I have far too many opinions of divorce. so much to spew, so much hatred, not enough time or energy. Hey I gotta cut some potatos and slosh em in the crock pot withthe roast that started last night with the onions so I can have dinner ya know !
so rather than go into the divorce subject I want to focus on one thing that will take me less time, and is something easier to get into anyways.
First you said
I finally met someone that I can imagine life with. In fact, I often wonder how or why, he is interested in me. No, it's not that I think I am ugly, or mean. Just, I know that there are things in my life that MUST be difficult for someone to consider when considering a relationship with me...Right now, it is the pain issues, I am sure I will get a spanking for sitting in this chair long enough to write this...
I know what ya mean, Iv been through it a few years back when I met Julz, you continued to say:
I finally hit a spot in my life, where I am liking myself, and pretty content being alone. YAY! And in walks Mr. Perfect... He understands SO much.
I Honestly belive that that little bit is what led to the first paragraph. I boinked many girls while single, I couldnt imagine ever being with any of them long term, they drove me batshit, I was annoyed with the sound of thier voice and breathing not 10 minutes after I was done spewing goo on her tonsils. I liked em well enough till I got to fuck em or get ym dick sucked, then well then I just wanted them gone. Some where good enough that I wanted to fuck them again but I didnt want to be with them again.
Alot of my anti date attitude stemmed from my own messy divorce and even messier marriage to a harpy. It took some years to get past that, then I dated a girl and I wanted to be with her, she fucked me over, told me one thing did another, shit on me and was gone. That fucked me up for a bit and I didnt think I deserved a girl I went a few months with no sex and no jerking off simply because I was depressed, I dont recall even getting horny during that time.
I met another girl during that time that was in much the same boat as I was, She has since become my best friend outside iof Julie. Havent talked to her for a bit, she got wrapped up in a shitty relationship and I refuse to talk to her or help her out as long as shes willing to put up with being treated like a queen in public and beaten behind closed doors. Id kill the mother fucker shes with if she was willing to leave, She isnt. so till she is we dont talk. She knows why and knows how to find me when shes ready to take her life back. Anyways.... we helped each other through alot of shit, mostly mental but some physical as well. I took a fall free climbing and busted my leg, My truck was astick, she used to drive 30 miles each way to bring me smokes and grocerys while I was healing up and couldnt drive (thats the physical, there has never been any sex between us)
Back to the point...
During that time I had girls hitting on me and telling her they wanted me and trying to get me to go with them, I wasnt inthe mood, I didnt see myself as much of anything worth being with.
When I started getting my fucking head on right again I started whoring again and was wildly successful ;). after a year or so of that I got broed with banging various broads and sluts and started wanting to actually be with someone.
It wasnt till I had that desire, and felt I was worth something, that there was nothing wrong with me, that I was "woprthy" of being with a person and affecting thier live and them contributing to mine that I found Julz.
Alot of what you get out of your dates is about what you put into yourself, your opinion of who you are and what you deserve.
Noone will see you as anything to be prized ro taken seriously if you dont see yourself as someone of worth first.
You just got to the point where you started being happy about who you are and what you intend to become, that is why someone else saw you as something worth while.
Lastly you said:
There are children involved with this relationship, and he and I are great about including them, putting each other on the back burner for the kiddo's and we both understand...Something I have complained here about NOT having.
To that I say if anyone your with isnt interested in your kids as well, fuck em, they are not worth shit themselves, not ready for that relationship, not capable of being with you as a parent.
Evwen if they have no kids themselves, they affect the lives of the children that go with the woman they are with.
If you date a woman with children its a package deal.
Julz is the same way, she loves my kids, she puts them before herself, she goes out of her way to make sure they ar taken care of. Once my ex hadnt sen my son for montsh on her own choices. The other son got sick (diabeties complications) and ended up in the hospital. She then turned up to see the sick one, and started bitching at my other son, yelling at him in ahospital room, her own child she hadnt seen or talked to in atleast 2 maybe 3 months. Julie was the first one up from her chair and to slap that btich and push her out in the hall and ball her out about being a mother instead of a cunt.
Julies kids I try to be a friend too or something, they have a dad they hav eknown thier whole life, Im not thier dad, she handsles discapline on them, she handles everything on them. I make sure the arrangments are made for them to be included in vacations, camping, various family events on my side, all of that.
The youngest kid of hers was 6 months old when I met her. Actually he was more like 5 months old but 6 when I finally met him.
hes never had a dad, his sperm donor ran off when he found out she was pregnant, went to work, never came home. Showed up in cali a year later, did some time over criminal charges for fraud, Hes back in Utah now, never seen the kid, never did shit about him.
I like it that way, Fuck that bastard, That kid is mine. I may not of been the one to fuck her and knock her up but Im the one thats paid for the kid. I paid in emotion, Iv been ther to kiss boo boos better, Im the guy thats up all night when he has a bad dream and runs to the store at 3 am to get medicine when he suddenly comes down sick, Im the fucker who takes him out and taught him to cast his line, taught him to fish, reads him books, ties his shoes, Im his fucking father, end of story.
I swear to christ Ill kill any mother fucker that says other wise.
We decided sometime this year to schedule and follow through with the marriage. We have been engaged a couple years now. As the state knows who his sperm donor is they are requiring him to pay child support now, but he has a few years built up, they take half his check, he cant afford to live and has no interest in his son, after the wedding, I dont think getting his ass to sign off on the adoption papers and erase his debt. If hes unwilling to do so Ill persue it with attorneys and shit on him as a piss poor parent who should be banned from his son who he has never seen. Hes a fucking criminal, a druggie, it wont be hard, just cost more money.
Anyways Im ranting, Fuck whats up in my life, all I wanted to say to begin with has been said, noone can take you seriously till you take yourself seriously. Once you have something going for you and can see yourself as a real person others will too.
as to the divorce part...Well I dont have the next 2 years to sit here typing out what a cunt my x is and why, Ill avoid that whole subject other than to say that people who are nto mentally adults use anything there is to hurt the one they were with, often the only thing they have is te kids.
Kids using kids to hurt the other. Its bullshit, children are not weapons, low class fuck face toad humping bowel slurpers who are nto capable of being an adult use the kids to do what they cant and thats hurt the other person.
Glad shits working out for ya, Now I gotta go cut up some potatos, the smell is killing me, the sooner the potatos go in the sooner I can eat that fucking yummy smelling bastard cooking downstairs.
