I don't need advice on starting a relationship with a guy who is in the middle of divorce, and I don't need to be told that I should have considered it...I did, for months. I got to know him really well, and where HE stands.
The trouble is, he is sending mixed signals to his ex. Not directly, but he won't let his kids mom be homeless (something I found commendable until last night). So now shit is going south with her boyfriend (the one she left my guy for) and she is giving him the whole whiney act. He basically told her that he didn't want to hear her shit, because as long as her name is on the lease, she has a couch to sleep on.
I was TOTALLY aware of this when we met, and as our relationship has grown. I know, that she has a key to the house, and she comes there sometimes, for a shower, or to do laundry. Not a big deal, I actually wish she would be there to spend time with her son MORE (as she only spends MAYBE 2hrs a week with him, and that is usually just talking smack time)...Basically she abandoned both her son and her husband somewhere near six months ago.
Kicking her to the curb wasn't an option for a bit, because of finances, but now he is squarely on his own two feet he found a better job (that makes up for her missing income and then some)...
So, yesterday, she does the whiney...AND, informs him that she almost came there the night before to crawl in bed with him. She also asked him that since she had an affair, and now he has too, if he would consider getting back together...His response was HELL NO! Plus, I know he would have put her ass on the floor fast as lightning, but I guess, I am wondering, how much is it MY business?
Do I have the right, to push him to do something to get her gone? I mean, like COMPLETELY gone. Is it wrong to ask him to push his kids mother into a possible state of homelessness? Why, should she have "perks" that the rest of us don't have? I think, she needs the reality check in order to become a better person at least for her son.
I already confronted him, about how his kindness can be interpreted as "leaving the door cracked" for her to come back. He understands, I think...But maybe not, because I can't let it go.
Would it be wrong for me to confront her myself? I think it is his job to keep her at bay, but she's fucking with MY man now...
I don't feel like he wants to go back, but she feels like a threat...
So, another question: I have NEVER been jealous before, is it because I actally love, and connect with this guy so much that I finally feel it? or is there possibly a real threat this time? I already knew, and until NOW accepted that she was still poking around...I am feeling like it's time for an ultimatum.
If you put up with reading this, thanks. Advice will be nice...