Ok heres the question, then the background...
Is anyone adopted or didnt know one of thier blood parents?
If you had half brothers and sisters would you want to know? would you want to know them?
after 30 years would you be pissed if one of them tracked you down?
Im in the process of tracking someone down. I knew about it when I was akid but it somehow slipped behind the purple curtain and was forgotten about till just now.
Well till a few days ago.
first when I was 16 and started dating my mom told me about her, don't date anyone named Huffman, it could be your sister, a short speech about my dads cheating and then it was dropped.
my dad cheated alot, good times for him I guess. He got his first wife pregnant during one of his cheating episodes. (My mom was wife#2) So I know that the girl I'm looking for has a mother named betty. My brothers have always pretended like it wasn't important or that it never happened, and I haven't talked to them about it recently. Like I said I sort of forgot all about it. The other night I'm watching the news and it had a story about a crystal Huffman being booked on attempted murder charges, that's when shit started coming back to me, shit that had been piled away for years with out a thought.
I do know that her last name is or was Huffman.
now recently my dad shit on all 4 of us and moved to Washington. He made sure he fucked us each over and talked mad shit to us and then left, that way he didn't have to feel guilty about being a thousand miles away I guess. None of us cared that he moved, that was his choice, he's an adult and all the kids are too, he gets to do what he likes. I don't understand what prompted him to shit on all of us before he left though.
So after the news story I got to thinking about it, that name where did I know that name... the next day it clicked, I called my mom and asked her what she knew. She had a picture from 30 years ago that the mother sent her after the baby was born and a letter telling her about my dads cheating.
That ended the marriage, my dad denied everything and it was forgotten about by me till the news the other night.
It occurred to me that he shit on her as much as he shit on us.
now I'm not out for revenge, my dad is out of my life, I don't talk to him, I don't associate with him and I don't let his bullshit interfere with my life and how I live it, his mistake to leave the way he did, not mine, I didn't create the mess, so piss on it, not my problem to deal with.
Anyways My brothers have known about it since the birth, atleast the two older ones have. its never been discussed among us at all and may never be. But I called my mom, she told me the whole story again and asked me what the hell took me so long to feel the need to find out about my sister. My mom is all for looking into her. Thinks its shitty of me that I never did so before and is still upset with my brothers for never having done so when they have been aware of it this whole time.
My brain just works different I guess, I never cared before now. Nothing had happened that made me want to know and it was just put away like it never existed since it risked damaging a relationship with my dad. Well that's shot to hell now, so for good or for ill why not try? the worst that happens is she hates me for never having tried before, right?
My mom kept the same phone number this whole time and never changed her name after the divorce so if this girl wanted to she could of tracked us down rather easily if her mother gave her the information about her blood father, and if she cared to.
Maybe I should let sleeping dogs lie, but I don't much feel like it, so I'm starting the search.
All I know is that she's about the same age as my little brother who was born in 74. Her mom is my dads first wife and was named betty, and at the time of the birth it was Betty Huffman. the daughter was named Misty. It all took place in Tooele and at some point in the 80s the mother moved to Magna, about 20 miles away. There is no listing for a misty or a betty Huffman in the phone book or online.
what the hell do I say to her if I do find her? is there a point in having any sort of contact and possible relationship with her all this time later?
Would you want someone tracking you down? is there a point in doing it or am I just opening up a bucket of shit that's better left closed and burried ?
Anyone have any other thoughts? and what about any leads? Iv posted some stuff in various online forums about it as far as looking into where she is, but thisis the first on if I should be looking for her, and the first to see if anyone has any ideas short of a private dick to aid in my search. I may at some point have to end up paying someone to find her, but for the beginning Im looking to look and locate for free or atleast really cheap.