Old Friend, Old Flame...

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I spent today with an old friend of mine, the former "love of my life". Now, I say old friend because we haven't acted like friends in a few months. And I call her the former love of my life because she was the first girl that I felt sure that I was in love with. Even though I have never kissed her.My history with her is so complicated, full of my idiotic childishness and her unintentional prick-teasing. Let me describe the girl for you:She is an adorable, beautiful, petite Chinese girl.Soft, delicious lips.Cute little nose.Dark, captivating eyes.Full, delicate cheeks.Jet-black hair that hangs gracefully down to the small of her back.Slim heavenly body.Small but perfect breasts.Smooth, warm stomach.Perky bum.Strong sexy legs.She is playful to the extreme, very physical. She has a childish spirit and loves games.About 2 and a half years ago we started hanging out a lot, I started to obsess over her. I'd visit her every week and we messed around, had long chats and I tortured her with tickles while stripping her outer layers of clothing. We also cuddled silently in dark, warm rooms. On our couches, on our beds, I felt so content. But of course I wanted more.I won't go into details but her answer was "no" and I didn't like it. I dipped into bouts of depression, I hated her but I couldn't keep away from her. It eventually go to the point that I was getting so far on her nerves, neither of us could deal with it very well. We spent a few weeks apart and just as we started to get close again, she went away for 3 weeks and I started going out with one of her best friends.This is where my comment from a previous blog comes in. While she was away in Hong Kong for 3 weeks, I was at home having sex with her friend. When she came back she heard the news from someone else and she didn't take the news very well. (Although she was unaware that we had sex, she thought that we only went as far as oral and believed this until I told her the truth about 2 weeks ago.) She was upset about the matter, she called me "unclean" which to this day is the most horrible thing I have ever been called.She eventually got over it and I dated her friend, on and off, for nearly 2 years until we broke up just a few weeks ago. Now my friend and I are starting to get closer again and sadly my interest in her is rising again. I'm making excuses to see her, talking to her whenever I can. An almost constant flow of sexual imagery comes into my mind whenever I think of her. I was out with her today helping her buy clothes for a dinner and I chose the smallest, sexiest dress I could find. She looked stunning when she tried it on and I convinced her to buy it. I couldn't take my eyes off of her today.I asked her to pose nude for me, for my art and she agreed. And although I do need to get some decent life-drawing done, I don't know if I will be able to contain myself while she lies naked on my floor. It was stupid of me to ask her to do it, knowing my feelings towards her, but I can't help myself. I want to tell her that I still have strong feelings for her but I know that it will only lead to the same situation that had me depressed 2 years ago! Oddly enough, this is the girl that led me to finding this forum!I don't know what to do. I haven't even mentioned my guilt about wanting to move on so soon after breaking up with my ex!

This sounds VERY familiar... all the way until up at the end. lolIf I were you, when she's laying there naked on the floor, I'd walk up to her, squat down, and try to kiss her. See what happens.

Agreed. I think you need to try somthing with her anyway so you wont tourture your self with what if's and stuff.

Is this the same of girl or a different one, that you talk about in your blog that's in a relationship with someone else?I would think, how you would approach her and or seduce her would depend on that answer. Different situations require different approaches.

No no, the girl in a relationship is a girl from college that I just met a few months ago. This girl I've known for over 2 years.

And dear god I would love to kiss her, and while she is laying out naked, that would be great! Only problem is that the modelling won't be happening until January at the earliest.

In reply to: This sounds VERY familiar... all the way until up at the end. lol It should sound very familiar, my first ever post was about this girl, and it was almost exactly 2 years ago. And the end bit, ha! I'll be balancing the canvas on my erection.

I meant that I went through almost exactly the same thing except for the end part.

Oh, well then how did it work out for you?

Let's just say, not good. But, I never an opportunity like you have before you at the moment.

Ha ha, yeah. Before I make a move I'll hide her clothes so she can't escape, and maybe lock her in the room, and tie her up... I wonder why girls are afraid of me.So if you were in that situation again and an opportunity such as mine arose, you would try to kiss her?

Does she have any idea what your intentions are, or does she really think she's just doing you a favor?

I doubt that she thinks its anything more than just a favour, because thats all it was until I started having my "oh dear sweet jesus what have I done!?!?" thoughts.

