Friends with benefits

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well i have a boyfriend and i mean like it is really nothing i m his first girlfriend and where i go to school everyone just thinks ok you go out there is no kissing or like really anythin and hhe is not that type of guy. i m 13. but my exboyfriend my friend know he and i have been talking about maybe being friends with benefits. and i think i might want to do it but im not sure if its wrong. i mean, i think it would be a good experience we both said we were curious... he knows i have a boyfriend. but my ex lives in different town so my boyfriend would never know. should i do it? is it wrong? please help!

Do you think it would be OK if your "boyfriend" cheated on you?Of course it would be wrong to do that, and not tell your boyfriend. He should at least have the option to break it off with you.If you'd be willing to cheat on your boyfriend, who knows what your old boyfriend has been doing? Imaging if you caught an STD from him and gave it to your boyfriend.I don't mean to come down so hard on you (OK, I do), but where the hell did you get your sense of right and wrong from, that you'd even think it was OK?

ok well im not gonna be having like sex or anything! we were just gonna like kiss

And how would it be if your boyfriend went off with his ex-girlfriend-with-benefits and had kissing sessions with her...without telling you?

Originally Posted By: Steve_AAnd how would it be if your boyfriend went off with his ex-girlfriend-with-benefits and had kissing sessions with her...without telling you? Where do these kids get their definitions from? I didn't realize that it took SEX to be cheating. MY BAD!

Bill Clinton messed up the idea of sex. Unless you give birth to triplets, you haven't actually cheated.

forget it i will go elsewhere this is what i would have gotten if i was to ask my mother or family member this is just a waste of time you guys are jsut here to be like omg how could you. so just nvm

You never answered the question: Would it be OK with you if your boyfriend smooched with his ex without telling you? If the answer is no, then you've answered your original question. If you answered yes, then it gets more complicated, but don't assume that your boyfriend would agree with you.A lie is not a good thing on which to build a relationship. Or were you just shopping for a "It's fine! Go right ahead!" answer?

There are some questions you need to ask yourself.Do you want to have a relationship where partners are truthful to each other?Do you think your boyfriend would mind if you're kissing another guy? If he does mind, would it bother you?If can answer these questions easily, but it doesn't really matter what I think. Your answer is what is important.

I think if you asked your mother you'd most likely have had one hell of a confused parent. If you can't be with one person and be happy to be with that person, not kissing your ex (!?OF ALL PEOPLE?!) ... you are definately not mature enough to have a relationship. At least give your "boyfriend" a bit of respect and split up with him first.

You asked for our opinion, and obviously what we gave you wasn't what you wanted to hear - so you'll do whatever you want in the end anyway, regardless of who you disrespect and hurt.

All I will say about this is.... think about karma - what goes around comes around. If you're willing to play the game of "what he doesn't know can't hurt him", I sure as hell hope that when you're older and you have a more serious relationship with someone you really like, and he's been going off to play "friends with benefits" with his ex-girlfriend, it's going to hurt you when you find out from a friend or by accidentally catching them together.

Think twice before you do things like this. And actually consider that we might know what we're talking about...

I'm damn sure I've wasted my time writing out this post to you because from your tone you obviously think we're talking crap. Just thought I'd try anyway.

What sort of response would you suspect to get from anyone that wasnt trying to be the friend with the bennys ?Id be plenty pissed if my woman was kissing other guys, just as pissed as Id be if she fucked them.Its all a connection, and its all cheating.That your bf would never know doesnt mean shit, noone starts out cheating so that they will get caught, most people are smart enough to know if they are going to get cuaght too easy its not wirth the risk and do bother.Id bet yuor mother would give you a very different answer than any of us gave, Id bet she would give yuo a lecture that included all sorts of shit about not being old enough, are you still a virgin, maybe followed by an ass kicking and beig grounded and sworn off of the current and any other boys till your thirty, or she is dead, what ever comes last.You knew the answer to the question before you asked it, all yuo were looking for is someone to sayits ok to fuck over your current boy, because well he wont ever find out so its not really cheating.Grow up, get over your bullshit. If you cant be faithful to one guy then you need to be with noone.that way you can kiss, lick, screw, suck and fuck whoever you like and noone can get angry with you about it.

Last time I heard a friend with benefits was about SEX. Sex is the benefits part. no matter if it's making out, oral , or intercourse. The benefits part is a sexual term other wise he's JUST be a friend. Personally ( and I know I';m going to get jumped on by this) I think ur a kid trying to play with grown up words......... friend with benefits..... friend with benefits not being about sex. lol

If u do something with ur "friend with benefits" that you SHOULD be doing with ur boyfriend then it's called CHEATING.

I have never heard of a guy not wanting to kiss his gf. Ur 13 u said right? is ur bf 13 too? Maybe he's just shy. Or nervous to kiss u but I bet (IF he likes u) he wants to kiss u. kiss ur boyfriend OR break up with him and go back to ur EX.

Don't get mad at us cuz u want to cheat. I feel bad for ur boyfriend.
Y can't people just be up front and break up with the person. Y the cheating shit. Geeez.

I think you nailed that one right on the head!!! Nice one.

omg are you serious? you want to fuck around on your boyfriend with your ex? what if he did the same thing to you? what do you expect us to say here to you? "go ahead, do it, who gives a fuck?. what he doesnt know wont hurt him..." . you expect us to think thats ok? my god woman. you should think before you type. and you get mad at us because you dont like our opinions? dont ask for them.

I totally agree CR! Very well said.

Originally Posted By: GrvtykllrGrow up, get over your bullshit. If you cant be faithful to one guy then you need to be with noone.that way you can kiss, lick, screw, suck and fuck whoever you like and noone can get angry with you about it.Hrmm... sounds a bit different than what you said to me. What, you change your opinions with every reply? According to you "the way it is" my daddy will be fucking everyone he can find, and same for my mom, she likes the dick, etc.? Yeah, real nice dude. You need to take a minute to stop and think that maybe, just MAYBE, reguardless of the fact that this is the internet and no matter how impersonal it may have gotten for some, you can still hurt people with your words, spoken OR typed.

I'm not defending his "direct" way of expressing himself, but you're talking about two completely different things. The OP of this thread has what appears to be a committed romantic relationship (a boyfriend), who she's talking about cheating on.Not everyone is in such a releationship, and if they want to go out with three different people every week, that's their business. If they make a commitment to one particular person, though, then it's a different matter. If that person is your parent, it still just as true.I understand that it's hard to deal with divorcing/divorced parents, and your parents need to weigh what's best for themselves and their children, but the balance can't always be completely on the side of the children.