I know what most of you are thinking.. another post from that fucking stoner..
Today, my mom and sister were going to goto the store. My mom asked me if I wanted to go, I said sure.. Then my sister got all pissed off.. and like I dont want him going blah blah blah.. She does this everytime... WTF? She is 13.. She hate me too? I will add her to the rest of my fuck faced family that hates me... I don't really care for my mom to much anymore, because she dosn't really seem to want to hear me anymore.. She was the only reason I didn't kill myself, Thats out now I guess... My dad.. He is such a prick. He has been trying to be nice (I think partly because his father and him don't like eachother.. but there changing that) .. Guess what dad? I hate you... Stupid fuck... My dad is pissed off at me now.. Because I didn't take the chance to make $80 because I wanted to try to finish the 8 chapters of work due tuesday.. WTF? I failed two classes.. One I knew I was going to.. But one I don't have a clue.. I was passing it .. I show him that.. He gets pissed off cause my absences arn't in order (all were 9.. except 1st and 6th) He assumed I was ditching... WTF? I don't ditch. Its teachers error on absenses... NOT ME... So he probably thinks I'm just lying... Whatever... My friends all seem to busy.. ALL THE TIME... I drive around alone, which won't happen anymore. Seeing how I didn't goto work for my dad today.. he said I have to pass for gas from now on.. So, guess I can't apply for anymore jobs! I can't afford gas. Its like $30 to fill up.. None of the places I've applied have called me back .. So I guess they don't want me ... None of my family wants to listen to me.. They just kinda ignore or tune me out.. If they don't like me so much, why don't they just kick me out?! Huh? WHY DONT THEY JUST DO THAT.. I don't care... According to my dad... I'm just stupid anyways... He thinks I'm stupid because I'm not going to college. He finds something wrong with EVERY fucking thing I have ever done. So what I say: FUCK HIM... I just want to slit his throat and watch him die... then lmao when everyone else finds him.. and shoot them... I don't care... Since I'm so stupid.. and they don't like me.. I will just stay in prison for life.. Live off the govt.. Why do they ignore me? They hate me or what? I guess they do. I'm just the annoying one.. Who is so 'lazy' ,,a lazy person doesn't try to get aps everyday for jobs.. Doesn't help when they can(Like I should really help them anymore) .. Yeah.. I'm lazy.. I will actually start being lazy.. and not helping them do things... They will see what lazy is.. I feel they just use me... They just use me for there benift... Why? Even my aunt and cousin whom I thought liked me ignore me... My whole family ignores me... I will just stop talking all together... and stay in my room.. That way they don't have to see me.. Maybe it will make there lives so much better Maybe if I just left or killed myself.. Maybe they would be happier. They could spend the extra money they save on things to make them happier.. Turn my room into a game room.. Then they all can have fun!! Lots of fun!!! If thats what they want.. I will do it for them. I'm just the 'stupid' 'lazy' 'dumb fuck' that they call there son... I will remove myself for them. SO THEY NEVER HAVE TO LOOK AT ME AGAIN!? IS THAT WHAT YOU MOTHER FUCKERS WANT?! WANT ME GONE? Can't wait till I'm 18 .. CAN YOU? Probably jsut kick me out and put me on the streets.. Like you give a fuck.. You see your future in her (sister) cause she is a honor student.. does everything perfect... and has 'good' looks... Yeah.. Fuck your fat ugly son.. They don't have a clue what I sit here and plan. I should just blow up the whoel house.. I can. I'm very capable. I see why those Columbine shooters shot up that school.. Cause humans are a bunch of cock suckers.. I actually give props to Klebob and Harris for doing it... They were made fun of... and they snapped.. maybe it should be used as a lesson to all the 'perfect' people... that like to try to degrade people just trying to live there lives... Hell, peers don't do it to me. Its my own god damn family. If thats what you want to call it. If I'm so much trouble.. so stupid... Why don't they just tell me straight out.. So I can leave.. or kill myself? Don't they have any common fucking curtosity?! I'm out for now. I'm pissed off and depressed. Ok.. There.. My fucked up family life that I tryed to pertend for years was good.. Layed out right there.. ITS FUCKED...
Just need to..
I know what most of you are thinking.. another post from that fucking stoner..
You know what? I've read some of your rants for months now. You claim people don't like you, family.. now even your friends seems to be ignoring you. I don't know how much of this is true or exaggerations. If people really are avoiding you or dislike you, then maybe you need to step away and look at yourself from their perspective. Maybe you have an attitude that turns people off. I don't know you or your situation but maybe a little introspective analysis could help. It's just an idea I'm throwing out.
The family.. Honestly, I don't know what there problem is. My friends. There busy.. Jobs, sports and family... Alot people say I'm a really nice person. Is there a point where your family just starts taking you for granite? Maybe thats there problem.. They still don't really know about all the depression stuff...
are you planning on doing any schooling in the fall?
~*~Smile, it's the second best thing you can do with your mouth.~*~
In reply to:
Is there a point where your family just starts taking you for granite?
Marble maybe.. Granite never..
Yeah, my junior year in HS. I feel better now. After i posted this, I went and layed down for a little while, then my family like completly changed.. I swear they read this board. That was just all sitting there bugging me and I had to get it out.. Guess we all need to do that once in a while... Thanks guys
I was going to post my comments to that... but you said it's all good know so I'll leave it cuz you probably don't want to hear it now anyway... glad your family is nice now....
Still searching ...
took me a while but i did it!!!! kept loosing my spot every now and then but i read it all!!!!! i'm prett proud of myself...
but yeah its great to hear everythings goin great for you! i actually enjoyed your posts and i beileve you probably are a very nice person but has buttons that can be pushed enough to piss you off... but its great to hear you doin good! i was wondering where AandC's hugs and cuddles were...
I'm a Pimp, BITCH, dont be shy, show me dem big tits...
with yo lip stick, smeared all ova my big dick
I agree fab after bitching here first time around i felt a bit better.
Alot of the time it's just how you look at things,
A pill to make you numb. A pill to make you dumb.
A pill to make you anybody else.
I'm not sure what I can say to help FabMX, other than some kind of counselling. But hey, if it helps to get it all out here then go for your life. I'll always read/listen.
Glad to hear you're feeling better. Have a think about it though, maybe your family reacted to you differently as you'd let out some anger, had calmed down etc, and maybe they can sense/feel your anger at other times. Maybe they're acting differently as you aren't carrying so much anger. You'd be surprised at how people can subconsciously detect and sense what you're feeling. They'll ususally act accordingly. I'm not saying they treat you the way the do because you hold such anger (I imagine you hold a lot of anger because of them), but I hope things work out for you.
Or maybe they just feel like they don't want their son to kill them all or kill himself. A lot of parents are very scrwed up, I've met more than one in my lifetime. Fab, I'm sure your parents are great and all, but there are some people out there whose parents are real assholes (DAMN, I CURSED AGAIN!). Mine are pretty nice, but my GF's are just pricks! They'll come home every night drunk and blitzed out of their skulls, cursing and smoking and making fun of her.
I'm really sick of some of the irresponsible parents in this world. Fab, all I can say out of this is, if you ever have a son, treat him as you would want to be treated, without having to read a long post on the internet about death and despair. :smile:
This time...I won't be just a memory....
Now's the time to fight for your Planet, Cloud!
God gets you proud before he kicks you in the ass.