I always boff and it stinks....Gas seeps out my back hole and it reeks
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Boffing
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er.. did you actually want help or are you just informing us?
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Hey check it out!! Can I borrow that for the court clerk?
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Anytime I fart its a staement.Sometimes its commentary on someones opinion. sometimes its jsut to say my stomache is upset.
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Your fiance can deal with that? She must be an unusual lady.The only time I could get away with that was when the better half had a bad head cold. What a sense of liberation when she had a cold.
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When did boffing become farting? The last time I heard it used it was referring to fucking, admittedly that was a long time ago though.Did I miss a memo?
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I have no idea. I'm just going with the flow.Maybe it's an obscure thing from some odd corner of the British Isles.
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I get yelled at constantly. especially in the car or in bed. She can deal with it, she chooses to get pissy instead.
She insists that it canbe held in forever, that noone should fart with other people around.
I think she is wrong, I have however never heard her fart when she was awake.
The only time she supported it was during a movie we were at.
50 First dates if i recall rightly.
The row of teenage girls in front of us never shut up and I could hardly hear the movie over them talking, she was pissy about them as well. I had to fart and I held that in for a bit, made sure it absorbed some stink, and waited for a sound pause in the movie. when it came, I leaned back and forced it out as hard as i cold while pushing my ass cheeks together with my hands, they all spun around to stare at me with disgusted looks, and I winked at them and blew a kiss, I enjoyed the rest of the movie in peace, not another word was uttered from the girls who were trapped in a packed movie house with no seats to change to.
She did enjoy that one, and encouraged me to do it again in a nearly empty theatre watching the grudge when some girls came and sat damned near on top of us and screamed and wouldnt shut the fuck up, talking to the screen, ooooh dont do it girl, dont go inthere ! oh my god ! I cant look !It took 3 or 4 loud raunchy farts to encourage them to move to new seats.
While she never encouraged it during christmas shopping, she did not seem to mind when I tore off a loud stinky one in crowds and made some room for us to get thru. -
There should be a farting Olympics. Imagine a TV-watching / ass-scratching / farting triathlon....
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Lets say there was, would I be proud, or ashamed to have taken the gold ?
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If you took the gold in the farting triathlon and doubles luge, you should be proud.