Admitting When We're Wrong

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Hey hey, everyone! About two nights ago, I was talking to a friend of mine and we got to a point in our conversation where we were talking about admitting when you're wrong. It got me thinking and I became curious to see what other people thought, which is why I'm posting.He asked me, "Why women are so stubborn about admitting how wrong they are?". I simply told him that, it's not just women, but everyone can be stubborn when we all get into some sort of argument. And naturally, we all want to be right (pride, I suppose). Depending on the situation, we don't realize it until we see it hurt others. And with maturity, we have to swallow our pride, be humble, and admit when we're wrong so we can just move on.So, in short, everyone's stubborn, not just women. There's no universal answer because it depends on each situation and the individuals involved. Then for curious reasons, I asked him, "Why guys are so stubborn about admiting how wrong they are?". I wanted to see his side of the fence and he answered..."When we don't, it's mostly out of frustration that we have to admit being wrong so much more often. For a while, I was the one always admitting fault so as to end our arguments, even when I sincerely felt it was more your fault, because I thought it would be better to just end it."Okay, so here's the question: Is my friend being a bit unfair, or even sexist?He's a good guy but, to be frank, he's oblivious on how to talk to girls. I guess it's because he lives with his two older sisters and mother and tells me how stubborn they are. He doesn't have a girlfriend and he just recently told me he got into a fight with one of his friends (who's a girl) and they haven't talked for a long while. He says "she's being stubborn and not talking to me". He made a joke and she didn't take it the right way. But suprisingly, he still can get why she took it to heart and why she's being stubborn in not talking to him.I would love to hear other people's thoughts and ideas on this. I would appreciate some words of advice that I can pass it on to him (like how to handle arguments) and maybe it might change the way he thinks about girls. I'm trying, but man, even I have trouble talking to him.

you're wrong!TItO*S

Well, I will say that often times, I just accept being wrong if it isn't worth the argument. It also depends on some things. I've known entirely stereotypical girls who would lead you to believe the "no girl can be wrong" argument. Same goes with everyone. It's possible that his experience simply leads him to believe that honestly and truly. If I am wrong, however, I will usually admit it, but not before attempting to reach a face-saving compromise. so now that I'm sure I've traced off topic entirely, let me quote the actual question. Quote:Is my friend being a bit unfair, or even sexist?It's a little hard to know, because it's all about his surroundings. It is unfair to lump everyone in a stereotype, and sexist for a gender stereotype, but it doesn't seem to be his interest to be sexist or unfair: seems like that's just what his experience has lent him.If he deals with two sisters and his mother, and they are what he experiences the most (and they are very stubborn) then you can understand how anyone would be able to say, "These three girls i Know best are like this, all of them probably are."Seems to me he just needs to be around fair women more often?

IMO he isnt being sexist or unfair, its like that here at home... mum will start something up, I justify my view (also being right as well ) she'll get mad for me speaking up and start shouting abuse at me, so I guess their are reasons for "giving up"...she herself, will never admit she's wrong up until the point where everyone is pushed away, then she will cry and blame herself and then moments later, there's chances that she'll start again. So admitting that your wrong (even when your right) before it goes too far, is in most case right.

"When we don't, it's mostly out of frustration that we have to admit being wrong so much more often. For a while, I was the one always admitting fault so as to end our arguments, even when I sincerely felt it was more your fault, because I thought it would be better to just end it."Right or wrong, sexist or not, I do the same shit with the women in my life. Most of the time whatever is being argued about isn't worth the concern it's given anyway. So ya just say, "yeah your right" turn around roll your eyes and go one with your life.

YES! another pussy whipped bitch!
welcome to the club!
Im the same way, I never fight with julz, its nto worth it even if ya win ya lose.
Ill stand up over major shit, but most shit? fuck it, forget it, do it her way, she may even be right and at worst later on she admits she as wrong after she sees why I had my opinion about how to do it or what we shoudl do or what ever it was we would of had a big fight over.

Hey, your lucky. At least Julz 'll eventually admit if she was wrong. That ain't ever gonna happen with my wife, my mother or any of the other women I deal with on a regular basis. And it's always a whole lot of drama over mundane shit.I wonder if Eddie has the same problem with his partner.