It sounds like you all were rather intimate before. When you say you "wanted more" and she said, "no" do you mean sex, or do you mean a relationship?I assume you mean relationship. Assuming that, why did she not want to have a relationship with you. Depending on the reason of course, is there anything that would lead you to believe that her feelings on that have changed. These are just rhetorical questions...food for thought.As for trying to kiss her while she's posing for you, personally, I wouldn't do it. That seems fraught with to many pitfalls to me. If you do want a relationship with her, not knowing what kind of girl she is, my thought would be that she would think your just horny and looking to knock off a piece and thus reject you. Worse yet, that she's doing you this favor and the whole thing was a set up to try and score. Worse still, that your a perv tyring to take advantage of her when she's in a vulnerable position. Then again, maybe she agreed to pose to entice you. Nobody here knows her. What to do you believe, with care taken to cleave reason from wishful thinking?You know how to flirt, flirt with her. See if you get a response that's positive. See if she flirts back. Show her that your enamored with her, without telling her...if you can. Try to exchange a look, create an awkward silence. Find the right awkward silence and make a move. While, when she's naked on the floor is a great time for looks of want and longing and may make for a great moment of awkward silence, I think however, you should wait till the clothes are back on to make a move. If you choose to wait that long to make a move, period.Remember to take anything I say on the matter with a grain of salt. I will be the first to tell you I don't pick-up on social ques all that well and I don't understand women. Hell, I don't understand others in general, except the voices in my head...they always make perfect sense.

When I wanted more, I wanted a relationship. But there were complications. Her reasoning for not going out with me were mainly because she was in an online relationship with some guy in the States. She had never met him nor had any real plans to. I had asked her out before I knew that she took it rather seriously and after I found out I backed off as far as my 17 year old libido would let me. One night I was leaving her house and she told me that her online-bf told her that she could be in a relationship here in Ireland, because he couldn't be with her physically. She asked me if I wanted to pursue something but I turned the offer down. I didn't want to be a weird third party in their relationship because I didn't want to break them up, and I didn't want to be used as a physical instrument (no matter how much fun it might be). I wanted something permanent, not just to fill in until they met. So I can only assume that at one point at least she was in some way interested.I'm very wary of kissing her, its seems to me that there is so much risk that goes with doing something like that. Of course this situation is driving me mad and will until it is somehow resolved. I almost told her the other day that I still had feelings for her, but it turned into a comment about her breasts.

Apparently you never did anything so bad to her, as to do lasting damage to your relationship. She was interested you in some manner, at one time. So it sounds, to me, like your chances are, at least, better than average if not good. You know what comes next. You either have to try to be romantic, do the Hollywood thing, create the awkward pause and go in for the kiss or you have to tell her how you feel. I would usually say do which ever you find easier. However in your circumstance, given your past history, maybe telling her how you feel first would be a better approach. Then again, given how well you already know each other going in for the kiss might be better. Maybe kissing her would more likely sweep her off her feet. I don't know, what do you think?Whichever it's time to screw up your courage one way or the other. I just wouldn't do it when she's naked for the reasons, I've already said.

I'm not really sure how I'm going to go about this. I spent two days with her this week and I think I'm going to her house this weekend to watch a movie. It'll be just the two of us so whether I kiss her or just tell her how I feel, I suppose this would be a good time to do it. Ha, maybe I'll bring over some mistletoe!

In reply to: So if you were in that situation again and an opportunity such as mine arose, you would try to kiss her? I would.

GOD DAMNIT BOB !stop being such apussy.she wanted a relationship after the US piece of shit told her it was ok. You know she was interested in you.Think about it, she has some unreal bf you could be the real one and make her forget the online fuck head. Iv seen you spout off plenty of shit to lots of people on this site, now grab your balls, and ask the girl out. kiss her during the movie, some damned thing.you have seen shit on this iste a million times.You never know till you try.so what are you fucking around for ?TRY

Not to worry dear Chance, I shall try. When the right opportunity comes I will do something. I'm just very impatient, I think about everything too much while I'm waiting for said opportunity. I'm basically moaning and complaining in this thread until I do something. Also a little encouragement helps.

Well consider yourself encouraged.