlooked when trying to define what makes the "jerks" beat the "nice guys" when it comes to getting the girls. It is sexuality - the "jerks" are not afraid to show that they are sexual beings, while the "nice guys" hide their sexuality as a part of their agenda of being friendly, polite, and courteous towards women."

• the "jerks" are not afraid to show that they are sexual beings, while the "nice guys" hide their sexuality as a part of their agenda of being friendly, polite, and courteous towards women."Wow, that's so true. I'm never intrested in guys who are just too nice and polite to me and scared to crack a dirty joke or two.

hehe, maybe thats why I'm so liked, dirty jokes are one of my many specialityies.

Hehe, I like dirty man jokes because they're always surprised when I get them and then respond with my own one. Muahahaha

Dude, I have to tell you this...
In my school, the girls of my age and some of them a little older...they all know me. In the morning when I get to school it litrally takes me 10 min to get 10 feet, they all come up and greet me and hug me.
Want to know the best part?
I'm not a jerk at all!!!!
I respect girls, and they do more than that with me.
My advice to you, don't be a jerk, I despise jerks(also jocks, players,rapists and murders)
I mean millions of guys get through life being an asshole, but there are a few that get through by just being all there.

Quote:In my school, the girls of my age and some of them a little older...they all know me. In the morning when I get to school it litrally takes me 10 min to get 10 feet, they all come up and greet me and hug me. i remember those days...happend to me when i went to school..from like 6th to 9th then cuz of somehtng happing at school i started home schooling then the summer we moved to the coast and i met a girl at horse show and she and her friends started talkign to me and stuff and then i started 10th grade there but stress and things..well i ended up back home schooling. but lace and her friends would met me when they saw mom's truck and be right there when i got out the truck..and the girls still do that even now. like if they see me in the mall or movies. the girls in my sunday school class.. oh man do they get on my nerves but there all smiles and hugs. i don't like being hugged or touched really (unless it's by ash or shannon) but i just grin and smile back and say hey or wutever. you can any one on this for that KNOWS me. i'm not a jerk... even when i try i can't pull it off. lol

Haha..nope, your no jerk... and even when you think you are one, you really aren't. hug

I am a quite nice person, in my senses. And, yes I do hate jerks. They act like they are "the shit" pardon my language but its true. They just look like idiots with a social problem trying to get along in life. Some people are born nice, others work to achieve it. Others just don't care and are jerks.

My boyfriend is a nice guy and a jerk..!

Care to elaborate?

Hes nice sometimes ... but lots of other people think hes a jerk!

Hmmmm... that is usually a caution sign.

they think hes a jerk cause hes shy! My boy is sooo good to me!

So basically they judge him because he's shy?