I never thoth about that.How about it eddie?when its two men are there fights over not asking for directions? is there more sex than for straight people?If one farts in the car does ti lead to laughing and getting punched? or does it lead to a 5 hour "fuck I cnat belive you shit your pants in the car in the winter" bitch fest?Do gay males hold shit the other did over their head for fucking years on end and pull it out 10 years after just to remind them that they did fuck up that one time when they said yes those pants make your ass look big, oput em back on the rack and find another pair to buy?How does that shit all work out with gay men? do you suffer through the same shti we do with a woman? or since ya take so much shit from assholes about being gay does that mean ya get to skip over the shitty part of relationships?

Yeah, Eddie we are eagerly awaiting your answer.Your answer may be the point that pushes all those guys that post "I think I may be gay" over the homosexual cliff. Avoiding the mundane fights, I think, would be big selling point. I got into this shit with my wife last night. She asked me to take some hamburger out of the freezer which I did. When I went to bed it was in the pan on the counter. I put it in the frig and asked her if she meant for the hamburger to stay out to thaw. Then we had to get into this whole thing about "you never handed me any hamburger", "I didn't put any hamburger on the counter", "I don't know what your talking about", "you didn't hand me anything.".... All I fucking wanted to know was if I did the right thing putting back in the fridge. How it got to the counter and the hands it may or may not have passed through didn't matter... at least to me.To the OP, thats when we say "yeah, your right" turn around roll our eyes and go on with our lives.

It's just a lot easier to give up and go home. One time I brought my ex with me to a party with some friends because she really wanted to go. two hours later she was ready to leave because it was 'too cold' outside. I very calmly asked if I could stay with my friends and you'd think I'd cheated on her. Not only did I not get to stay, but I had to give her my coat for the walk home just to keep her from complaining about the 55 degree weather. Then, I was studying for a Chemistry Exam and she asks, "Do you want to go to the mall with me? I'm bored.""Eh, Not really, I'd like to study for my test."..That was apparently the wrong thing to say. She reacted like I'd threatened to hit her. "Why don't you like doing things with me?" "I'm studying to not fail at life!""You just don't want to go out!""You think I LIKE studying?!""More than me!""WHAT?! I can't hug a book you know!!""Is that all I'm around for, physical.." blah blah, after that came up I stopped caring. I even used the term hug to make sure that didn't come up.Four months later when she broke up with me, she cited that one point to justify "You don't do things with me anymore."Never mind the Jim Gaffigan Concert I paid $100 to take us to. Never mind the numerous movies or dinners I paid for.Bah, you can't win.

I had an nearly identicle argument last night with julz, only it was will you wash the pan for spaghetti so I can make dinner?I went and washed it, fille dit with water and put it on the stove.20 minutes later I get I thoth you were making dinner? cant you even wash the pan so I can?instead of pointing out hat the water was in a clean pan waiting to be boiled and shit, I walked out, turned the stove on, got a coke from the fridge, ran the water for a minute in the sink and then came downstairs and told her I had the water boiling.Its not a big enough thing to have a fight over, and even though I would of been able to win, Id still of lost.I went outside at 1150 to shovel that shit up, it took me till just a couple minutes ago to finish, Im disapointed with you Eddie, Iv bene gone and hour and you can write to me arguing over smoking in public, but you cant answer a coupkle of yes no questions that could swing more players to your team then mine on the gay issue?d i s a p o i n t e d

Really! come on Eddie, Chance and I are waiting here with baited breath. As long as Adam isn't a "drama queen" you may be home free living a, relatively, "petty" argument free life, and Chance and I are gonna come knock the shit out of just for the principal of the matter.

ya know...If I beat up a gay guy because he has a better relationship then me and doesnt have to deal with the minor bullshit arguments and petty assertivness that I do, does that make me guilty of a hate crime since hes gay and Im not, or just of simple assault for the fight to begin with?its a gray area I think, I didnt attack because hes gay, but because of his less strained relationship...thats a result of his being gay...If I go knock the shit out of eddie for general principals Im gonna have to consult my attorney first before heading to ohio with ya scotty, I can handle time nad fine for assault, but I dont want a hate crime on top of it.Eddie, please note, you and I disagree on the smoking shit, THIS has nothign to do with smoking, this is simply jealousy and desire. I liek yuo, but Ill be damned if you get to have a better life relationship wise than me jsut because your gay!

