Friend zone

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what do you do when you're well and truly in the friend zone? this girl, shes always jokingly saying stuff like 'i fancy you' (which is british for 'i have a crush on you') and i know shes only saying it because she feels comfortable enough and we're only friends- if you like someone, you dont say you do, even in jest, because you dont feel relaxed enough. She is involved with this guy, but i mean it cant last forever...i dunno ive loved her for like 3 years time, is there any way to get OUT of the friend zone? valentines day is coming up...-ak

Be all Shakespearean. Or... why not just tell her?

According to the ladder theory, there are two things you can do.1. You can try for a ladder jump. The danger of the ladder jump is the higher up the friends ladder you are, the further the drop you're going to face if you don't manage to grab a rung. If you are able to grab a rung on the date ladder, then that's awesome for you.2. You can climb down the friends ladder, linger in the abyss, then reappear with an attempt to climb up the date ladder. The danger of doing this is she could have feelings of resent for you because you lost contact with her even though you two were "so good friends".I don't think there's a desginated way to do it... it depends on the people.EDIT: The movie, "just friends" is a good example of this. The main character goes for the strategy of number 1 by trying to show his beloved this note he wrote in her yearbook. When that fails, he takes option 2.

it seems like, i mean, what good could come of it? am i more likely to get over her if i tell her?

Quote:i know shes only saying it because she feels comfortable enough and we're only friends- if you like someone, you dont say you do, even in jest, because you dont feel relaxed enoughThis is based on the principle that she would behave the same as you would in the situation. That's a dangerous assumption - sometimes it's true, but sometimes it isn't. In particular, there are a lot of misunderstandings between men and women because each think the other would behave like them, and therefore draw false conclusions as to how the other is thinking.Why not ask her out on what it is clearly a date? Valentine's Day would be a good opportunity. Don't forget a card and flowers!

well, i did mention she has a boyfriend...

Well, I think so. If she knows you like her, that could, possibly, alter her views on you -- thus she can like you.I've only noticed this in a few girls though.How is her relationship now?

shes really into the guy...they seem really happy. but i mean, my loving her is making me un-happy...theres a lot wrong in my life right now and i really want to get this out the way, yknow?

If she's in a happy relationship... I would leave it alone.

Websexinfo, how does the ladder "jump" work with an ex? She's my ex and my best friend, so I can't exactly disappear and spring up again on the dating ladder.. or can I?

I don't see why not. There are so many variables to such a situation though.Do you think she still has romantic feelings for you? Or is it completely platonic now?

Sorry for the late reply.

Since we broke up, she hasn't wanted to be have any relationships with anyone at all for now.