my boyfriend and I have been together for well over a year and have had sex only a few times. We now know that were not ready for kids so were not sexually active at this time. We do everything else though and he says he enjoys it alot. The only thing is that he has never actually came from blowjobs and handjobs, only sex. What gives??
So confused, why wont he cum?:S
There are some guys who won't cum from blowjobs and handjobs (I have a close friend who is this way). I don't know any advice I could give you except that little bit of information.
I'm assuming that he can cum during sex?
<span style="color: red">~~Don't make someone a priority when you're only an option~~</span>
yeah he can cum duringsex fine and he says h loves blowjobs and handjobs so i dont understand. the other night i even went for over an hour with bj and hjs and nothing but a little precum.:S:S
I'm similar to him. I enjoy them but it takes work to get me off. Probably a result of getting to used to my own action.
Try to get him to communicate what he likes, how fast, the grip etc. and make sure he let's you know when it's working.
"Believe those who are seeking the truth; doubt those who find it"
It usually takes a while before I cum from a BJ or Handjob. More than an hour. It usually takes about 30 minutes if I'm doing it myself.
hmm, ic.. like we talk and he tells me what he likes etc. i just dunno, i thought girls always took longer to come then guys, guess i was wrong
Originally Posted By: smartiepantshmm, ic.. like we talk and he tells me what he likes etc. i just dunno, i thought girls always took longer to come then guys, guess i was wrong
No... your right. But that when penetration is happening.
Communicate with him, ask him what he likes, although most gusy wont get off on a handjob they can with a blowjob. just work together on it.
smartiepants, girls don't actually take longer to come than guys - it is about the same - once properly aroused that is. It just takes longer for girls to become aroused in the first place (around 15 minutes of sexy thoughts rather than 1!)
When you are fully aroused, whether male or female, it usually only takes about 2-3 minutes of masturbating to come. So that's the science of it - the reality of doing it with a partner is very different.
When you are younger, it is harder to come with another person. It's new, it's a bit weird, you feel self-conscious. You are worried about not performing, or that your partner is getting tired and might suddenly stop. What if I come too soon? What if I take too long? What is she thinking? Is she going to tell her friends? You get the idea. The mind can start wondering, you begin to feel anxious and that kills sex.
The first thing you need to do is get really comfortable talking about sex with your guy. Talk about how often you masturbate, how you like to do it, how long it usually takes etc.
Then get him to show you how he does it. Not only because you might learn what kind of speed and pressure he likes, but you want to get him comfortable enough to come in front of you. Assuming he can come when he is by himself, then he should be able to come in front of you too. If not, you know it is psychological, and that can be fixed with a bit of practise.
A lot of guys have issues coming in front of a girl - they might feel that it is rude or dirty, that it might offend you, or simply that it is too personal and intimate to show you. It sounds weird, I know, but trust me. Remember, his orgasm is his most private, intimate moment, and for most of his life he's probably been doing it solo, behind closed doors, doing everything he can not to be seen by anybody. It's quite a big change to suddenly do it in front of someone else.
Assure him you love to see him come, you love his semen, you are not going to be offended by it - but don't pressure him to come. Make him feel secure and free to enjoy himself, not a trained monkey expected to do his trick.
Are you comfortable masturbating to orgasm in front of him? If not, why not?
Once you are both comfortable bringing yourselves to orgasm in front of each other, it is a fairly simple process to become more and more involved in each other's orgasms. You can lick him while he masturbates, and even take over when he's about to come - and he can do the same for you. In no time, you'll both be making each other come easily.
The fact that he can orgasm inside you is a great start, lots of guys can have problems with that too, so this is really only a minor detail.
Have fun working it out!
yeah brew quite a bit of that was off so don't get me started.
It doesn't take me 2-3 minutes to orgasm, while masterbating, but maybe I'm just weird lol. A good 20 minutes or more.
Also it took me a long time before I actually ever made my bf finish from handjobs or blowjobs. So don't worry about it, it just takes a while to communicate correctly etc, and learn technique. My bf takes around an hour or more to finish from a bj, because I guess I'm not very good lol. I have the hj down and I know what he likes etc, so I can do that with in minutes. However I always did struggle with bjs.
yeah its hard cause we do communicate clearly and i just get frusterated
Originally Posted By: smartiepantsyeah he can cum duringsex fine and he says h loves blowjobs and handjobs so i dont understand. the other night i even went for over an hour with bj and hjs and nothing but a little precum.:S:S
Very plausible that he became de-sensitised to minor forms of sexual activity. The best solution i can think of is to wait a week or two, then it will be easy.
Originally Posted By: Thatguy12345yeah brew quite a bit of that was off so don't get me started.
I don't see the problem with what brew wrote. It provides a nice insight, I reckon.
we do wait, we only get to see eachother about once a month now..
Well, is he masturbating when your not there? The obvious answer is yes. He needs to give it a break the week before he sees you..
"Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind." -- Theodor Seuss Geisel <br /><br />
no he barely masterbates.. proly once a week