That is a gray area. Maybe I should just knock the shit out of him and let you provide moral support. As a self identified Bi man, with me it wouldn't be a hate crime, just a homo-bi-sexual disturbance. So we're still good.

Originally Posted By: GrvtykllrI never thoth about that.How about it eddie?when its two men are there fights over not asking for directions? LOL nope, if we're lost we pull over and get directions. I personally hate being lost, easier to admit I'm lost and get directions and be on my way is there more sex than for straight people? LOL. Well... depends. Like anyone sexual libidos vary. As for Adam and I we have sex 3-4 times a week. When we first got together we had sex about every night, it's been three years now so it naturally slowed down some lol. (Chance you might not wanna read this lol) But even if I am not in the mood and Adam is I'll help him out usually with a BJ. Figure it's the least I can do lol If one farts in the car does ti lead to laughing and getting punched? or does it lead to a 5 hour "fuck I cnat belive you shit your pants in the car in the winter" bitch fest? LOL!! Well with my ex I used to tell him he was nasty and roll down the window and we'd usually laugh about it. But with Adam I don't think he has ever farted around me or I just haven't noticed lol. I don't get pissed about stuff liek that, but an advance warning would be nice hehe Do gay males hold shit the other did over their head for fucking years on end and pull it out 10 years after just to remind them that they did fuck up that one time when they said yes those pants make your ass look big, oput em back on the rack and find another pair to buy? I don't. I'm pretty open with what I think so I tell them how I feel about it and generally let it go. Adam lets things go very easily as well. Hope that answers your questions!!

a homo-bisexual-disturbance?is that really as funny as it sounds in my head? or am I just baked to a happy perfection and it seems funny now?

Your just baked and you want even pass it this way.

true, but if ya was here, or I was there, Id turn ya on to some shit that will leave ya drooling and stupid after 3 hits.not to mention laughing like a school girl

Thanks a lot for your responses, guys! I wanted to see it from different points of view, so I can learn to understand better (which I did). Love you lots!

quote] I just accept being wrong if it isn't worth the argument.[/quote]me too.. woman or man.. i just let people think what they want. there are a few issues tho i am bull headed on. thankfully on me those issues only come up on here lol and well i do have to learn to chill when it comes to those issues.

i am usually the one that apologizes when we (me and Shannon) get into a fuss...even when she should be the one apologizing to me.
I'm trying to think of a argument we have head that was a your right I'm wrong kind of thing. but i can only think of one. most of our arguments are just cuz of hurt feelings.
I have snapped at her and hurt her feelings. She has said things to me that have hurt mine.. but some how when she hurts mine i end up apologizing to her like i did it. it's rarely done but when it is neither of us are in good moods.... Every one can tell when were arguing.

The last time we had a fuss was b4 Christmas. She wanted to go to a horses ho w and I didn't. It was cold! I didn't want to sit and be cold for another day.. I went the day b4 with her and we stayed half the day under blanket. When I told her I didn't want to go and asked her to come over and just hang out with me her comment was I just wanted her over so we could have sex. (honestly it wasn't my attentions...) but I was having a dumb moment and said well if we get in the mood maybe.. That led to a mini argument that ended with my hanging up on her. The quick of it.. She called back and I didn't answer... she called back again latter and I missed it cuz I was asleep then I called her back. ..and I apologized to her. I was wrong to hang up on her and to not take her call and I told her I was asleep when she called the last time. Then I told her how what she said hurt and in no way did I mean her to come over for that. ... the next day she tells me she only said that cuz she was made I wouldn't go to the horse show with her. So after I apologized first....she came and apologized the next day... even after I apologized to her it still bothered me. It bothered me most that she even thought that. I dk something in my head wanted to prove to her she me and more to me that ass.....so we didn't do nothing until new years eve/morning.

And well I have been bull headed too.. Like when she was trying to tell me Lindsey was up to something and was kinda blowing her concerns off as being jealous .... Yea she was right all along. I apologized for that too...